


Matters of the Heart

by Nelioe



Series: Courtship Feast Results [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Allergies, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Erebor Never Fell, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Angry Kíli, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Sexual Assault, Courtship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erebor is more progressive than the Ironhills, Everything is Complicated, Falling In Love, Fili and Kili aren't related, Fíli is Thorin's son, Fíli needs a hug as well, Grief/Mourning, Hate to Love, Heartbreak, Hurt Fíli, Implied Mpreg, Intrigue, Kili needs a hug, Kíli is Dáin's nephew, Kíli is an arsehole in the beginning, M/M, Mutual Pining, Negative Dáin Ironfoot Portrayal, Past Character Death, Public Humiliation, Slow Burn, Swearing, Thorin and Frerin and Dís aren't related, Thorin is awesome, different concept of 'Ones', discriminatory traditions, imminent arranged marriage, weird family relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 75,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6501523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelioe/pseuds/Nelioe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a tragedy strikes Fíli's life, he takes on the position of a personal bodyguard for Dáin's nephew, to get away from the pain at home. Kíli is supposed to find his mate during a courtship feast, but doesn't seem at all desirable. He is cruel and angry and Fíli soon regrets coming to the Iron Hills. But the longer he stays, the more the painful truth unravels and soon Fíli finds his feelings torn between a man that is lost and a man he can't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I actually didn't want to post this story for a while, because I wanted to finish it, before uploading it. But then I had a look at the prompts for the SpringFRE this morning and since then the urge to share this story has gotten unbearable, because it fits one of the prompts so well.
> 
> It is number 94. _It’s always complicated._
> 
> I don't promise fast updates, but I promise regular updates. I would say weekly for now.
> 
> As a side note: The whole Alpha/Beta/Omega concept in this story is mostly used for the sake of cultural differences and to explain why a prince would be allowed to marry a male and that's basically all.

 

 

There was a knock at his door. Probably one of the servants supposed to wake him, although Fíli wasn’t in need of it. He was already fully dressed and ready to head out, despite the curtains in his chambers still drawn. It was easier to endure the loneliness of his bedroom without too much light in it, to draw his attention to the person that was missing for almost a year now. Fíli was mourning his loss with the same passion he had, when the news first reached him. But life wasn’t suddenly put to a halt just because an important someone was missing in it. Life went on and regardless if Fíli wanted it or not, he was pulled into its undertow and couldn’t do anything but follow along, even if with a certain lack of eagerness.

To his great surprise, however, it wasn’t a servant entering his chambers, ready to wake him, but instead he was greeted by the sight of his father. Thorin regarded the drawn curtains with a heavy sigh that made Fíli’s chest ache. He knew he was worrying the king of Erebor with his withdrawn and gloomy behaviour, but he couldn’t help it. All the light in his world seemed to be missing and even though he had come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to die on a broken heart, it didn’t mean at the same time that living with a wound inside his chest, where once his heart tended to be, would be simple in any way.

Thorin sank heavily on Fíli’s bed and patted the place beside him to urge his son to sit down next to him.

“I want to make a suggestion,” Thorin began, catching Fíli’s attention, turning his mind away from his loneliness and to the words of his father. “I see that you aren’t well here anymore and I understand. Your home is filled with painful memories and they might never leave you. I feel like a change of scenery could do you some good, so you can wake up without being immediately reminded of what happened and perhaps it could help you to view your home again as what it is, instead of a world that has taken him from you.”

Fíli didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want to go any day without seeing the places they had met and spent their time together. Where they had kissed and promised each other to one another. Where Fíli had braided the beads into his hair and allowed him to do the same with him. Beads he was still wearing, although it was all but appropriate, was even reckoned as derogative. But Fíli simply didn’t know how to let go, didn’t _want_ to let go and had never been more thankful for the consideration of his father, who had never asked him to remove the beads, even though it would’ve stopped his people from protesting. But his father understood him in a way most did not, Thorin's mate had died in childbirth after all. Granted, they weren’t in the completely same situation, for example Thorin had married and was therefore still allowed to wear the beads of his dead husband. But he understood and this was everything that mattered.

“Dáin is holding the courtship feast for his nephew, Kíli, an omega.”

Fíli stared at Thorin with wide eyes, unable to believe what his father had just uttered.

“It’s not what you are thinking!” Thorin softened his tone as soon as he noticed Fíli’s betrayed expression. “Dáin is looking for a personal bodyguard for his nephew. You know how some alphas behave and having so many of them courting an omega at the same time could easily escalate, so he wants the lad to be protected. I recommended you. And Balin and Dwalin, two of my dear friends, are also in Dáin’s service, so you wouldn’t be alone and would have people you could trust.”

Fíli frowned. “But if I volunteer to be that lad’s bodyguard, wouldn’t Dáin try to set me up with his nephew?”

“No, during the time his son Thorin Stonehelm was still alive, he was never really interested in you, since he couldn’t set the two of you up. I would be surprised, if he still remembered your name, let alone your face. During our last meeting you were a little boy and even my meetings with Dáin were limited, since we discussed our trading agreement through Balin. You truly don’t have to worry, he thinks you are one of my most trusted guards and that I offer your service for the next months to honour our alliance.”

Fíli pondered over it. It didn’t sound that bad and if Dáin truly had no idea who he was, it would be very unlikely for any kind of attention turning onto him. And even though leaving felt the like the wrong choice, Fíli was aware that his life couldn’t continue like this. He wasn’t expecting anything to change overnight, just because he spent his time in the Iron Hills for three months during the courtship feast. The pain wouldn’t leave, but perhaps it would lessen, when he couldn’t torture himself anymore with visiting their favourite spots.

However, what truly made him consider Thorin’s suggestion and to agree to it in the end, was his father himself. He had supported him for months, hadn’t expected anything of him, allowing him to find a way through his sorrow on his own pace. The least he could do, after all those months, was to try for him, in hopes it could ease some of the hurt in his father’s eyes, which came naturally with the love for his son.

“I will do it. You are right, a change of scenery might be good.”

Thorin pulled him into a warm embrace, gifting him one of those proud smiles the prince had always strived for.

“I will get in contact with Balin. He will help you to get along in Dáin’s kingdom.”

Fíli nodded, unsure how to feel about his decision, even though he knew it was for the better.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli arrives at the Iron Hills and meets Kíli for the first time.

 

 

It was a warm summer day by the time Fíli arrived at the Iron Hills.  No one seemed to take notice of him as he rode through the gates on the back of his pony. So many people were passing the entrance that one dwarf more or less wasn’t catching anyone’s eye. Fíli found himself wondering how many of the people reaching the mountains had come because of the courtship feast. At the first sight this place didn’t seem any different compared to Erebor. Brisk sales and busy activities as far as the eye could see.

He was used to a world of green marble, so the world of grey he was greeted with surprised him at first. He learned very fast, though, after he’d dismounted, ordered a stable lad to take care of his pony and tried to find his way through the huge halls and hallways to the place Balin had described him in his letters and where they were supposed to meet, that dwarves here had their own methods to let the gloomy colour appear more inviting. Colourful glass lamps, banners and the light of the sun guided into the mountains almost covering the whole place in warm atmosphere.

Fíli admired the ornaments carved into the stone, the huge statues of great, long since forgotten kings and the decorations, while he wandered through the place, until he reached one of the more quiet parts of the dwarven city.

Guards were waiting, looking like silent statues were they kept watch at a staircase Fíli knew he had to pass. He couldn’t see their faces, hidden by the helmets of their armour. The prince stopped at the sight, unsure how to proceed. Where these guards informant he was to come today? And if, would they believe he was the one they were supposed to let pass? Just walking on and seeing what would happen was out of question, Fíli was quite fond of his physical integrity and wasn’t very keen on making acquaintance of their axes. Especially since the pack on his shoulders would be heavy enough in a fight to unbalance him easily, not that he was looking for a fight, but he needed to be prepared for anything if he wanted to survive in a different environment and was supposed to act like a bodyguard for an omega, after all.

He was saved from those thoughts, though, by a voice that called his name. Fíli followed its origin and spotted Balin at the head of the stairs. The dwarf was looking the same, from what Fíli remembered, their last meeting was some years ago after all, just his hair had meanwhile turned completely white. But he was still gifted with the same warm and wise expression. The prince couldn’t help but smile. He remembered those days, many decades ago, when the other dwarf would visit regularly, always with a story on his lips for a lad that wanted to go on adventures, and toys and sweets to give away that caused Fíli’s eyes to lighten with joy. Balin had always been his favourite _uncle_ , until he received his first wooden sword from Dwalin.

When he attempted to pass, no one was stopping him. Fíli still cast a wary glance over his shoulders before he returned Balin’s greeting.

“Fíli, my lad! How was your journey?”

“Uneventful, thankfully,” Fíli replied, as he allowed himself to be guided through the hallways. The least he would’ve needed on his way to the Iron Hills was a skirmish with orcs. The trading route was considered safe, but this wasn’t a warrant for one’s safety. People had died with tons of guards, as they had died all alone in an ambush. Especially for the first Dáin’s son had been the best example. Orcs had ambushed the hunting party of Thorin Stonehelm and despite all of his guards, in the end it was a stray arrow that had killed him.

Fíli gladly noticed that it wasn’t far from the stairs to the chamber he would stay in. The journey had been long and he felt incredibly tired, a bath, a meal and a bit of sleep sounded wonderful right now. He would also have to unpack and meet the prince, if such a meeting was set up for today, and learn about his duty as a bodyguard. He had trained hard and was a skilled fighter, as well as a good tactician, but he had never filled the post of a guard himself, busy with being the heir to a kingdom that he was.

“You will stay in one of the rooms of Kíli’s chambers, you will be his personal bodyguard, after all. Dwalin will be with you, during the first few days and act as your replacement, so you can at least relax and recharge on one day each week, but other than that you will be responsible for Kíli’s safety.”

Fíli nodded, this wasn’t anything new, Balin had already mentioned most of it in the letters he’d sent him weeks ago, but probably wanted to refresh his memory. What the blond hadn’t expected, though, was that he was going to stay in the same chambers. He found himself hoping for this Kíli to be a subdued lad and that he wouldn’t have to listen to him and his chosen alpha tumbling in the sheets before the courtship feast was over. Oh, it might be frowned upon for intendeds, on some places it was even forbidden to lie with each other before the wedding, but as far as Fíli knew this hadn’t really restrained anyone from doing it anyway so far.

He couldn’t help but swallow hard at the thought. Protecting a lad that was searching for his One, searching for love… perhaps it hadn’t been such a good idea to volunteer for the duty as his bodyguard.

Clearing his throat Fíli put his pack down, seeking to dispel the feeling of sorrow that was suddenly trying to choke him all over again.

“So, what is this Kíli like?”

Balin sighed at that. It was never a good sign.

“He is a handful. Don’t get me wrong, he is a good lad at heart, but being suddenly Dáin’s heir isn’t doing him any good.” Fíli could imagine, if the raising was done wrong, it was easy to become arrogant with the foreign importance put on such young shoulders. The blond had seen many offsprings of noble dwarves acting like this. However, Balin wasn’t finished yet. “It’s not my story to tell, though. And you will realise soon enough why he is such trouble.”

Frowning, but otherwise silent, Fíli couldn’t help but think that it would’ve been better if Balin hadn’t said anything at all. Now he was feeling slightly worried and curious.

The other dwarf seemed to notice it as well. “Forget what I said, laddie. Rather form your own opinion, don’t mind this old, sentimental dwarf.”

“You are neither of those things,” Fíli uttered reassuringly.

A barking laughter erupted from Balin’s throat.

“That’s very kind of you to say, but we both know it is the truth,” he replied, giving Fíli a wink. “Well, how about you unpack while I order a meal to be brought here, you must be quite exhausted, it was a long journey, after all. In the meantime, I will see if I can find Kíli anywhere, so you two can meet before you begin your duty at his side.”

“That would be wonderful,” he nodded.

Balin smiled kindly at him and a few heartbeats later the blond found himself alone in the huge chambers of the prince of the Iron Hills.

Fíli's room was huge, cosy and impersonal, which wasn’t surprising, considering that he had just arrived and since he didn’t want to feel at home here anyway - he was going to leave the Iron Hills after the courtship feast, so he didn’t even want to feel at home. After unpacking his clothes and the few other personal belongings he’d brought along that Dáin wouldn’t provide him with, Fíli headed to the bathroom. It was just as enormous as the other rooms he’d seen so far, a knee-deep pool was cut into the stone, which wasn’t that different from home, although this pool surpassed even what Fíli was used to.

However, the Iron Hills were different in many categories and one was their desire to show off their wealth, as if it was a silent competition between this kingdom and others. Erebor wasn’t amongst them, they didn’t need huge chambers, snobby banquets or the most expensive piece of jewellery. Thorin believed that riches should be used for the good of the people’s welfare and Fíli supported this mind-set, although some might argue that everyone knew Erebor was the wealthiest of all dwarven realms and therefore didn’t need to enter the competition, since if they did, they would win without doubt.

Whatever the other dwarves liked to think, right now Fíli couldn’t really complain when he slid into the pool, welcoming the hot water relaxing his aching muscles. He’d completely forgotten how much riding could hurt, especially in the thighs. He’d been riding then and again in Erebor, but the last time he’d crossed such a distance was years ago and therefore his body had been hardly prepared for the strain the journey had put it through.

A bowl of stew was waiting for him, when he was done and returned to the living room, probably served by some servants while he was taking a bath. The food was delicious and after a bit of rest, Fíli felt more up for his duty than before.

Since he couldn’t say how long it would take Balin to find Kíli and send him to his chambers, Fíli returned to his room and braided the beads back into his hair. Playing absently with the them, shining in beautiful silver in the light of the room, the prince couldn’t help but lose himself in the family crest, forged into the metal by skilful hands. He was almost able to hear his nervous voice, the little relieved laugh when _he_ accepted the beads and the meaning they carried, remembered warm lips pressing against his and capturing them in a gentle kiss so full of love it had tried to burst his heart with joy.

The bead slipped from his fingers, dangling from his braided hair and yanking him back into the presence. Fíli swallowed hard, tears suddenly burning behind his eyes, while his throat constricted painfully. It took him some time to compose himself, to remind him why he was here, that he was actually trying to get past that constant pain, eating at his heart for so long Fíli was surprised it still existed, was still beating. He wanted to get better, not only for himself, but also for _him_ , because _he_ would’ve wanted him happy, despite everything, despite the promise. Living for himself again, going on not because he had to, but because he wanted to, was the first step. A bit of distraction would be helpful to take his mind off the bittersweet memories attacking him so often.

If he just wasn’t alone in those chambers right now.

And as if someone had listened to his thoughts, the sounds of voices suddenly reached his ears, announcing the entrance of at least two dwarves. Getting up from where he was sitting on a neatly made bed, Fíli left his room to great whoever had come in.

The sight of a huge dwarf greeted him, tattoos adorning the bald part of his head, just like his arms. He looked slightly intimidating, but Fíli knew him just as well as Balin, even if the memory of his appearance had gone a bit foggy in his mind with the years. The blond couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Dwalin, before his gaze wandered to the other figure, clothed in a dark blue tunic and a leather jerkin. The brunet hair flooded freely over his shoulders, only restrained by what had to be a hair clasp. The beard was what put Fíli off the most, since it was barely even there and causing the dwarf to look younger than he perhaps even was. The glare the lad shot him wasn’t very reassuring either, but couldn't unsettle Fíli. He had dealt with enough difficult guild masters to last a lifetime.

“Fíli?” Dwalin exclaimed with surprise. “I had no idea you had already arrived! It’s good to see you, laddie.”

Not much later the prince found himself in the tight embrace of the tall dwarf, which he returned, after the first shock, just as fiercely, ignoring the way the brunet scowled at them.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Fíli replied with a grin, once they broke the hug.

The sound of a slight cough prevented Dwalin from whatever he wanted to say next, causing them both to turn to the brunet, who had folded his arms in front of his chest and was glaring at them with such anger gleaming in his brown eyes, Fíli frowned unnervingly.

“Fíli, if I may introduce. This is Kíli, prince of the Iron Hills,” he said before addressing Kíli. “And this is Fíli. He will be your bodyguard for the time of the courtship feast.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Fíli stuck to civility, despite the other’s blatant aversion, and bowed.

“A bodyguard?” Kíli hissed instead of returning the common act of politeness. “Why do I need a damn bodyguard, aren’t there already enough guards around?” The brunet turned accusingly to Dwalin.

“It’s for your own safety,” the other dwarf replied without as much as a twitch of an eye.

“Yeah, sure. You know what, you retarded sycophant, fuck you!”

Fíli could only watch in stunned silence as the prince insulted Dwalin with so much spite, it was hard to believe they had been involved in a normal conversation before Fíli had joined them. He saw already the anger seethe below the surface of the bald dwarves controlled mask. To the blond’s great surprise, though, the other wasn’t calling him out on his terrible behaviour, but simply took a deep breath, clenched his fists and glared at the lean boy.

“And you, too!” Kíli suddenly turned to Fíli. “I don’t need a stupid bodyguard. So I’m ordering you to leave.”

Fíli raised his brows in disbelief. For the first time in his life he was confronted with someone being as openly rude as Kíli. He was used to people clothing their nasty little comments in sentences oozing with arrogance and politeness, so they could never be charged for treason or any other kind of impudence towards a prince, since they could always claim for it to be a misunderstanding and no one watching on the sideline would be the wiser. Kíli, however, would’ve been easily imprisoned, had he used that big mouth to talk to Fíli like that in Erebor. But Fíli knew how to play these games and a rude brat like this wouldn’t manage to break the bearing, the blond had trained to maintain in the presence of others for years.

“This is not your decision, my prince. Your king asked for a guard to ensure your safety and entrusted me with this task, only he has the power to release me from my duty,” he told the prince matter-of-factly.

Fíli kind of expected a full blown tantrum, but at least a fit of screaming after the first impression. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Kíli to furiously grab one of the chairs and knock it over forcefully, before he stamped into what had to be his room, slamming the door shut angrily.

What a spoilt, terrible being. Fíli couldn’t help but grimace at the thought of having to spent months with such an angry child. He was aware that the brunet had only been announced the prince of the Iron Hills after the death of Dáin’s son, but realising there wasn’t even one spark of decency in this guy caused him to shake his head with disbelief.

Dwalin sighed, leaning down to pick the chair up.

“When Balin told me he is a handful I didn’t expect this,” he murmured, quiet enough so it could only be heard by Dwalin. Fíli didn’t want to be one of those people that talked bad about someone behind their back, but wasn’t feeling like he could keep his opinion completely to himself and Dwalin was one of the only two dwarves here he trusted, therefore he allowed himself this brief moment of spite. Although Kíli would probably deserve having some of it thrown into his face. But he was the prince and Fíli had come here to get away from some of his issues, so he didn’t need to add any new ones to them.

“Not saying that he isn’t, but Dáin doesn’t really make it easy for him either,” Dwalin muttered.

“That’s no excuse,” Fíli replied sternly.

“No, I guess it isn’t,” the other agreed. “Speaking of Dáin, he asked to see you after your arrival. Probably to discuss part of your duties.”

“I thought my only duty was to protect Kíli,” not that he really wanted to do it after what he’d just witnessed, but if the world was about _wanting_ quite a lot things would’ve turned out different in the past.

“Then you should better go to him and find out. At this time he is usually signing documents in his chambers. I will ask one of the guards to escort you.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli meets Dáin and the last preparations for the courtship feast are overseen.

 

 

And this was how he met Dáin for the first time in decades. A guard led Fíli into a writing room, where the king was reading over a document, staring at the paper as if the request written on it asked of him to give away his kingdom.

Fíli bowed when he was announced to the king of the Iron Hills, a curious gaze looking him up and down. The king leaned back into his chair and beckoned him over. The room, even bigger than the one Fíli would be living in, was equipped with a fluffy carpet, perhaps to keep the warmth inside it, even though the fire crackling in the fireplace would do a good job on it at its own. Layers of fur and expensive fabric, adorned by gemstones and artistic ornaments, underlined Dáin’s royal bearing, supported by the braids and jewellery woven into his hair and beard.

“I have to admit, I expected you to be older when Thorin recommended you, but if the king of Erebor trusts you, who am I to deny you the same respect.”

Bowing his head gratefully Fíli waited for a sign to speak, keeping his hands clasped behind his back and standing straight. Dáin examined him once again, until a small smile graced his features and a pleased gleam found its way to his eyes. It seemed Fíli had passed the king’s test.

“If you are truly as good as Thorin wrote to me, protecting my nephew shouldn’t be that hard. I assume you already had the pleasure of meeting him?”

“Yes, I did,” Fíli replied tersely, certain a longer answer wouldn’t be required, let alone appropriate in the presence of the king.

“He is terrible, isn’t he?” Dáin said, reaching over to a tankard of ale, standing at the far end of his desk and taking a gulp.

The question almost caused Fíli’s detached mask to slip. Sure, Kíli’s first impression had him appear rather terrible, but there was a falsehood about the brunet’s uncle admitting this out in the open like this. Dáin was about to hold a courtship feast for his nephew after all, shouldn’t he do his utmost to let Kíli seem desirable? Omegas, who failed at courting during a courtship feast, had a hard time to find anyone to marry in the future at all. What would become of the kingdom if there wasn’t an heir after Kíli? It confused Fíli more than he was ready to admit.

“That’s why you need to keep a very close eye on him.”

“In what way?” the blond wondered.

“I can’t have him whoring around with the first alpha that makes eyes at him. The dowry for an omega like him is already dreadful as it is, but can you imagine how much it would increase if his belly is fat with a bastard? If anyone would take him at all in that case,” Dáin hissed outraged.

He shook himself out of it, when he realised how worked up he had become, but there was just something about the kings behaviour that filled Fíli’s insides with dread.

He’d almost forgotten about the different traditions. While in Erebor it didn’t matter what the heir was, be it alpha, beta, omega or woman, the Iron Hills only accepted an alpha as their king. Thinking of Kíli as the heir was therefore probably wrong all along, although Fíli wasn’t exactly sure what this knowledge turned the brunet into. The blond might have learned the different traditions, but was lacking the right insight, since he’d been brought up in the traditions of his people, while the ones of other realms were only briefly mentioned.

Was this the reason Dwalin had mentioned Dáin wasn’t making it easy for Kíli or came Dáin’s anger from Kíli’s terrible manners? Fíli decided right then and there that he didn’t want to know. He wasn’t in need of any drama, there had been enough drama in his life to last for a lifetime. He wasn’t going to take sides, wasn’t going to attest one more fault than the other. From what he’d seen so far they both weren’t covering themselves in glory and he would leave it at that.

“Has he fooled around with other men before?” Fíli asked, because it was the only thing that mattered right now in their conversation.

“Not yet. He is still a virgin. But I think him capable of anything right now.”

“Then I will ensure that no one is going to take advantage of your nephew,” he assured the king.

“Good,” Dáin breathed. “That’s good.”

Fíli was dismissed shortly afterwards. This time no guard was waiting for him, they seemed to expect he would be able to find his way back to Kíli’s chambers on his own. Luckily the blond had a better sense for direction than his father, otherwise he might’ve greater troubles.

As it was, the only kind of trouble was Kíli. The brunet had come out of his room again in the meantime and immediately darted angry glances at Fíli, when the blond entered the chambers. Deciding it was the best to ignore the omega, Fíli pulled off his boots and headed into his rooms to store them there, before he returned into the living room. Since Dwalin wasn’t here at the moment, he probably could begin right away to keep an eye on the brunet, the last thing he needed was him sneaking off just because he wasn’t feeling like letting an exhausted day of traveling end in Kíli’s company.

The prince watched him warily as the blond took a seat on an overstuffed couch. Leaning back, Fíli tried to relax, which was hard with the insults still hanging in the air and Dáin’s crudity towards his own nephew. Fíli might be truly able to forget here for some time, perhaps even to reach the change of perspective to help him through his sorrow, but only because he had a feeling he would be kept constantly busy at this place. He couldn’t quite say if he was up for this form of business or if he could even deal with so much constant nastiness. Even now Kíli still had this affronted look in his eyes.

“Just for the records,” the brunet’s voice cut through the thick silence. “I don’t need a bodyguard, I can very well fend for myself.”

Fíli wasn’t sure if he could believe it after he’d remembered the traditions of the Iron Hills, but arguing with Kíli would get him nowhere and he wasn’t really up for it anyway.

“The king seems to think differently,” he replied, mostly neutral.

“And you agree with him.”

It wasn’t a question, even though the brunet looked at him as if he was searching for something in his features. Fíli didn’t think he was giving any of his thoughts away, since keeping a blank expression wasn’t very hard with years of training as Thorin’s heir. In the end, he couldn’t say what Kíli saw on his face, perhaps it was only the imagination of a spoilt, angry lad, when the omega got up with a jerk.

“I hope you choke on your fucking food,” the omega growled, before he stormed back into his room.

Fíli huffed with annoyance. This was going to be some very long and strenuous months.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Eyes as blue as the lake shimmering like thousands of gemstones on sunny days met Fíli’s, when he opened his own. An affectionate smile, framed by a sick dark beard, the most beautiful sight after awakening. The prince couldn’t help but smile as well, just looking at the other, without saying a word, just content to have him right next to him. He leaned into the gentle hand wandering through his hair._

_“What are you thinking about?” a whisper in the early morning hours, as if one reckless spoken word could startle the birds outside of Erebor._

_“How lucky I am to have you,” Fíli replied._

_The following laugh echoed as clear as crystal through the room, a sound that was even after years still able to speed up his heartbeat._

_“I am the lucky one, to be chosen by the most kind-hearted prince of Middle Earth.”_

_The fingers in his hair wandered to Fíli’s beard, played with it for a couple of seconds, before they were used to hold him still, as lips captured his in a tender kiss._

 

* * *

 

 

 

The morning after their first meeting started uneventful, save for Kíli’s rather unnerving glaring at him, as if he was trying to kill the blond with his looks. Not to mention that the prince had forbidden him to eat breakfast in the living room with him, which was how Fíli found himself alone in his room, enjoying eggs and sausages. He preferred it like this as well, the company was much better and arguing with the brunet would be no use, since Fíli knew people like him and they always believed they were right. Although it was only the third time Kíli had acted ridiculous in his presence, so he wasn’t quite able to judge yet if he would manage to ignore the omegas behaviour forever.

Fíli consoled himself that he could be as harsh with Kíli as he pleased, if he deemed the brunet’s safety endangered. Perhaps he could use it in his favour in the worst case.

Dwalin joined them soon after breakfast. Fíli was already dressed, while Kíli fumbled with the laces of his tunic, snapping at the bald dwarf when he dared to ask how much more time the prince would need. But eventually he was done and the little group headed towards the ceremonial hall, where by tomorrow the first day of the courtship feast was going to be initiated.

The traditions of the courtship feast weren’t new to Fíli, so while Kíli argued with one of the dwarves, responsible for the decoration of the hall, he let himself be instructed in the architecture of the Iron Hills. Dwalin would be with him for the first days, but afterwards he needed to find his way on his own and it probably was better if he hadn’t to rely on Kíli in that matter.

He had been just informed about the different markets of these mountains, some more affordable for certain parts of the society than others, when a crash interrupted their conversation, turning the heads of all dwarves present in the room to the brunet and the shocked older dwarf standing beside them. On the ground Fíli spotted shards of what could only be pieces of a smashed crystalline lantern.

“I said I want my crests on those lanterns. Not Dáin’s!” Kíli growled, giving the shards an angry kick, causing the mess to his feet to scatter even further.

If the brunet noticed everyone staring at him he ignored it and continued to vent on the poor old dwarf with the white hair and beard.

“Isn’t there anything you can do right? This is the wrong colour! I asked for blue banners, not red and then you can’t even manage to have lanterns with my crest made? You had two months to prepare it! I told you what I wanted and still you went against my wishes, how stupid are you?”

“I’m terribly sorry, my prince. But the king-“

“I don’t care what the king wants! I am the main point of the courtship feast and you would do very well to remember it! Now take those hideous lanterns off and bring me the ones I ordered or I swear to you, I’m going to smash every single one of them!”

Fíli watched in stunned silence how the poor old dwarf blanched at that and stammered a hurried reply. The dwarf seemed deeply hurt, eyes shimmering so bright as if he was going to break out into tears any second, most likely because he had dedicated months of work into the decoration, as was usual. Having his work addressed in such a manner, with not even one kind word directed at him, was pretty much able to dishearten anyone.

Seeing Kíli unable to understand that the dwarf he was screaming at was simply following the orders of the king and didn’t deserve any of the hate thrown at him, filled Fíli with the urge to grab the brunet by the shoulders and shake him forcefully, until some sort of common sense finally found its way into this thick head of his. Quite a few deep breaths were needed to stop the blond from doing any of it. He was here to protect the prince after all, but by Mahal, did he despise this knowledge right now.

The other dwarves in the hall had begun whispering resentfully, which Kíli seemed to finally register, since he turned around, glaring at the elder dwarf’s workers.

“What are you staring at? Go back to work you lazy lowlifes!” And with this the prince left the hall.

Fíli almost forgot to follow him and Dwalin, still hardly believing what he’d just witnessed. The alpha couldn’t help the feeling that the courtship feast would end in a disaster. Who would fall in love with such a rude and awful man?

 

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli's behaviour has consequences.

 

 

_“Shh,” Fíli hissed at his giggling betrothed, while he wasn’t any better with suppressing the soft laughter erupting from his throat. “Thorin might hear.”_

_“Let him hear.” Breath smelling like mead ghosted over his lips, before the omega began to pepper the prince’s neck with kisses._

_“But what will he think?” Fíli protested half-heartedly, not slowing down in the slightest and undoing the laces of the other’s trousers. His smell was delicious, driving the alpha wild, urging his hands to touch, to explore, searching for skin, more skin._

_“That his son is very happy right now,” the man in his arms purred._

_Fíli giggled, surfing on a wave of lust and the warm feeling of the mead, enough to let him forget his worries about what was right by their traditions, not enough to be drunk out of his wits._

_“Can’t argue against this,” he agreed, bringing just the right amount of distance between them to pull his omega’s tunic off._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The courtship feast was a time, when a dwarf of noble blood tried to find their One or at least a mate if the other pursuit failed. Regardless where a dwarf wandered, the traditions for the courtship feast were everywhere the same. It was a time of honouring Mahal and to build one's future, therefore dwarves shouldn't do the one thing without the other.

_You shall honour the stone Mahal forged you from. You shall honour the strength Mahal gave the dwarves. You shall honour the home Mahal gave you to. You shall honour food and drink that keeps you in this world. And you shall honour each other’s crafts._

Food and drink were traditionally honoured with a dinner. Every suitor would dine with the intended in the company of both of their families. The honouring of the crafts had to wait until the end of the courtship feast and was usually honoured, when the couple had already chosen each other and forged the beads together, and with them the sign that they were soon going to be bound in marriage. The other three traditions were stages the dwarf searching for a mate had to undergo with every suitor that had caught their interest. For only if they had shared those five traditions together, they would be allowed to marry.

The usual realisation of dinner and forging beads aside, it was up to the people involved in the courting to decide how they wanted to honour the other traditions. As long as the tradition could be recognised in the activities no one was going to object.

At the moment, however, the courtship feast seemed to be ill-fated for a different reason. Kíli's little tantrum with the decoration team obviously wasn't going to be left without consequences. Fíli was thankful for it, when the three of them where called into the huge throne hall, where Dáin was already waiting for them. It soothed the prince, for after witnessing yesterday's terrible incident, he feared there to be no one brave enough to stop Kíli's destructive words and hands.

Dáin looked anything but pleased, when Kíli, Fíli and Dwalin stepped into the hall. The throne wasn't as impressive as the one in Erebor, especially its location looked rather boring compared with Fíli's home. But the hall was huge nonetheless, stretching so high Fíli was almost certain he would be able to see the sky if he just looked up long enough.

The throne on the other end of the hall was carved from grey marble and ornamented by intertwined crests on the one half, while the other was left plain. Fíli had read a bit about the Iron Hills when he was young, not enough, though. Quite many things were uncommon to him, but he knew that the crests belonged to all families that had ever married one of Dáin's ancestors. The throne was a symbol of honour to Dáin's lineage.

Most of the light, guided into the room by a system of crystals, catching the rays of the sun outside of the mountain and leading them inside, was reserved for the area around the throne. Offering the king sitting on it a sublime gleam.

Fíli and Dwalin stopped at an appropriate distance, while Kíli did the last steps towards the throne on his own. The guards towering beside the king remained motionless, paying the prince no attention at all. Dáin, on the other hand, immediately got up when Kíli stood in front of him. While Fíli and Dwalin had bowed, Kíli simply folded his arms in front of his chest. Of course a bow wasn't expected of the prince, at least in Fíli's understanding, but a short notice with words at his arrival was part of the usual procedure. Kíli wasn't even offering the king this. His behaviour was simply unnerving.

"How dare you!" Dáin's voice boomed through the hall. "After you begged me for this courtship feast, you dare to repay my generosity with damaging the decoration? This is my kingdom and it will be presented the way I please!"

"The feast is about me!" Kíli argued, his words oozing with spite and sounding no less angry than Dáin's.

It was the first time Fíli could truly see the family relation between them. There wasn't even a fibre in each of their bodies to indicate who they were related to, but in their anger they seemed completely alike. Fíli dreaded already the days to come, when Thorin would resign to have the blond crowned king, if it meant to deal with Dáin or Kíli in the future. He could stay calm while others were already seething with rage, however, there wasn't really a point in arguing when the other party simply couldn't see reason. Kíli had appeared like such a person far too often during the last two days and seeing Dáin so prone to anger..., becoming king suddenly felt like an even harder task than in the years before.

"This feast is only happening because I allow it! And you would do well to remember it and be grateful for what I offer you!"

"Grateful? If I hadn't insisted on the traditions you would've gladly sold me off to some arsehole just to increase your power! I bet you have only invited alphas like him, you don't want me to be happy, you just want to show off your damn wealth!"

"Shut up!" Dáin's head was as red as a lobster by now, a vein protruding from his brow, causing him to appear as if he was literally going to explode with rage any second.

"I won’t! Let the whole kingdom here know what a greedy bastard-"

Kíli wasn't given the time to finish whatever he wanted to say, for a hand shot forward, striking him with a force that knocked him off his feet. A surprised cry escaped the brunet as the fell to the ground, instantly curling up in a ball when Dáin went after him without giving the state of his nephew any thought.

"You will show me respect, you useless little brat, even if I have to smash it into your head," the king growled.

Fíli couldn't really say when he'd started moving. But in one moment he was still standing next to Dwalin, in a safe distance to the fighting dwarves, and in the next he'd planted himself in front of Kíli, shielding him from Dáin's wrath. Mahal knew Kíli was an arsehole, but what Dáin had done was going too far. Violence was helping no one and although Kíli had started the whole issue with his behaviour, seeing a king losing it this fast, a king, who couldn't even defend his actions with words but had to use his fists, never bode well. And in the end Fíli's duty was to protect Kíli.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the brunet giving him a strange look, Fíli couldn't focus on it right now, though, and had to deal with Dáin instead.

"What are you-" Dáin began furiously, but was obviously unable to finish his thoughts. "Step out of the way, now!"

"With all due respect, my king," Fíli said, choosing his words very carefully. "You have entrusted me with the duty to protect your nephew from harm. But this aside, what will the lords think if they see the prince covered in bruises by the beginning of the feast tomorrow?"

This seemed to break the spell Dáin was under. He glared one last time at Kíli, before he finally detected the reason in Fíli's words.

"If you talk to me like this again, I will make _them_ leave and cancel the courtship feast," the king addressed his nephew.

The threat hung heavily in the air and even Fíli felt a sense of pity for Kíli. Corporal punishments like this didn't exist in Erebor, were even punished heavily and therefore went completely against everything Fíli believed and the thought that Dáin might order him and Dwalin to leave them alone, just so he could beat his nephew up, made the blond's insides constrict with nausea.

"You are dismissed," Dáin hissed, draining the tension from Fíli's limbs, the alpha hadn't even realised must've crept into him at some point.

Kíli looked slightly dazed as Dwalin bent down to help him up on his feet, supporting the brunet the whole way out of the hall.

Fíli wasn’t residing in this kingdom for a week and he already couldn’t help but think these people were insane. Dáin was a stubborn squaller and Kíli an angry child, who was most likely going to scare every one of his suitors off. When he’d expected some kind of distraction here, he hadn’t assumed it would work that amazingly. Although the knowledge carried a mixture of relief and guilt. He shouldn’t look for distraction, he should honour _his_ memory. Instead he would soon be the only one taking care of a difficult prince. Perhaps coming here had been a big mistake, but he couldn’t back out anymore. He was here, had sworn his duty in a contract before he’d even saddled his pony to ride to the Iron Hills. Fíli had to stay for three months and was already looking forward to his first break this week, which was never a good sign.

“You alright there, laddie?” Dwalin asked Kíli as soon as they had reached the prince’s chambers again, patting him awkwardly on the back as he did so.

The brunet’s head jerked into the direction of the guard and after a shake of his head, he finally seemed to notice again, where he was. With a few steps he abruptly brought a safe distance between himself and Dwalin.

“Of course, I’m fine!” he hissed. “Mind your own business!”

A wave of annoyance crushed down on Fíli, filling him with the desire to roll his eyes at this nonsense.

“The same goes for you!” Kíli pointed at him. “I don’t need you making sure I’m looking _presentable_. How dare you thinking you have any say in it? You are just a guard! No one cares what you think! Mahal, I can’t stand your stupid face!”

“You’re being unfair, Kíli!” Dwalin growled warningly at the other’s rant.

“You are honestly trying to tell _me_ what’s unfair?” Kíli asked with mocking laughter.

And this was where Fíli couldn’t stand it anymore. Usually he had the patience of a saint, a patience even Thorin envied him for, although he was far more experienced in dealing with difficult people. But right now Fíli wasn’t able to keep his mouth shut anymore. Kíli was an awful brat, with a temper that finally needed to get a proper ticking-off. Everyone here was kind to him and still he ranted, screamed and insulted the staff. No one here had hurt him in any way!

“Will you finally shut your mouth?” Fíli barely raised his voice, but used a tone he’d picked up from his father. “Since I have met you, you can only scream like an angry child. What do you think you will gain with this, huh? Do you think people will respect you? Fear you? You are only a laughing-stock and can count yourself lucky, if any of your suitors even want to get to know you, when they realise what a terrible being you are.”

Kíli stared at him in stunned silence, obviously not used to getting hit back. He recovered faster from the first surprise than Fíli would’ve liked, though.

“You come here and pretend to know everything, but you know nothing. Nothing about me or Dáin or anyone. Just go back to your petty life and leave me alone.”

As if to underline his words, Kíli pulled his tunic off, throwing it right at Fíli’s feet.

“You seem to have not enough work to do, make yourself useful and pick it up or I will inform everyone of what a useless and dishonourable guard you are, talking to your prince like that.”

And with this Kíli turned around without batting an eye and locked himself up in his room once again. Leaving Fíli with clenched fists and angrily gnashing teeth. He didn’t know with whom he was more upset. With this awful brunet, calling himself a prince, or with himself for carelessly showing weakness in responding to the game Kíli seemed to be playing.

Dwalin sighed as he leaned down to pick the tunic up, shooting Fíli an apologetic glance.

“You would do better to just ignore him. Arguing with him is getting you nowhere besides in trouble,” the guard advised him.

And the worst thing, Fíli thought, was that Dwalin was completely right with it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“A kiss if I hit the centre with all three knives!” Fíli suggested._

_The omega looked at him with surprise, as if he’d expected anything but this. He brushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead, tilted his head and watched the prince thoughtfully. The blond could feel himself fidgeting under the gaze of the other man. But after what felt like a lifetime the omega finally smiled brightly, folded his arms in front of his chest and nodded._

_“Alright, if you manage to hit the centre with all three, your prize shall be a kiss!”_

_With a boost of excitement, giving his steps a light little bounce, he headed towards the targets. Stopping in a good distance he aimed, exhaled a deep breath and threw the first of his knives. It hit the centre easily. Shooting a glance over his shoulders, he gifted the dark haired omega a triumphant smile. The other chuckled, shaking his head softly._

_Fíli focused on the targets once more and hit the centre the second time as well. A sense of pleasant anticipation wandered through his body. The prince had fantasised for a while now how the lips of the other might feel, if they would taste as sweet and appealing as they looked. And now he had him agreeing to this bet. It seemed almost too good to be true._

_He couldn’t fail, not when he was so incredibly close. Raising the knife, Fíli aimed at the target, reached back and threw. But something wasn’t right… the handle felt wrong as it left his hand and with horror the young prince had to watch how the angle turned out to be not like he’d sought for it._

_The knife hit the target, but missed the centre by a few inches._

_Ruined… he had ruined his chance…_

_“Seems like you aren’t receiving a prize,” the omega replied cheerfully._

_Fíli hunched his shoulders, barely able to turn his attention on anything else, but at this missed opportunity. Who knew if he would ever get a second chance?_

_“Fíli?” The lovely voice of the other dwarf caused him to turn to the young man, even though the failure was still gnawing painfully at his insides._

_And then, from one moment to another, lips met his, so soft and warm that they made his heart flutter. It was over far too soon, but left him with the desire for more. Confused, he gazed at the man he’d fallen in love with._

_“But I missed,” he argued._

_“You did,” the omega nodded. “I didn’t kiss you because you hit the centre three times. I kissed you, because I think you are cute.”_

_Fíli wrinkled his nose. Cute? He wasn’t cute! And even if… was this the only reason he’d kissed him?_

_The other huffed as if he’d read his thoughts._

_“I like you, Fíli. More than just a friend.”_

_The lips returned and didn’t pull away so fast this time._

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The courting feast begins.

 

 

Kíli seemed to punish him with silence on the next day, which was alright with him, at least it saved him from the brunet’s awful voice. Fíli had already come to despise him, not a very good development considering that he was entrusted with the prince’s safety. His honour might be outweighing his aversion, but it would still make his duty harder than necessary.

At noon he escorted Kíli together with Dwalin to the ceremonial hall, where the courtship feast would begin and suitors from this and other kingdoms were going to meet the prince for the first time. The decoration hadn’t been changed like Kíli had wanted, looked exactly as Dáin had ordered and caused the omega to grimace, by the time they stepped through the huge doors leading into the hall.

To Fíli’s great surprise, however, the prince didn’t rant, didn’t scream, didn’t curse, didn’t hiss. Instead he seemed to accept it without any kind of fight and the blond was left wondering why the other had thrown such a tantrum in the first place. He soon spotted the reason behind his unlikely behaviour, when he saw Kíli chatting with his suitors. The prince smiled and laughed and complimented them. He would carefully decline dancing, but other than that acted like a well brought up dwarf.

Fíli felt already sorry for the poor alphas falling for this charade. Stifling every snarky remark the blond simply stood beside Dwalin and watched the progress of the courtship feast. There was food and drink and music, voices echoed from the high walls and made the little beginning ceremony appear like the perfect example of dwarven traditions. Just that Dáin wasn’t there, which was strange. Usually the parents of the courted dwarf oversaw this first meeting, giving their children advise which suitors committed misconduct, while their intended was busy with making small talk with somebody else and whose silver bead they therefore better shouldn’t accept.

There was only Balin, moving between the guests like a busy bee and then and again shoving Kíli towards the next alpha. Of course, Dáin and Kíli weren’t exactly on good terms, but a courtship feast represented not only the intended dwarf and main point of the traditional event, but also their guardian, the power of their house and the wealth and foresight of a kingdom. His absence might hurt Dáin’s reputation more than Kíli’s, who seemed to do pretty well as far as Fíli could say.

Kíli had ten beads of his own he was supposed to give away, while he had to accept at least five given to him. With three dozen alphas intending to court him during the feast, the omega was greeted with a rather large choice of possible suitors.

For Fíli being here and watching Kíli going along with the tradition had mostly a symbolic character. Dwalin and he weren’t the only guards present. Of course not, with such a high amount of suitors guards were pretty much positioned in the whole hall. No food, no drink, just standing still the whole time and watching the crowd. It was a pretty dull and uneventful affair, which he should be grateful for, but the lack of events caused his mind to wander into different territories.

There had never been a courtship feast for Fíli, simply because he’d never needed one. He had met that one true person very early in his life and what had felt like nothing more than a friendship in the beginning had developed during the following years. Having his feelings returned was the sweetest sensation his heart had ever comprehended. If he thought about being forced to attend a feast like this, when he’d already found the one holding his life in his hands, settled a bitter taste on his tongue. Thorin had always respected his choice, probably because he and his mate had once been in the same situation. If his father had been any different, Fíli might have lost the most precious thing in his life even sooner. All those wonderful memories that were now carrying an ache of sorrow would’ve been taken from him in such a case. And Fíli was to the same amount grateful as he was angry about it. The pain wouldn’t have been so intense, but he also never would’ve wanted to miss out on even one moment.

The blond suppressed the urge to reach for the beads in his hair.

“You are invited for dinner on your free day,” Dwalin yanked him out of his thoughts.

Fíli shot him a surprised glanced, but the bald dwarf wasn’t looking at him, but keeping an eye on Kíli and his suitors.

“I hope you aren’t cooking,” Fíli replied with a smirk.

Dwalin snorted. “Just for your information, my mutton stew is delicious.”

“Of course it is,” the blond agreed teasingly, educing a chuckle from Dwalin.

“No, Balin is cooking. Already forbid me to set a foot into the kitchen.”

“Probably because he remembered the last time you cooked,” he said while watching Kíli giving his first bead away, to a young lad with a bushy red beard.

“Your father enjoyed my cooking, he ate three bowls.”

“And he was undisposed for the next two days.”

Thorin had truly looked poorly for a while afterwards, but still Fíli remembered those days fondly. His father often had this sad expression and with the burden of kingship on his shoulders and a son to raise all by himself, Fíli had already understood at a very young age that the kings happiness was reduced to special occasions. The day Fíli received his first sword, Balin’s and Dwalin’s rare visits, the day Fíli came of age and when he was informed a wedding needed to be planned. These were the days the prince had seen his father laugh openly, let go of the tension in his body and just enjoy himself and his company.

A barking laughter erupted from Dwalin’s throat, almost drowning under the voices and the music filling the hall with a jumble of noises. Thorin’s friend grasped one of his shoulders and squeezed it gently.

“It’s good to have you here, laddie.”

Perhaps filling the position of Kíli’s bodyguard wasn’t easy or even a pleasant task, but Fíli had to admit, it was great to see Dwalin and Balin again. Even though he had the suspicion Thorin had asked Balin to have an eye on him and that was why he was invited to dinner so soon, despite the bald dwarf standing at his side at the moment and having his back. He couldn’t really fault his father, Fíli had worried him greatly for quite some time, after all.

“It is,” he admitted therefore with a small smile, before the both of them turned their attention back to the interaction between Kíli and his suitors.

In the end the brunet gave all of his beads away and accepted the minimum of five, offered by other alphas. It was going to be some busy months, but by the look of it Balin was already occupied with planning all meetings between Kíli and the fifteen alphas he had chosen, if the young scribe that followed him around by now, scribbling hurriedly on a piece of parchment, was anything to go by.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“What’s going on here, Fíli?”_

_The omega stared with confused, wide eyes at the dinner displaying on the table in front of him. He didn’t know what the alpha had planned, thought they were both on duty at the gate tonight and this was why the alpha had asked him to pick him up, to head there together. Instead their evening was completely free._

_“I’ve got something to ask,” Fíli replied, nervously playing with the beads in one of the pockets of his waistcoat._

_“Okay?” the other murmured, by the sound of his voice still trying to comprehend what was going on._

_“I went to your parents today, while you were out and asked them for their blessings. I didn’t want to do this without their support.”_

_“Blessing…” the omega repeated, before a hint of recognition crept to his features. “Fíli,” he breathed softly._

_The prince took it as a sign to continue, as a sign he wouldn’t meet rejection at the end of his plan, for if any would’ve come, the other dwarf would’ve uttered it by now. Pulling the beads out of his pocket the prince gently took one of the omega’s hands into his and placed the jewellery in it._

_“Frerin,” he began. “Would you bestow me with the honour to enter the bond of marriage with me?”_

_The omega gasped, staring at the beads in his hands with a watery smile before wrapping his fingers around them and pulling his hands to his chest, as if to stop an invisible force from taking them from him again._

_“Yes… of course…” Frerin whispered, barely audible but Fíli was still able to understand every little syllable. “I love you, Fíli. There is no greater honour than becoming your betrothed.”_

_The bright smile settling on Fíli’s lips hurt his cheeks, accompanied by relieved laughter, and by the time Frerin had finished, the blond couldn’t help but kiss his now betrothed breathless, immediately feeling the other’s arms coming up around him and pulling him close. Fíli’s heart fluttered with joy and excitement, knowing that this,_ them _, was made for the rest of their lives filled him with so much warmth, it surprised him he wasn’t melting from it. He wanted to dance, to laugh, to scream to the world he was engaged, to take a look at his wonderful One and the wonderful future they were going to build together. Right now, everything was just perfect._

_“Fíli?” Frerin panted against his lips, when they broke the kiss some time later._

_“Yes?” he asked, even after all those years loving the way the omega felt in his arms, soft and solid, warm and strong, simply right, as if their bodies were made to fit together. Which wasn’t such a far-fetched thought, considering the prince was certain to have found his One in Frerin._

_“Will you braid the beads into my hair?”_

_“There is nothing I would like to do more,” Fíli told him with a smile._

 

 


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli has the first date with a suitor and Fíli enjoys his first day off.

 

 

Kíli met one of the first suitors already on the next day. His name was Arik and he was already waiting at the foot to the staircase leading up the royal wing. His long, black hair was pulled over the back of his head and elaborately braided. In comparison his beard looked almost boring with the way it simply fell to his collar bone, – although there was probably no beard that could look more uninteresting than Kíli’s stubbles, –  but despite the lack of beads and braids, the trimmed sides of the beard and section around Arik’s mouth still gave it a neat appearance. This, compared with the expensive clothes he was wearing, caused him to look much more presentable than Kíli.

Arik bowed at the prince’s arrival and offered the lad his arm, which the omega took after a moment of hesitation. No attention was paid to the guards, which was how it should be. Fíli and Dwalin were only there for Kíli’s protection and not supposed to interfere the courting in any way.

Therefore they followed the pair in a little distance, close enough to act immediately in the worst case, but with a decent distance to prevent themselves from breathing down their necks. The market wasn’t as crowded as Fíli had feared today, although the alpha didn’t have any knowledge to compare it with.  He hadn’t been given the time to explore many places of the Iron Hills so far and could only match it with Erebor, where on busy market days one or two dwarflings would usually go missing. Thankfully no one was ever really hurt, but it spoke volumes of the mass of people running errands.

Here things seemed to be much calmer. Walking around wasn’t a hassle and not many dwarves surrounded the different stalls and allowed anyone, interested in their goods, access.

“So, since it’s my first time visiting these parts of the Iron Hills, perhaps you can show me around a bit?” Arik suggested, one of his arms still linked with Kíli, while walking beside the brunet. His posture was formidable and spoke of a skilled fighter as well as of a dwarf coming from a respectable home.

Kíli seemed to tense in his hold. Fíli suspected that the reason behind this reaction was the act the brunet tried to maintain, succumbing to his typically anger in the presence of his suitors would ruin all his attempts to find a betrothed. The blond alpha couldn’t help but clench his fists, supressing the disgust welling up inside him faced with Kíli’s deceitful charade.

“I don’t really know my way around the higher markets, I… uh… don’t come here very often.”

At this Arik looked at the omega at his side with excitement shining in his eyes, smiling brightly at him.

“Oh! Well, then this is the perfect opportunity to find out together!” he told the brunet.

Kíli glanced at the other with surprise, before a smile crept to his features as well.

“I would like that very much,” he agreed softly, nodding at the idea.

The higher markets? Well, that explained the lack of a great crowd Fíli was used to. The difference between poor and rich was far more prominent in the Iron Hills, whereas Erebor was such a wealthy kingdom even miners could afford running their errands at the same markets as the dwarven lords.

The pair stopped at the stall of a tailor, inspecting the beautiful fabric and talking lively to one another to which Fíli tried not to listen too much. Instead he followed Dwalin’s example and kept himself busy with checking the dwarves wandering over the market and ensuring there wasn’t any possible threat near them.

Everything looked fine, as far as Fíli could see. Dwarflings were playing, paying hardly any attention to their parents running errands or chatting with the vendors. Laughter and the soft buzzing of voiced filled the air. Even though they were below the protection of the stone it was a warm day, the summer still raging outside and would only slowly change into autumn in the following weeks. It reminded him of those days he and Frerin would sneak out of the mountain, riding down to the lake, not carrying for guards or to act proper. They would stay until the sun went down, swimming, wrestling, kissing and laughing until their lungs almost burst.

Fíli swallowed hard, willing the sight of Frerin’s smiling face from his mind. Taking a few deep breaths the blond was able to overcome the wave of sorrow that attempted to drown him, while Kíli and his suitor went on to the next stall. He needed to work harder to push these thoughts away, losing it on his duty couldn’t only endanger Kíli’s life, but would fill him with more guilt than he was already feeling.

Concentrating his whole attention on the dwarves on the market once again, it was then that Fíli noticed the dwarrowdam. She wasn’t wearing anything special that set her apart from the other people visiting the market, what put Fíli off about her was that she didn’t go to any stall, wasn’t looking at the goods offered for sale and cast strange glances at the prince and his suitor.

Fíli didn’t think anything of it at first, perhaps it was simply the first time she caught a glance at the prince. It had happened to him, dwarves idolising him because of his position and following him around for a little while before they needed to get back to their business. He still decided to keep an eye on her and the longer Fíli watched her, the more uncomfortableness settled in his stomach.

She would walk to bring some distance between them and stop again, wait up for them to come closer once more and stare openly at them, looking around to ensure no one was paying her attention and acting so obvious Fíli was surprised Dwalin hadn’t noticed her so far, making him almost wonder if he was simply seeing things and that the dwarrowdam wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. But then she noticed his eyes on her, yanking her from whatever thought she was chasing.

This was the last Fíli saw of her on that day, her reaction telling him quite plainly that he wasn’t imagining things, that she’d truly followed Kíli, and with a sudden surge of alertness he realised Dáin’s demand, for a personal bodyguard to protect his nephew during the courtship feast, was more than justified. It wasn’t only to prevent his nephew from lying with the first alpha making eyes at him, but because there seemed truly people eager to hurt Kíli. Although Fíli could partly understand it with the way the brunet behaved most of the time, violence would still never be the right way to get someone to understand the wrongness of their ways.

Automatically Fíli felt himself moving a bit closer to the pair, feeling slightly paranoid now and like someone could sneak up on these two at any second.

“You should try this one,” he could hear Arik say, where the pair was standing at the stall of a gold smith now.

Kíli frowned at the necklace, holding a bordered topaz, examining it doubtfully by turning it over in his hand.

“Are you sure?”

Arik simply smiled and gently took the necklace from Kíli, before tying it around the prince’s neck. Afterwards he took a step back and looked him over.

“It underlines your beautiful eyes.”

“Really?” the brunet asked with surprise gracing his features.

“You are a very handsome man and this stone is only accentuating it,” Arik told the omega kindly, words that caused Kíli to blush. “I will take this one!” the alpha addressed the smith and brought a little bag of coins to light.

The brunet’s eyes widened at this exclamation. “Oh, no! You really don’t have to do this! It’s fine!”

Arik, however, merely shook his head with a smile. “I want to. I’m having a really lovely time with you.”

Fíli suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at their conversation, wondering if he and Frerin had acted the same way or if his view was perhaps biased by his dislike of Kíli. Since he’d seen the prince’s other side it was hard to understand how anyone could like him, let alone fall for his charade. Although Fíli assumed he would think Kíli a well-behaved lad as well, if it wasn’t for what he’d already witnessed. It still felt wrong watching silently how the prince deceived a gullible alpha.

The remaining time of the meeting went by uneventfully. Arik and Kíli seemed to get along well and the strange woman didn’t show up again. And the same could be said for the following days, Fíli fulfilled the duty as Kíli’s bodyguard with Dwalin at his side. Because of the courtship feast and all those appointments with the alphas, the brunet wasn’t even given the time to throw a tantrum like the other days. There were still snarky remarks and rants and insults uttered from time to time, but it was so few, the blond was almost able to forget what a terrible character hid behind Kíli’s innocent mask, when he once again met up with an alpha for the day.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On his free day Fíli got up very early. Since he was supposed to join Balin and Dwalin for dinner, he wanted to make good of the time to explore the Iron Hills – and he also wanted to get out of the chambers before Kíli would awake and ruin his rather cheerful mood.

This time Fíli went to the market himself. He needed parchment, a quill and ink to write his father and even though he knew Balin would’ve provided him with everything he needed, if he asked, the blond was fond of his independence. Fíli stayed away from the stalls of the vendors, though, knowing that they only held a small part of their products and that he would’ve higher chances of finding what he needed if he stepped into the actual shop.

He was surprised, nevertheless, when he entered the shop and spotted a familiar face. It was the dwarf engaged to take care of the decoration for the courtship feast, the dwarf Kíli had treated like an insect. The place Fíli had stepped into was more than just a shop for writing utensils, although they filled a very large section. Still, his business was so much more. There were carpets and teapots and all kinds of decorative objects to make a home more comfy. At the counter Fíli could even spot a steaming teapot, located not very far from a seating area with comfortable looking armchairs. This was probably the place, where the dwarf would sit down with his costumers and enjoy a cup of tea, while talking with them about their ideas regarding decorations.

It was such a nice and warm shop, Fíli knew immediately he’d went to the right vendor.

The dwarf, whose name turned out to be Dori, greeted him with a friendly smile, obviously not drawing the connection between the blond and the prince, or if he did, he didn’t show it. It took only a couple of minutes for Fíli to receive everything he was looking for, making a mental note to return to this place on another day, to taste one of Dori’s teas that smelled so amazing. Although it would have to wait for a day he hadn’t so many things in mind he needed to do. After all, Fíli still had to look for the aviary, sending letters was easier when carried by a raven, it was even easier if the ravens were able to talk, but not all of them belonged to the same race as Roäc in Erebor did and therefore scrolls of parchment needed to do for now.

He also wanted to have a look at the mines, perhaps there was something Erebor could learn with regards to safety, and he had heard many good things about the local library, Fíli truly needed to refresh his knowledge about the Iron Hills and hoped to find a helpful map there as well. On the next day it would be on him to ensure Kíli would reach his destination without any delay or sights of trouble. Studying some basic routes couldn’t hurt, therefore.

At lunch time and after his visit of the mines, Fíli ate in a little tavern in the poorer parts of the Iron Hills, where he, to his great surprise, spotted the dwarrowdam he’d noticed during Kíli’s and Arik’s courting day on the market, serving along with a young omega. So far she hadn’t realised his presence, was far too busy with all the miners having finished a shift and hoping for a warm meal and Fíli didn’t intend on calling attention to himself. Instead memorised the tavern, satisfied that he now knew where to look for her, should she catch his eye in a worrisome way once again.

Afterwards he went to the library, the young scribe he’d seen at Balin’s side during the beginning of the courtship feast, the one to show him the maps he was looking for. And before Fíli knew it, evening had already approached and he found himself in front of Balin’s chambers.

The blond needed to knock only once for the older dwarf to show up at the door, with certainty having only waited for his arrival and asked him in. Dwalin had set the table, but his older brother didn’t seem to approve, since he changed it as soon as the bald dwarf disappeared into the kitchen to grab Fíli an ale. Fíli chuckled at Dwalin’s feigned outrage, when he returned and realised what Balin had done. They chatted a bit, while Balin was busy with the last preparations, learning without asking that some other guard was currently with Kíli and ensuring his safety. As far as Fíli knew this was usually Dwalin’s duty, when Fíli was enjoying his free day. The blond hurriedly changed the subject, though, Kíli was truly the last thing he wanted to be reminded of at the moment. This was thankfully also the moment Balin decided to serve the food.

Dwalin immediately began with loading food onto his plate, whereas Fíli bestirred himself with passing the bowls around and filling his and Balin’s plate with whatever came his way.

The pheasant was delicious and Fíli enjoyed the dinner in such a great company. Eating all by himself, with the prospect of seeing Kíli all day, hadn’t really turned meal times into such pleasant occasions. This was much better, Balin’s gentle presence, something every beta seemed to radiate, made Fíli feel at home, even though he had no desire to stay longer in the Iron Hills than necessary.

“So, how was your first week?” Balin asked eventually.

Fíli frowned. Hadn’t he heard everything about it through Dwalin already? After the nice little chat they had shared so far, dessert all of a sudden didn’t look anymore that appealing. He had hoped to enjoy this day without thinking too much about Kíli and his duty and now here they were, although Fíli assumed Balin simply worried. As a beta his chances of having his own little family had always been very low, only alphas and omegas were able to sire children and the population of female dwarves had always been rather low. Not many of them married a beta, if they married at all and didn’t want to dedicate their lives in their craft. So with that in mind Balin had done his best to be a great uncle to him and Fíli couldn’t really complain about it, besides, it was nice to know that even here were people that worried about him, whether or not the blond deemed their worries justified.

“It went alright,” Fíli therefore answered vaguely, avoiding eye contact with staring at the pudding in front of him and poking at it with his spoon.

“And Kíli hasn’t given you a hard time? For Fíli, if he did. I can talk to him,” Balin added, a bit more sternly this time.

The blond almost chuckled. He didn’t need anyone to fight his own battles. Yes, Kíli was rude and unfair and quite terrible, but that was it. Fíli simply needed to ignore this kind of behaviour, Balin truly didn’t have to intervene and besides…

“I don’t think talking to him would help in any way,” Fíli told the other dwarf, glancing at him with a small smile.

Balin sighed, while Dwalin remained strangely silent since they had begun to talk about Kíli.

“You are probably right, but it would do him good to know that his behaviour isn’t appropriate.”

Appropriate was vigorously understated, in Fíli’s opinion.

“I’m fine, Balin. You really don’t need to worry about me and you can tell my father the same,” he added with a smirk, guessing that there was most likely more than one reason for the beta to start such a conversation.

The other dwarf chuckled, but his mirth wasn’t lasting very long.

“There is something else,” Balin said sadly.

An uneasy feeling settled in Fíli’s stomach, causing him to put the spoon aside and to turn on his seat to face Balin completely. His expression didn’t really help to chase away the dread attacking him all of a sudden.

“I never had the chance to express my condolences. I’m so very sorry that this had to happen to your betrothed.”

The tears were there before Fíli was given any opportunity to blink them away, which was why he hurriedly wiped over his eyes. The lump in his throat seemed so enormously he feared to choke on it any second. If he had thought the pain to have lessened, he was now reminded of it with a force that took his breath away. Months passing by and living here for a week had done nothing to heal his heart, it was still a bloody wound, pounding inside his chest and only screaming one name with every desperate beat.

Once Fíli had looked forward to introduce Frerin to Balin and Dwalin… it was a meeting that was never meant to be. The prince felt the old regret return to his mind. So many things he should’ve done differently, so many questions left unanswered, because he’d believed to have all the time in the world with his omega. He had been young and foolish… of course Fíli had never met his other parent, so there was already a loss in his family, but with the ignorance came the lack of hurt… the lack of _missing_ and when Fíli was finally confronted with it, it had turned his world upside down. In his young naiveté Fíli had believed them to be invulnerable, like nothing could harm them. He’d never been so wrong.

Now his body hadn’t aged much, but his mind felt decades older, burdened with a pain he wished he could cut out of his flesh.

“He… ah… he did what he felt was the right thing,” his voice was a quivering mess, just like Fíli himself. “He saved many lives that day.”

Frerin was a hero, someone the people of Erebor were proud of. Fíli wasn’t. He would’ve taken a coward ten times over a hero, for a coward would still be with him. Although Frerin’s bravery was what made Frerin _Frerin_ , if he wasn’t who he was, Fíli might have never fallen in love with him in the first place… damned dilemmas…

From one moment to another a forehead pressed against his and a part of the sorrow inside him melted under the intimate comfort Balin offered him. Not much later a hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing softly and telling him he wasn’t only having the beta’s, but also Dwalin’s support.

“I’m sorry I have reopened that wound,” Balin apologised sincerely.

Shaking his head against the other’s forehead, Fíli denied it.

“It’s fine. I have to face it if I want that wound to heal, don’t I?” It sounded far more optimistic than he actually felt. He didn’t believe it would lessen any time soon, if it ever would.

The rest of the evening passed in a strange mood. Still, Fíli had to admit it was kind of nice to know Balin and Dwalin would be there for him, if he was in need of companionship and understanding.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The guard, protecting Kíli, had already left by the time Fíli returned, since at night the guards patrolling in the royal wing were deemed capable enough to ensure the safety of the prince. After all, the guard looking after Kíli during the day had certainly made sure that the prince’s chambers were safe.

It was quiet inside and Fíli was tired, so following storing his stuff in his room, the blond went to the bathroom, hurriedly taking care of some business, intending to go to sleep not much later. Just when he stepped out again, his body just heating up again from where he’d washed and where the air had cooled it, Fíli spotted a hooded figure in the room.

The first shock lasted only for a second and Fíli didn’t waste time with thinking how anyone could’ve come in here with the guards patrolling outside, or if the figure had been here the whole time, while Fíli had went about everything without realising something was wrong. Instead he tackled the person to the ground, causing the stranger to cry out at the impact.

They fell to the ground together, the sound smothered by the carpet. The figure fought him without rhyme or reason, dealing blows Fíli could easily block and which couldn’t do more than knocking a chair over and cause books on the table to topple down. But he struggled under him with so much force that the blond had a hard time to grasp for his hands and pin him to the ground.

He was sitting on the figures hips, when he was finally able to fixate the person’s writs on the ground, at the same time as the hood slipped, revealing the face of a far too familiar dwarf. Fíli blinked down at him dumbfounded for a few seconds, while Kíli under him still tried to struggle, even though every attempt was in vain, growling lowly in his throat and glaring up at him.

“What’s all this about?” Fíli hissed down at him, feeling wide awake because of the first shock, the anger surging through him not helping in any way.

“Get off me!” Kíli demanded, buckling his hips in an attempt to cast him off. The blond, however, had found quite a steady position, so everything the prince tried was doomed to failure.

“Not before you tell me, what you were trying to do,” he insisted.

“I am the prince!”

“And I am your guard! So frankly, I don’t care what you are, when you complicate my job!”

Fíli was so sick of Kíli’s shit. What exactly was the plan behind all this? Sneaking out? At this time? To meet up with an alpha? To run away because he didn’t get his way with the decoration in the ceremonial hall? He was an egoistic, cruel child, whose explanations could only be stupid or self-centred. He truly didn’t understand how Dáin could put up with someone like him in his linage. Why he hadn’t already taught him to behave better. Even with an alpha at Kíli’s side - if anyone fell for his act in the end - how did the king imagine the Iron Hills would fare with Kíli at the side of their ruler? With every passing day it felt more and more like a joke, a joke that wasn’t funny at all but very worrisome.

“Let me go, you damn idiot! I command you!” Kíli nagged.

That was it. That was enough. Fíli might be there for his protection, but no one had forbidden him to go more forceful about it. And if Kíli wasn’t willing to act in the interest of his own safety, his guard would take care of it. With a swift movement Fíli got up from Kíli’s hip and rolled the brunet onto his stomach, tying his hands to his back with using his own to hold them in place.

The brunet tried to kick, but only hit thin air, spluttering unwilling protests in the meantime. Fíli didn’t even bat an eye, pulled Kíli onto his feet and forced him towards his room. The brunet struggled another two times, until he finally seemed to realise that he wasn’t standing a chance against Fíli, with the grip he had on him.

The room was dark, but with the light coming from the candles in the living room and falling inside through the open door, Fíli could spot the silhouette of a bed. Pushing Kíli onto it, he leaned over him, pressing him into the pillows and sheets and waited. He wouldn’t take the risk and simply get up, just to have Kíli trying to run past him or perhaps attacking him again. Even though his struggles had been quite uncoordinated, the right blow, hitting the right spot, could still be dangerous, let alone hurt like crazy.

So instead the blond held him down, until he was certain Kíli had finally calmed and then he counted very slowly to one hundred.

“I will get up now and if you try anything, I swear I will tie you to that bed and will leave you until tomorrow morning. It’s my duty to ensure you don’t get hurt and if I can only do my duty in tying you up, then I will do so, do you understand me?” he addressed the brunet sternly, the anger throbbing through his veins had only barely lessened.

When no answer came Fíli shook the prince.

“Did you understand me?” he demanded once more to know.

“Yes,” came the small reply, almost too quiet for the blond to hear, hadn’t it been otherwise quite in the room and he listened for it.

“Good,” Fíli replied, before slowly letting go of Kíli.

The brunet lay completely still and only when the guard had taken a few steps back, did he scramble to the middle of the bed, his shadow curling up into a ball. Fíli almost felt a hint of guilt shooting through him. Being feared wasn’t something Fíli aimed for, but he soothed himself that Kíli deserved such a lesson, to be pointed out that his behaviour wasn’t tolerated. Therefore the blond simply squared his shoulders and walked out of the room, reaching for the key and locking the door. Just in case Kíli thought about running at night once more.

Tomorrow Fíli had to be focussed, since he had to serve as Kíli’s only bodyguard, he didn’t need to worry the whole night about whether or not the brunet would try to sneak out again. It would be better that way, Fíli would be refreshed on the next morning to ensure the prince’s safety around others and Kíli couldn’t get out of his room to do something stupid. Under different circumstances Fíli might’ve felt guilty about what he was doing, as it was however, he couldn’t bring himself to spare any pity for Kíli.

 

 


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More questions are raised.

 

 

_“Excuse me, can you help me, I’m looking for a book about smithing Mithril,” a voice addressed Fíli, who was about putting books back into the shelves after he’d read them for his homework._

_Surprised, the blond turned around, wondering how anyone could think he knew his way around here, without the librarian Fíli would be pretty lost himself. The library of Erebor was one of the biggest in all the dwarven realms, stretching over seven levels in the form of an open gallery, reaching so high in the air his neck would start hurting from looking up for too long. Behind him stood a young dwarf about his age, dark hair braided with four silver beads and beard just coming in on his cheeks._

_Glancing around Fíli tried to figure out if perhaps he wasn’t asked after all, but this part of the library was deserted, save for the two of them._

_“Uhh, no, sorry. I’m easily getting lost here, too.”_

_The other dwarf frowned at that._

_“Aren’t you working here?” he carefully wanted to know, drawing an amused laugh from Fíli’s throat._

_“No, I’m just returning these books, the librarian is pretty strict when it comes to things like that.”_

_At that a blush crept to the young dwarves face._

_“Oh, I’m so sorry, I thought you… I…,” he stammered, clear signs of uncomfortableness creeping to his features._

_Jumping off one of the lower rungs of the ladder, the blond landed beside the other dwarf._

_“It’s fine!” he reassured the other. “Fíli, at your service.” He afterwards introduced himself with a bow._

_The other, if even possible, looked now even more embarrassed and paled, when he recognised the name and the heritage it belonged to._

_“I’m so sorry, my prince.”_

_“Now, none of that! I’m a dwarf as every other. So, I’m Fíli and who are you?”_

_The kind smile he gifted the other lad seemed to do the trick, for his eyes were lightening up a bit and the colour slowly seeped back into his pale cheeks._

_“Frerin, at your service.”_

 

* * *

 

 

 

On the next day Kíli was strangely quiet, sitting on his bed, as far away from the door and Fíli as possible, when the alpha unlocked it in the early morning hours. Although the blond wasn’t given the time to feel guilty about scaring someone, even if this someone was Kíli, of all people, for after the next day Kíli had gotten up far more early than him and instructed that no food was to be served for Fíli. It was ridiculous and childish and filled him with a new sense of annoyance that always came over him as soon as he spotted the brunet.

This issue was very easy to sort out, though. Fíli simply got up sooner and ordered breakfast to be brought for him as well. Kíli’s lack of insults directed towards him ended after barely a day. The prince had, however, developed a certain amount of distance between them, whenever he threw another snarky comment at Fíli, as if to stay out of the reach of a blow. At least it showed Fíli for the first time that Kíli seemed to be somehow aware that his behaviour was in no way justified and terrible at most, if he expected to be struck.

It kind of made it even worse that Kíli possessed the awareness of understanding that what he was doing was wrong and choose to do it anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The lord Kíli was supposed to meet today, had obviously decided to make a show out of his skill with his axe or sword or whatever weapon he preferred, since this courting day would take place at the trainings field. Fíli knew dwarves like that, it wasn't unusual to meet at such a place for a courtship feast, but more often than not the alphas were going to try to impress the omegas with their skill. It went without saying that most omegas weren't impressed at all, for in Erebor they knew very well how to bear arms. Omegas were proud, just as proud as every other dwarf and therefore there had never been an omega to choose such an alpha, at least if the man didn't manage to redeem himself during the next dates.

Fíli had no idea if Kíli was the kind to person to fall for such a display of cockiness, but if he was honest with himself, he didn't really care. After everything he had already seen, he would simply be relieved if the time to be constantly at his side would be over. He didn't care if the omega found an alpha that made him happy or not. Whatever would happen, he'd brought it on himself and being taught a little lesson couldn't be that wrong with the behaviour he evinced.

The training fields were occupied with many dwarves. Young and old, training in separate groups with swords, warhammers, axes, spears and knives. It was loud when weapons clashed together, regardless if it were wooden versions for the children or real ones, made of steal. In the whole hall that acted as a place of learning, there was heavy panting and cries of a starting attack.

Fíli looked around with interest. This place was completely different to what he knew from Erebor, where all the different areas of weapon training were marked-off from one another, whereas here it seemed all gathered in one big hall. The blond was surprised to find no archery range, the longer his eyes roamed over the field and the more they could take in. This was very strange in his opinion. They had dwarves throwing axes and knives in one corner of the hall, but no axe and no knife or dagger could ever fly as far as an arrow released from a string. It seemed like a great mistake in regards of the defence of the Iron Hills, if what this place indicated was the truth; that no bows and crossbows were part of the weapon training. Even Fíli, who didn't claim the bow to be his favourite, knew how to use one and understood its usefulness.

However, this wasn't the only thing he realised after a while of observing the training fields. His nose, so used to the mixed smell of alphas, betas and omegas in big crowds like this, could only pick up the smell of one omega and this was Kíli, standing right beside him. Fíli furrowed his brow, he might be not as well informed about the traditions of the Iron Hills, as he was about Erebor's, but he had always thought they were all equal here as well - after all, he was able to spot a few women training here. But the closer he looked, the more he noticed little signs at the dwarves clothing, telling him the people training here were part of the high society of the Iron Hills.

So perhaps he would find omegas of the lower classes train with alphas and betas in other parts of this realm? It seemed only the lords didn't want their omegas to train, which Fíli thought was ridiculous. What use was a well-trained protection for them, if they died during an attack? The omegas would be slaughtered without any chance of resistance. It was selfish and cruel, for even though it was peaceful at the moment, their world wasn't suddenly any less dangerous and omegas should be able to defend themselves, if need be. If nothing else, this ought to be the reason to train them as well.

It seemed there was still a lot he didn't understand about the Iron Hills' traditions. Although, there wasn't anything he could do about it. He might be a prince, but this place wasn't his kingdom, he was only a guest, tolerated as a bodyguard because no one besides Balin and Dwalin had knowledge of his heritage. It still surprised him somewhat that Dáin hadn't drawn the connection yet, maybe he was still too lost in his grief after losing his son. Fíli couldn't say he blamed him for mourning so deeply.

He was yanked from his thoughts, when he noticed Kíli darting glances towards the entrance of the hall. Fíli didn’t need long to figure out what was going on. They had arrived here some time ago and the alpha supposed to meet the brunet here was nowhere to be seen, although they had been right on time. That was very strange for a person involved in a courtship feast. Punctuality was important to prove to the intended their interest. A courtship feast was a time of highly respected traditions. There was enough time for delays after the feast.

Fíli frowned, while he tried to remember if the suitor of today was one of those that had given Kíli a bead or the other way round. Either way, it was rude and unwelcome to stand someone up for a date during a courtship feast, since every party in such a feast was allowed to refuse an offered bead if the intended turned out to be not to their liking. Only the intended had to accept at least a few beads, so the planning of the feast wasn’t all for naught in the end.

The longer they waited, though, the more it became obvious that the other dwarf wasn’t going to show up and although Fíli didn’t like Kíli, he didn’t appreciate what the missing alpha was doing. There should’ve been enough decency to refuse, instead of letting them wait here in vain for everyone to see.

The omega let out a disgruntled gasp, before he suddenly stalked towards the armoury at the other end of the room. Fíli followed him hurriedly, inwardly already preparing himself for another fit that seemed never long in coming with Kíli, which was strange if one thought about it a bit more thoroughly. Usually it were alphas having troubles to control their anger, also it got easier the more time went by. Fíli probably had given his father quite a hard time after presenting, helplessly searching for a target to turn his anger to. It had taken a while and he’d needed to practise some techniques to stay calm, but all the work had been worth it. Fíli had internalised them so much that calming down was an automated process by now, he didn’t even really need to think about most of the time. Fíli found himself briefly wondering if Kíli, as an omega, might be simply lacking this knowledge and was therefore unable to control himself, but as soon as the thought had crossed his mind it was already forgotten, when Kíli was stopped in his march by the dwarf guarding the armoury.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Fíli could hear the dwarf ask.

“What does it look like?” Kíli hissed. “Step aside, I want to grab my bow.”

Fíli wasn’t able to hide his surprise in time, even though no one was paying him any mind, the two dwarves in front of him too busy snarling at each other. Kíli knew how to use a bow? How? There wasn’t an archery range here or did the archers train somewhere else? And if so, why was that, when the all the other people did their weapon training here? And what about the missing omegas in the hall?

“You know very well that you are forbidden to use a weapon. King’s orders!” the guard growled.

“I don’t care! As your prince, I demand to be handed my bow!” Kíli pressed as he clenched his fists.

“Go home, my prince. This isn’t a place for people unfit to fight.”

Fíli felt as if he’d been punched. He might not like the prince, not in the slightest, but still there were some lines that should never be crossed. _Unfit to fight_. It was the worst insult among dwarves. A dwarf that wasn’t battle ready was either a child or no good for their community. It wasn’t something that was supposed to be said, ever. Fíli had only heard this insult once, directed at a person he’d loved dearly, which had ended for the one with the big mouth to lose some of their teeth. Every dwarf knew the character of those words, but usually not many uttered them with spite. It hit home in a way the blond hadn’t expected and he even caught himself feeling sorry for Kíli, for regardless of how terrible the brunet acted, not even _he_ had dared to use this insult.

The omega tensed at the words, his fists shaking, perhaps with another surge of anger. Then, all of a sudden, Kíli moved, trying to shove the guard away to step into the armoury. The dwarf looked completely unfazed at the attempt in his heavy armour and just grabbed Kíli roughly by his shoulders, pushing him back so hard he stumbled against Fíli. The blond’s arms wrapped around his waist on instinct, the only thing that kept him upright. The omega brought a safe distance between them as soon as he’d found his balance again, though, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“You better get lost,” the guard spat. “Before I inform the king of your attempts to break his rules again.”

Fíli expected a tantrum to follow, in his opinion it would even be partly justified, considering how this guard was talking to his prince. Thorin would never allow anyone to speak to his son like that, no matter what he might have done or how he’d acted. But instead Kíli turned around jerkily, heading for the exit and causing Fíli to hurry after him once again.

They reached the prince’s chambers in record time, where Kíli struggled out of his waistcoat, tugging violently at the leathern fabric that Fíli believed it might tear any time. It didn’t, the brunet got out and threw it forcefully at the back of a chair, hard enough for the piece of furniture to fall over. The prince ignored it, simply yanking the hair slide out of his dark mane and smashing it to the floor. Fíli could literally listen to the clasp break at the impact.

Kíli left it there, retrieving to his room and loudly throwing the door shut, leaving the blond to clean up his mess. This time Fíli couldn’t even be really annoyed at Kíli’s antics, since the insult still sat like a hot stone his stomach, causing him to relive old memories.

 

* * *

 

 

 

_"What were you thinking?" Thorin growled, pacing back and forth in front of him, where Fíli sat on a chair in a chamber of the healing quarters._

_On the other side of the room Óin was busy with treating Frerin, sitting on the cot._

_"This is no behaviour for a prince of Erebor!"_

_"But adad!" the blond immediately protested. "He insulted Frerin!"_

_Thorin shook his head in disappointment, causing Fíli's insides to ravel into a painful knot._

_"He claimed Frerin is unfit for a fight," Fíli added desperately, knowing that this situation was how Thorin and his betrothed had met once. There were many stories of Thorin standing up for the omega, while everyone else was merely watching._

_And it wasn’t looking like it failed to have the desired effect, for the king stopped dead in his tracks, examining the prince's features as if to ponder about if he was lying. In the end, he knew his son and spotted the truth in his words and a deep sigh escaped his throat._

_"Ouch!" Frerin hissed from somewhere behind him, Fíli suppressed the urge to turn around and make sure the other was alright. Not when he was talking not simply to his father right now, but the king of Erebor, who had to interrogate the blond about the incident that had been reported._

_"If you don't hold still, it will hurt even more," Óin scolded him and if Fíli wouldn't trust the old healer with his life, his protective instincts would've flared up._

_"Then you should've let Frerin fight his battles alone," Thorin finally replied._

_"I did!" Fíli exclaimed hurriedly, noticing almost instantly how his father raised his brows in disbelief._

_"Don't lie to me! There are dwarves testifying your involvement," his father told him sternly._

_"I'm telling the truth!" Fíli added, before his voice could take on a sheepish tone. "I simply secured the culprit so Frerin could hit him better.”_

_It didn't really help his matters and in the end he was still punished with cleaning the stables of the rams for a whole week, followed by the warning that Frerin's parents would be informed about the incident as well. However, Fíli wasn't regretting what he did in the slightest. Dwarves were fighters and someone, who would use the worst insult their people knew, had to realise what might happen, if they uttered it. He wasn't going to apologise for standing up for his friend... or whatever it was he had begun to feel for the other._

_In the end, though, when Frerin had been sent home and Óin left the room to attend to another dwarf in need of treatment, Thorin suddenly placed a hand on Fíli's shoulder, squeezing it encouragingly._

_"I'm proud of you."_

 

 


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli learns something and Kíli makes someone cry.

 

 

"How come there aren't any omegas learning how to fight?" Fíli wondered.

He and Balin had met in the dwarves chambers on the next free day of the blond. The older dwarf had invited him to tea and while Balin was going over some documents, Fíli had decided to finally write his first letter to Thorin, informing him about his well-being and the impressions of the Iron Hills he'd gained so far.

"You mean on the trainings field, where you and Kíli were supposed to meet lord Gunar?" the other asked, looking up and taking a sip of his tea. Following Fíli's nod he continued: "Well, the omegas are important for noble families. If they can form good relations the families will benefit highly from it. Therefore omegas are supposed to learn everything they need to be the perfect husband, while it is in turn expected of the alphas to protect them if needed."

Fíli frowned. "But there were even women training, what's the difference?"

"They are probably a third or fourth child and the family is already blessed with an alpha- and omega-son. The siblings coming after them often are granted more freedom than the others, since the line is already secured in the best possible way."

"But that doesn't make any sense," he continued, putting the quill aside before he dropped ink onto the parchment. "If an omega is ever attacked on his own, he should be able to defend himself, not depend on his alpha all the time!"

Balin sighed.

“You need to understand that the Iron Hills aren’t Erebor and that not everyone shares the views of the noble dwarves. Poorer people, like miners and dwarves with other professions, people who know of the dangers surrounding them, because they are faced with them every day, they train their children and don’t make a distinction. But our folk can be stubborn and as long as it works and we have no losses to mourn, Dáin won’t change the tradition.”

“There is something you aren’t telling me,” Fíli realised, after listening to the other’s speech.

Kíli seemed to be quite confident to be capable of using a bow, so he must’ve had training. But this wasn’t making any sense if he kept in mind what Balin had told him about the traditions of the Iron Hills. There had only been Thorin Stonehelm, Dáin’s son and an alpha, which made Kíli his only omega heir. If the things were as Balin explained, however, Kíli shouldn’t know how to use a bow, should’ve been banned from training to begin with.

 “I know you are curious and want answers, especially since most of your lessons have been about Erebor, but you should also understand better than anyone else that I can’t simply go against the orders of my king.”

Fíli narrowed his eyes. He didn’t really like the tone of it, the way Balin tried discreetly to tell him to keep out of the things that didn’t concern him. But the old adviser was wrong this time. This concerned him, simply because it was his duty to keep Kíli safe. When Fíli would become king one day he couldn’t hope to deal all the time with respectful people. Some would be rude, some would be kind, some would be slimy and some would be hard to tolerate. His personal attitude towards them, however, never ought to be allowed to cloud his judgement; instead he would need to look at everything as impartial as possible, to come to the right decision. He simply had to look at his duty as Kíli’s guard as some sort of exercise.

Watching a guard, someone sworn to Kíli, insult him out in the open was wrong on so many levels and hard to comprehend. Of course, Fíli hadn’t forgotten that he’d lost his temper with the brunet as well, but it had never happened in front of nobility or other dwarves, save for Dwalin. Dwalin, though, was to be trusted. The blond couldn’t speak for any of the other people present on the training fields. Gossip travelled terribly fast and couldn’t be in Dáin’s interest.

It seemed all so very strange, but as much as he wanted to find out what was going on, if Balin wasn’t willing to tell him, then probably no one would. Fíli couldn’t say what frustrated him more, being left in the dark or those awful traditions the nobility of the Iron Hills followed. The library might be of help once again, and he still had enough time to pay it a visit today after he’d finished his tea at Balin’s. He just needed the right librarian to hint at the right books.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Books about the foundation of the Iron Hills’ settlements?" the young librarian, whose name turned out to be Ori - brother of Dori, who Fíli had already visited, and furthermore Balin's scribe, whenever the old dwarf was in need of one - gazed at him with surprise.

Fíli nodded. He'd already detected one about the royal line and was eager to read, but without help he couldn't find his way around so easily. The library was simply too big to figure out the way of how it was categorised.

"I'm a bit busy at the moment. There are many young dwarves that waited too long to write the requested essays for their teachers and now I'm basically running around and getting the books they need, so they can fetch them tomorrow," Ori continued, a hint of regret in his voice.

"That's no problem at all, there is no hurry," Fíli reassured the young dwarf, whose mood seemed to lighten up immediately.

"Oh, then I will look them up for you tomorrow and place them in my shelf," the redhead pointed to an empty shelf, behind his desk. "And you can fetch them, whenever you have the time!"

"That would be wonderful. Thank you, Ori."

Ori beamed, obviously delighted Fíli remembered his name, before he went back to his task. The blond searched for an empty table and sat down. Wasting no time and opening the book he'd spotted. It wasn't hard to find the family tree. Fíli almost laughed, when he detected his own name as Thorin's son, on a distant branch of the illustration. What did that make Kíli? His great-great-great-great-great-great-cousin? It didn't really matter, although Fíli had no idea if he should be amused or insulted that no one, not even Dáin, had been able to link Fíli's name to Thorin. There truly didn't seem anything important than their own kingdom. However, Fíli probably shouldn't talk; he wasn't a good example in this area either, with his basic knowledge of the traditions of the Iron Hills. Those were lessons he was supposed to take on, when he'd learned everything about Erebor and mastered his smithing as well as his swords.

Returning to his actual plan, his eyes turned to the main branch of the family tree. Dáin and Thorin Stonehelm were placed in the centre, of course. But try as he might, Fíli wasn't able to find Kíli's name. But if the brunet was the heir, he should be listed here. So why wasn't he?

And that was how Fíli took notice of the blackened spot beside Dáin, where a name seemed to have been erased. A brother or a sister perhaps? It was only briefly interesting.

Fíli leaned back in his chair, folding his arms in front of his chest, while his gaze wandered through the library as he tried to process the information. Kíli wasn't on here, even though he looked barely younger than Fíli himself and _he_ was on that genealogy. This wasn't making any sense, unless the brunet had deliberately been not included to this long list, naming his forefathers. This would make even less sense, though. Nobility was proud of their long list of descent, they wouldn't leave anyone out, if that person hadn't done something beyond expression and Kíli might be an arsehole, but he didn't look like a murder or the kind.

"Ori!" Fíli hissed, trying to keep his voice as low as possible, but still loud enough to catch the librarian's attention, as he was passing by.

Thankfully the young scribe had heard him and stopped beside his table, arm's loaded with books.

"Are there any areas, where young dwarves learn how to use a bow?" he wondered.

Ori frowned in confusion. "Why would there be? Archery is only for hunting."

He thanked Ori and let him go back to his task. Only for hunting... what was going on here? Fíli couldn't hope to receive answers from Balin or perhaps any other dwarf, since it seemed like the king had forbidden it. He had to find out on his own, if he wanted to know and he already learned of some of the pieces, he just wasn't able to put the puzzle together just yet.

When Fíli returned to the prince's chamber some time later, he opened the door to find a dwarrowdam crying. She was a young thing, probably only one of the maids and she crouched on the floor, trying to clean up a mess that was food and shattered pottery. Kíli's doing, no doubt.

The girl turned around with surprise and glanced at him with panic welling up in her red-rimmed eyes.

"I... I'm s-sorry, it...it was my f-fault. I... I'm cleaning up as f-fast as I c-can," she stammered, more tears running down her cheeks as she spoke. Who knew what Kíli had said to her, to turn her into such a scared mess.

Slowly Fíli bent down, reaching for her arms and feeling her flinch at his touch. Undeterred, he pulled her back up, smiling gently at her.

"Everything is alright. I will take care of this. You don't have to worry."

She seemed to sag slightly at this, relief and disbelief at his kindness balancing each other on her features.

"Thank you," she whispered, a soft sob erupting from her throat.

Fíli simply smiled, murmuring reassuring words as he led her out of the room. The girl thanked him once more, but by the time she had finally left, Fíli was fuming with anger.

Causing such a young lass to cry, a girl that hadn’t even looked of age yet, perhaps only working as a maid because her family was poor and wouldn’t know how to survive without another income... It was unacceptable. She had been only doing her job and no one deserved to be treated like Kíli treated everyone and everything.

Pushing the door to the brunet’s room open without knocking, Fíli marched inside, fists clenched. The prince was sitting in an overstuffed chair, nibbling at a piece of bread that seemed to be the only thing to have survived Kíli’s latest tantrum. The first surprise on the brunet’s features was soon hidden by a mask of budding anger, which couldn’t impress Fíli in the slightest. It hadn’t before and it wasn’t now, especially not with the kind of fury he was feeling himself.

“Get out of my room!” the prince barked immediately.

“I will,” Fíli growled, “and you will follow me and clean up that mess you created.”

“She can clean her mess up on her own,” Kíli replied coldly.

The blond took a step closer, a warning addressed to the omega, giving him a chance to get up on his own and do what he was told to.

“But it isn’t her mess, is it?” Fíli asked in a low voice, already knowing the answer. He had seen how much Kíli liked throwing things.

“She shouldn’t have brought _this_ soup,” was the hissed answer he received.

Gnashing his teeth, the blond barely suppressed the urge to bridge what little distance was still separating them to grab him by his arm and drag him to the shards. So this was about food? Somewhere else people went hungry and Kíli wasted soup, fish soup from the smell in the other room, just because it didn’t meet his taste? This was ridiculous and arrogant and selfish and childish, everything but a worthy behaviour for a prince.

“So you got angry, because you didn’t get your favourite food?” he mocked. He didn’t care anymore what was proper. This lad was lacking some serious skills regarding the right etiquette and if no one else was going to teach him, Fíli would make sure he learned. He was so sick of Kíli’s shit and he had a feeling that Dáin would welcome less modest treatment of his nephew.

“It’s not about favourite food, you idiot!” Kíli spat, the bread in his hands crumbling under the force of his grip. “That stuff makes me sick.”

Fíli almost laughed. “Oh yes, I see the difference,” he sneered.

“Just shut your stupid mouth! You know nothing, so stop acting like you do! Fish makes me _sick_ , you ignorant scumbag!”

The prince got up and tossed the remaining, intact parts of the piece of bread to the ground.

“That’s still no reason to treat the poor girl like this. She was only doing what she was told!” And what if it made Kíli sick? What did it matter if it made him spew and tortued him with cramps? It wasn’t the girl’s fault and he could’ve simply told her to serve him something else, instead of wasting food and scaring the hell out of her.

Kíli barked a laugh at that, cruel and loud.

“Oh! Yes, of course! You are right! I will just remember that they were only doing what was expected of them the next time! I’m sure it will feel so rewarding and soothing to remember that I’m only in this situation, because others were obeying orders!” Kíli spat, his voice oozing with sarcasm.

Fíli had enough. How could he have believed even for a second that discussing with the omega was of any use? Kíli was a spoiled brat, who couldn’t be dealt with arguments.

“I have enough of your whining!”

Reaching for the prince none to gently, Fíli grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the living room. He could feel the other struggle and stumble beside him, unable to escape the blond’s vice-like grip. Pushing him towards the mess, Kíli almost lost his footing and landed beside the shards. A spark of an emotion Fíli had no desire to discern crossed the prince’s eyes.

“You will clean up what you have caused and I will observe your every move and you better make sure the floor is spick and span if you want to go to bed tonight,” Fíli informed him sternly.

The angry mask crumbled on the other’s face.

“You can’t make me!” he protested, although even Fíli noticed that it lacked his usual bite. The alpha had already won, he just needed the right words to make Kíli’s mind register this as well.

“Try me,” Fíli hissed. “I have a feeling that Dáin wouldn’t mind at all to see you do some work for once.”

Watching the omega press his lips into a thin line, Fíli waited for another blaze up of anger, a last attempt to fight. But whatever was going on in Kíli’s head, the brunet bent down at last and began to pick up the shards.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“Is it hard?” Frerin wondered, lying beside him in the grass, panting heavily from their sparring match. “Being a prince, I mean,” he specified, before Fíli was able to wonder what this was all about._

_Fíli frowned at the blue sky. It was the first time the omega ever asked him this. Perhaps it came from the new development between them, from embraces and kisses and feather-light touches._

_“Sometimes,” he admitted, sneaking one of his hands into Frerin’s, loving how their hands seemed to match, how their fingers fit perfectly in the gaps of the other._

_The smell of grass tickled in the blond’s nose, but there was also this other scent that was all Frerin, a mixture of vanilla and heated stone. Every omega smelled different for alphas and spoke of the attraction that might be between them. Although the smell wasn’t usually that strong and could be easily covered if desired. It only changed when an omega was in heat, but Frerin wasn’t and so the grass was far more prominent at the moment. For someone like Fíli, who knew the smell of the omega almost as good as the one of his father, though, it barely mattered and made it easy to detect._

_“I’m not that worried anymore since I have you,” Fíli added with a smile._

_Rolling onto his side, Frerin leaned over him, draping his lips over Fíli's in a tender kiss._

_“Good,” he said, when he broke it. “Because I’m going to support you, no matter what.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On the next day Kíli was set up for dinner with one of his suitors, Terje, if Fíli remembered is name correctly, and his family. It took place in the dining hall of the royal wing, a cosy room decorated with tapestries and a warm fire flickering in the mantle. The cutlery on the laid table spoke of a grand meal, with many different courses.

Servants were swarming through the room, filling goblets with wine, ale or water after Kíli, Terje and his family had taken a seat. It was a rather big family, bigger than what Fíli was used to for dwarves. Not only Terje’s parents were present, but also grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins, let alone his two younger siblings, both omegas.

Dáin had excused himself and so Kíli had to face the dinner on his own.

Fíli hovered at Kíli’s right, arms crossed behind his back and keeping an eye at the guest, while he tried to drown out their boring conversations. He’d never had much time to spare for such talk, for it was always addressing the same topics, most of the time it was wealth. As if there wasn't anything else one could talk about. So if he’d attended one conversation with other noble folk, he’d pretty much attended every one, so that smiling and nodding was all he needed to do.

The first course was served, following an appropriate amount of time the guests had been given to practise politeness. Kíli tried to smile kindly, but looked far too tense otherwise. Probably because he couldn’t stand such conversations either, just for once Fíli couldn’t fault him.

The soup smelled delicious and the blond was grateful to have eaten a snack before they had left, his stomach probably would’ve decided to rumble pathetically without that foresight and that truly would’ve reflected badly on Dáin and the way he provided his guards. Even though Dáin’s temper was something Fíli frowned upon, he hadn’t once gone hungry here, save for the one time Kíli prevented the servants from bringing the blond breakfast, of course.

It was always interesting watching dwarves eat, for while the majority didn’t care much about table manners, as it could often be seen in the tavern and as Fíli had displayed so often in Erebor, when no important people were present. Nobility, however, had something elven-like while eating, which was probably not what they would like to hear, but with the way they sat all straight as a pole, gracefully guiding spoons to their lips, it couldn’t really be denied. The desire to look more civilised than poorer dwarves was most likely the reason, although Fíli would prefer fun always over civility.

That thought was soon interrupted by whispering and giggling, when just moments before it had been completely quiet as Kíli and the family had started to eat. Fíli furrowed his brows, gazing over to where the two young omegas, brothers of Terje, sat and put their heads together. He noticed the younger of them then nudging one of their cousins with an elbow, pointing everything but discreetly at Kíli, after the dwarf had shot the young omega a confused glance. Their cousin snorted with laughter, pressing his hands to his lips to stifle the sounds, but it was in vain. To top it all, the amusement of the teens now seemed to catch the attention of the other members of the family as well.

It was then, that Fíli’s eyes returned to Kíli, taking a closer look at him and realising what had the others snickering and whispering so much. He was using the wrong spoon. There were exactly four placed next to his plate, varying in size and shape. The prince had reached for one in the middle, a spoon he deemed alright for the soup, but which was actually meant for a different course and every other dwarf, except him, seemed to know that.

Kíli had stopped eating, meanwhile, his knuckles turning white with the force he was holding on to the spoon. The giggling and whispering felt immensely loud in the wide dining hall. That much about the manners of nobility…

The prince couldn’t have planned for this to happen, not after he had tried so hard during the days prior to be on his best behaviour in the presence of a suitor. So this could only mean he didn’t know which cutlery to use, but how was that possible?

Before he could come up with a solution, however, Kíli seemed to have enough of the mocking laughter, pushed his chair back and headed out of the room, without so much as looking at them again. Fíli had to hurry to catch up with him, but on the whole way back the prince was strangely quiet, not ranting or swearing at all, that when they reached the prince’s chambers and the brunet fled into his room, Fíli was left standing in uncomfortable silence.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologise in advance, because I'm beginning to realise that this story turned into a damn monster once again. I had planned it to be 20k words in the beginning, changed that plan after a while to 30k, then to 50k and now that I've reached 40k I'm not sure I can finish it within 60k words.
> 
> The thing is, the character development in this story takes so much time and I actually think it takes too much and that the story moves too slowly, so I will try to work against this slowness with the beginning of chapter 13. I will cancel some scenes I had planned, because I want that story to be moving forward, but I also don't want to rush stuff, because I want it to be realistic and believable and everything can't simply be butterflies and rainbows after one conversation. That's just not how it works, especially in a setting such as this.
> 
> So, what I actually want to say, you might notice some changes in the progress of the story in the future and this is the reason. I hope it won't ruin the story for you, but if it does, I'm already so very sorry to have have done that.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli has to protect Kíli.

 

 

The days began to blend in bit by bit. It seemed like he’d experienced the whole range of Kíli’s insults and tantrums and wasn’t able to become that shocked anymore. Fíli would rather roll his eyes in annoyance. Therefore, before he knew what was happening, another week had passed by and the blond’s next day off was merely a few hours away.

On this evening Kíli went to a tavern with another suitor, whose name was Orm. He was a rather sturdy dwarf, although smaller than Dwalin, his shoulders were no less broad. If Fíli remembered right from the first meeting between Orm and Kíli, then he was one of the gate keepers, which would explain his huge biceps. With his wild hair and beard, even if still braided, he almost looked dangerous, but he smiled a lot to soften his fierce expression.

It was also on the same evening that Fíli spotted the dwarrodam once again, he’d already seen her following them around during Kíli’s and Arik’s first meeting. This time she acted just like the last, only that she didn’t step through the door of the tavern in the end, perhaps sensing Fíli’s eyes on her and knowing he was going to confront her. It didn’t help that she kept her distance in the end, tomorrow the blond would look for her and face her. He knew where she worked after all and seeing her second time, acting so obvious and staring at the prince, Fíli couldn’t let it slip again. Who could say what she might be planning?

Orm and Kíli took a seat in a spot of the tavern that was less crowded, which turned out to be a small table secluded from the counter. Fíli on the other hand, decided to sit down on a chair near them, but far away enough for the noises inside the tavern to drown the conversation of the courting pair.

It didn’t stay like this for long, though, for Orm beckoned him over and not much later Fíli found himself as their servant, carrying new mugs of ale over to them, whenever the broad dwarf demanded. Fíli scowled, whenever the alphas whistle cut through the music and laughter filling the tavern, telling him that the damn dwarf wanted more once again.

Kíli was smiling brightly in the meantime, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol. The blond actually thought the prince had already drunken his fair share and should think about stopping, but he didn’t really care if the brunet would regret drinking so much on the next day. Nursing a hangover might do him some good and if this was the only revenge Fíli could receive for being treated like a potman, then he would gladly take it.

Fíli couldn’t have sat down for very long, when Orm once again send him to fetch a new tankard of ale. Kíli was giggling, more than a little tipsy, his motor function appearing sluggish. The guard scowled.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he huffed under his breath, but got up nonetheless. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that while the king wouldn’t like him obeying such an order coming from Kíli, Orm was a completely different matter.

Pushing his way through the crowd and cursing his decision to come to the Iron Hills in the first place, he ordered another tankard at the bar. The innkeeper nodded, signalling him he would get to it as soon as possible. Fíli turned around at the sign, feeling quite cramped between all the dwarves waiting for their drink and therefore wanted to bring a bit distance between them and himself. This was when he noticed with an ice-cold sense of shock that Orm and Kíli were missing. Save for the tankards, now lying instead of standing on the table, the bench where they had sat not long ago was empty.

Looking around hurriedly, he tried to spot their faces in the crowd, but soon had to realise that he was either unable to spot them or they weren’t in the tavern anymore. Before panic could take control over his mind, the blond deemed it worth a shot and headed out of the tavern, which seemed to be exactly the right choice.

It was already late and except for the muffled noises coming from the public house, it was completely silent in the huge hall leading to the tavern and to all other sorts of shops. Lanterns illuminated his surroundings, creating a wall of black shadows, looking almost impenetrable. And right there, half-covered by darkness, were Orm and Kíli.

The omega was leaning heavily against the wall, as if he wouldn’t be able stand straight without its support, pushing sluggishly against the alphas broad chest. His suitor was kissing the younger man’s neck, pulling at his hair to cause the brunet to expose more of his flesh.

“N-no. St-oh-op,” the prince slurred, an uncomfortable whine noticeable in his voice.

Orm either didn’t hear or care, but Fíli did. He was at their side in an instant, yanking the alpha backwards so forcefully that the other stumbled, barely able to keep his balance. Ere Kili’s suitor was given the time to react, the blond had already drawn one of his swords and pointed it threateningly at the attacker.

“What the-,“ the broad dwarf began to protest.

“Perhaps you are deaf, but he said no,” Fíli hissed, his chest quivering with the speed of his furiously pounding heart.

He had allowed himself to be fooled, had allowed himself to be send away, thinking Dáin would want it that way. Fíli had been so fed up with Kíli’s behaviour, with Dáin’s, that he simply didn’t want to deal with one of them. As a result he’d almost neglected his duty. If standing in the crowd hadn’t felt this cramped, he might've not even gotten back in time. He was so angry with himself, but at the same time projected all of his disgust at the other alpha.

What would’ve happen if Fíli hadn’t showed up in time? Kíli had been too drunk for resistance. Had this been Orm’s plan right from the beginning? Let Fíli bring them ale after ale, while he urged the brunet to drink himself into a stupor so it would be easier to rape him? If this scum would simply give him a reason, the blond wouldn’t hesitate to strike his sword at him! Sadly Orm wasn’t that stupid.

“I, Fíli, bodyguard of prince Kíli, nephew of king Dáin Ironfoot, herewith declare you, Orm, son of Olef, unfit as a suitor. You are therefore banned from the courtship feast and your disorderly behaviour will be reported and should you dare to come near the prince again I will not hesitate to strike you down,” Fíli growled.

How he wished to be in Erebor. How he wished to be a prince and to have a say in what was going to happen. How he wished he could punish this man for his deeds. Being a prince had never been easy and often Fíli had longed for a way out, now however, being a prince would’ve come in handy. But he was only a guard here and even if people knew, Fíli couldn’t make orders in Dáin’s stead. He could only hope that reporting the incident would be enough to get this disgusting alpha punished as he watched Orm go.

It took some long moments for the red-hot wrath inside him to die down slowly, for his instincts to relax and for the urge to hit something to lessen, before Fíli got aware of the soft sounds of hitched breathing. Sheathing his sword Fíli turned around and spotted Kíli on the ground, – probably because he hadn’t managed to stay on his feet with the alcohol wandering through his body, – tears were running down his cheeks and miserable sobs rocking his frame. It had to be the shock, Fíli thought, as he crouched down beside him, unsure how to proceed.

Kíli and him weren’t particularly on good terms, but Fíli would wish on no one what had just happened to the brunet. He might dislike the prince, but he wasn’t cruel. One thing was certain, though, it would be better to bring him home, instead of allowing him to sit on the cold stone floor, with dwarves in the tavern that could leave any minute and spot the omega in an everything but flattering position.

“Kíli,” he began to speak slowly, assuming that it was far more sensible to tell the brunet what he was about to do, than just grabbing him. “I’m going to help you up and bring you back to your chambers.”

“No,” the brunet protested, pushing Fíli’s hands away. “Wanna go home,” he slurred, words distorted from crying.

The blond frowned in confusion. That was what he had told him, wasn’t it? Perhaps he hadn’t understood.

“That’s where I’m going to take you,” Fíli replied carefully. “Back to the royal wing and your room.”

“I want my real home,” Kíli sobbed. “Want my 'amad.”

A painful pang shot through his chest. If he just knew more about Kíli, if someone would just tell him. He’d wondered where the prince’s parents were during the beginning of the courtship feast. If he had any idea what might have happened to them, he might not feel as helpless as he did now.

“I don’t know where she is,” he murmured eventually.

This answer seemed to drain all the fight from Kíli’s limbs and by the time of the next attempt to help him up, the brunet let Fíli do as he pleased. Only silent tears escaped the prince’s eyes, as he was guided back to his chambers, while leaning heavily on his guard.

Fíli couldn’t say why, but when the omega was finally lying in bed, covered with a blanket, he felt awful. He didn’t like Kíli, not by a long shot, but this… this had shown him a side he hadn’t known existed and Fíli was thankful for his free day tomorrow, since this night wouldn’t only make it awkward to act around Kíli, but also difficult in a way he couldn’t process just yet.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Panic surged through his being. Frantically he pushed dwarves aside, while he tried to elbow his way. A thick cloud of dust could be seen in the distance. People screamed with pain and shock, tried to get away, feared the walls to collapse. Not Fíli._

_Frerin was down there! He worked in the forge. He would’ve been there when the earth shook and buried what was built too instable._

_“Out of the way!” Fíli bellowed._

_The other dwarves didn’t seem to hear him, though, so lost in their panic that not even the orders of their prince could reach them._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kíli was still asleep when Fíli got up on the next morning. He had a quick breakfast and was out of the chambers, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. The prince’s sobbing, uttering a wish for his mother… it had reminded Fíli of himself, two weeks after he’d lost Frerin. The blond had lied in his bed and cried and begged to every Valar whose name he knew to return Frerin to him. Of course no one had listened. The memory had been enough to cause Fíli to shiver during the whole night.

Therefore he was glad to get out and distract himself with confronting that strange dwarrowdam, Fíli had spotted following the brunet around then and again. Before he made his way towards the poorer neighbourhoods of the Iron Hills, however, the alpha paid Balin a visit to report last day’s incident. The beta promised him to inform Dáin and to remove Orm from the list of suitors, although he was displaying a troublesome frown as he did so. Fíli understood it in a way, out of the minimum of fifteen alphas an omega had to choose or accept for a courtship feast to take place, three were already removed from the list. Orm and Gunar hadn’t honoured the traditions and Terje didn’t seem to care much for an omega that couldn’t use the right cutlery during dinner. Twelve were left and the first month hadn’t even passed.

Needless to say, it didn’t look very good.

The tavern close to the mines was pretty much deserted, when Fíli arrived, which wasn't surprising, since there were still two hours until lunch. The innkeeper was present nonetheless, polishing the last of his goblets and putting them into the shelves behind him. His hair was shining as ginger as his beard and despite working around a rather heavy midsection, he moved swiftly. If Fíli was remembering his name right, than this dwarf was known as Bombur.

"Lunch isn't ready yet," the dwarf addressed him without looking up from his task.

"That's not why I'm here," Fíli replied, finally gaining the attention of the other. "I'm looking for one of your employees. A dwarrowdam with long dark hair, a sharp nose and about my height."

Bombur listened carefully.

"Dís," he answered eventually, after some time of silence, perhaps to process the information. "Has she done something?"

"That's not your concern. I need to talk to her, so do you know, where I can find her."

Bombur's eyes wandered suspiciously to the beads in Fíli's hair and the swords at his back. There was nothing indicating him as a dwarf in Dáin’s service, but it felt like Bombur didn’t need it to see through Fíli’s position.

"I won't harm her. I just want to talk," the guard tried to reassure the other.

At first though, it didn't look like it was working. Bombur seemed to fight an inward battle and Fíli feared already he would have to come back on another day, with the aid of Dáin's men to to find out why she would follow Kíli. But thankfully it didn't get that far, for Bombur sighed and nodded.

"Wait here a second. I will fetch my brother and he will lead you to her home. She is assigned for the night shift, so she should be there right now."

Fíli thanked him with a bow of his head and watched the other dwarf leave the taproom. He didn't need to wait long for Bombur to return, accompanied by a beta, wearing a funny looking hat.

"Bofur, at your service," Bombur's brother introduced himself.

"Fíli, at yours."

The other smiled brightly and beckoned him to come along. Together they stepped out of the tavern, passed by at the entrance to the mines and walked deeper into one of the poorer neighbourhoods of the Iron Hills. Here quarters clustered closely. Those houses were completely alike on the outside and couldn't be that big on the inside. It was a rather bleak view, stretching in front of him. He wasn't used to people living in poverty. It didn't exist in Erebor and this was furthermore the first time he was able to see it this clearly in the Iron Hills. Fíli felt a pang of discomfort rise in his chest.

The few dwarves they encountered on their way and that probably didn't have to work today, were wearing torn clothes and looked tired and worn out. Fíli knew that the other dwarven realms weren't as wealthy as Erebor, – well, except Khazad-dûm perhaps, but it had long been lost, – knowing something and seeing it with his own eyes, however, was something completely different.

"I guess you want to see her, because she can't stay away from the lad?" Bofur's words suddenly cut through the oppressive silence, surprising Fíli with his accuracy.

"I'm only going to discuss it with her," the blond answered carefully. It was always unwise to talk with non-participants.

Bofur nodded, as if he'd already expected such an answer and stopped them not much later at one of the many doors strung next to each other. Before Fíli could thank him, however, the dwarf met his eyes with such a desperate and serious expression that the blond almost forgot to keep his disinterested mask in check.

"But the lad is alright, isn't he? They treat him well?"

"If you are speaking of prince Kíli," Fíli stated matter-of-factly, "he is treated like every prince would." Although, the blond had come to mistrust this somewhat.

Bofur sighed.

"That's what I feared."

If Fíli hadn't felt the urge to find answers before, this reaction alone would've caused the curiosity to increase.

"Well, we are here. I hope she can give you the answers you are looking for."

Fíli hoped so, too. They bid their farewells and then the guard was the only one standing in front of the inconspicuous door.

 

 


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli finally learns the truth.

 

 

Bracing himself for every possible outcome that might occur, with an opening door, Fíli knocked. It was silent on the other side for a few moments and he was already considering knocking once more, but then the door was opened and the dwarrowdam he'd been looking for faced him.

Dís didn't seem very surprised to see him, even though she wasn't stepping aside immediately to let him enter.

"What can I do for you?" Up close she looked fiercer than in the distance and with other dwarves between them. Her dark blue eyes gleamed defiantly as he met them. Her clothing, however, was as humble as what the other dwarves in this neighbourhood were wearing. Had she stolen the dress she'd been wearing on the higher markets?

It didn't really matter, though. The blond was here for a different reason.

Fíli couldn't say what it was, but under her gaze he felt almost instantly like a naughty dwarfling, having caused some kind of mischief she wasn't approving of. His training, however, wasn't that easily pierced and so he didn't back down.

"I’m Fíli, bodyguard of prince Kíli and I would like to know why you are following him around. Perhaps I need to report your doings to the king, just in case you mean them both harm."

This seemed to do the trick, even if not in the way Fíli had imagined. She wasn't scared or feared the consequences of her actions. Dís simply looked him over and soon came to an accurate conclusion.

"You aren't from here."

Fíli frowned.

"No, I'm from Erebor."

The dwarrowdam nodded, a distant expression on her features, as if she was processing the information.

"We better talk inside," she suggested, coming back to herself.

Fíli followed her warily, darting glances around the small kitchen to ensure no one was lurking anywhere. He might be too cautious, but it could never hurt in an unknown environment. Better safe than sorry.

"You can keep your boots on," she told him, although Fíli had no intention of getting rid of them. "The coal dust on the floor is rather persevering."

He hummed, barely listening. The kitchen was a small room, leading to a little hallway on the one side and to an exit on the opposite. A hearth and kitchenette could be spotted, while the remaining part of the cramped space was occupied by a table and four simple chairs. It wasn't more than the bare necessities, pointing the poverty of the Iron Hills once again out to Fíli.

"Why are you following the prince?" Fíli came back to topic, after taking in his sparse surroundings.

"I can give you a quick answer to that, but you might have questions afterwards and it is a rather long and tiring story."

It could be an act, the exhaustion on her features, the sadness, but somehow Fíli believed her. He couldn't really put his finger on it, why he would trust her more than others, when not long ago he'd feared Dís might harm the prince. There was something about her that caused him to lower his guard.

"I don't need to be anywhere today."

She smiled at that.

"In that case, I will put on the kettle for some tea. You can have a look around, the last room in the hallway is Kíli's room."

The blond froze, staring at her in disbelief.

"He is my son," the dwarrowdam added, confirming Fíli emerged suspicion, but stunning him with the truth nonetheless.

This was where Kíli had grown up? Why? If he was of Dáin's lineage he should've been raised together with Thorin Stonehelm and taught everything Fíli had learned as well. Even if, as an omega, he wasn't allowed to learn about it to the same extent, he shouldn't have sat there during dinner, unable to choose the right cutlery.

The blond waited for further explanations, but Dís seemed busy with making tea and therefore Fíli decided to do, what the dwarrowdam had suggested. Traversing the hallway the alpha came to a stop at Kíli's room and after taking a deep breath, he stepped inside.

It was dark, the curtains drawn and the only light flooding into the room coming from where Fíli had opened the door. It was a little messy. On a chest of drawers Fíli spotted carved, wooden animals, he couldn't say how many, but he recognised at least twelve species in the dim light and that wasn't even covering half of the cute little army.

The walls were decorated with papers, drawings and concepts of toys and one of those enthroned the desk in the form of a real object. There was also parchment and a quill, causing Fíli to take a careful step inside, so he could take a look at them. They turned out to contain writing exercises, rather atrocious ones in Fíli's opinion. The handwriting was sloppy, barely readable and riddled with errors, some words had even been crossed out. It seemed like writing wasn't one of Kíli's strong points, but if the concepts on the walls were his work, then he seemed to have a talent in this area and a great future as a toymaker ahead.

Wooden boxes piled up in one corner of the room and battered boots lay in another. The bed wasn't made and at the head leaned a quiver filled with arrows, a bow, however, was missing. The quiver was a piece of art of its own. The different colours of the leather indicated it had been created from scraps, arranged in the way they were, though, allowed them to support each other instead of clashing. Ornaments were embossed into the leather, giving it a unique look Fíli couldn't help but admire.

This room..., if this was truly Kíli's room, was able to tell him so much about the prince. More than the chambers in the royal wings and a lot more than Kíli had offered on his own during the last weeks.

"I dust then and again, but don’t touch anything else," Dís breathy voice incited him to turn around. She was gazing with so much remorse into the room that Fíli couldn't help but swallow hard. "He didn't like it when I cleaned up his mess. Always said it is its own system and that he couldn't find his stuff anymore whenever I did it nonetheless. We had so many arguments about it, time we could've used so much better."

"Wha-" he started, but was interrupted by a gesture of her hand.

"The tea is ready. Let's sit down and talk."

Fíli nodded, following her back into the kitchen, where a kettle and mugs were already waiting on the table. Along with it Dís served some small little biscuits that didn't taste like anything at all, as Fíli learned when he took a bite. The tea was better.

They sat there in silence for some time. Eventually Dís heaved a deep sigh.

"I don't really know where to start," she confessed.

"The beginning is usually a good idea," Fíli said softly, bringing a small smile to her lips.

Her hands came around the steaming mug, searching contact and dreading it at the same time, retreating for a few seconds, when it got too hot to bear, just to repeat the motion not much later. Staring into the tea, Dís sighed once again. She wasn't the fierce dwarrowdam anymore he'd met in front of her door, now she simply appeared like a broken woman.

"In the beginning, I was a princess. I was born twenty years after Dáin. Before I was stripped off my title and my name erased from every book and genealogy, I was his little sister."

She was the crossed out name on the family tree? But why? If she had done something terrible to justify disownment from the long line of Durin, how could she be allowed to live here? In Erebor people like that were cast out and so far Fíli had gotten the impression the Iron Hills were less finicky. It seemed every answer gave room to even more questions. However, Dís had warned him it was going to be a long story, so hopefully some answers were already waiting for him.

"We were never really close. I was so much younger than him that there were already so many duties loaded onto his young shoulders, he couldn’t give me any attention by the time I demanded it. It didn't change with the years, he thought I was too young to understand him and with time his future as a king was all he saw, all he was raised to be. I, on the other hand, well... I did most of what was expected of me, but I rebelled quite often against our traditions. I wanted to fight with an axe and wanted to see the world. Not the right material for a princess of the Iron Hills. Your father, however, was different."

Fíli's eyes widened with shock.

"What?" he gasped. Thorin had told him no one knew. How could she-

"Or aren't you prince Fíli of Erebor?" Her gaze was so piercing that the blond was sure she would've seen through every lie, if he tried.

"No, you are right, but how...," he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"I didn't know it at first. I only realised when you introduced yourself. I don't assume that there are many dwarves of your age named like the prince of Erebor."

"Yes, I understand that, but how? Not even Dáin realised and he is in better contact with my father than you."

At that she smiled warmly at him.

"It's a rather boring story. But when your birth was announced, I couldn't help but fall in love with your name. To me it sounded like strength and kindness, all at the same time. And I wanted my child to have a name like that, a name he could be proud of. I could never forget your name, because it is the reason why I'm calling my son Kíli."

Fíli chuckled, taking a sip of his tea. It was still hot, but not scalding so. He hadn't really thought about their resemblance in names. It made sense, though, even if it meant a sensible dwarf like her had no say in this kingdom. Dáin seemed truly in need of a voice of reason.

Just when the thought had come, however, Fíli tried to push him back. He hadn't heard the whole story just yet. He shouldn't be taking sides already, probably shouldn't take sides at all.

"Anyway, your father was very kind to me, even though he was young himself, but he encouraged me, whenever I had the pleasure of meeting him, which wasn't often mind you. And when the years went by it came the time for my parents to think of a suitable marriage for me. By that time, however, I had realised I would never see the world, instead I visited parts of the Iron Hills I wasn't allowed to. There I met Weig, a miner and a young beta. We had fallen in love and wanted to name each other as our Ones, but of course my family was against it. They wanted a good political match for me after all."

The last part sounded far too familiar, when Fíli thought of Kíli.

"We therefore decided to defy our traditions and consummated our marriage, before any ceremony could take place. Needless to say, my parents were not happy." Fíli was able to hear the bitterness in her voice. "No one would want a tainted princess and when they learned I had given myself not only to a miner, but a beta, they announced to the whole kingdom I had brought shame to the Iron Hills, I was stripped of my titles and cast out. They thought if they sent me into the poverty Weig was living in, I would return to them, begging for forgiveness. But I have never looked back."

Fíli tried to process the explanation. There were far too many traditions about the Iron Hills he still didn't know, but seeing Dáin's order to prevent Kíli from lying with an alpha... well, there seemed to be something frightfully genuine in her story.

"Why did it matter so much that Weig is a beta?" He found himself wondering.

"Because it is believed that betas can't sire alphas. They might be right, I have never heard of such a case, either. But unlike my parents I didn't want an alpha-son, I wanted a healthy child."

Only alphas were entitled to inherit the throne. So it wasn't far-fetched to assume that they wanted for both of their children to gift them with a grandchild they could work with. Just the thought felt sour on his tongue. As if every other dwarf was weak. There wouldn't be any alphas at all without women, betas and omegas.

"I wasn't angry with my parents, we had begun drifting apart a long time ago and being freed from their expectations was a sense of freedom I hadn't known before. We were poor, still are, but we were happy and when Kíli was born, I thought my life was finally complete. He was a little rascal, but kind and no one could resist his smiles. I might have coddled him too much, since I never managed to conceive again after he was born, but he is my pride and joy and grew up to be a wonderful man. He is a great hunter and has such skilful hands… Blacksmiths, carpenters and other dwarves were hoping to have him as an apprentice one day. As you have seen, though, he only ever saw himself as a toymaker."

It was nice to learn that at least the poorer society of the Iron Hills gave all of their children the freedom they deserved, although the only justification probably was that they were in need of the money all of their children could earn. It was hard to accept, to refrain from comparing this place with Erebor. Fíli had never really understood how lucky he had been to not only grow up as a prince, but as a citizen of Erebor.

However, there were also parts in her story that didn't fit with what Fíli had experienced. A wonderful man...? Kind? A dwarf people wanted to work with? That wasn't the Kíli Fíli had come to know, but the prince knew they hadn't reached the part yet, in which the omega had become Dáin's heir... or whatever one wanted to call his position.

Nibbling at another insipid biscuit, Fíli waited for her to top up his mug.

"In the end all of this didn't matter. When the news of Thorin Stonehelm’s death did the rounds I wasn't very concerned. Dáin had never acknowledged Kíli before. But then, two days after Thorin's funeral, Dáin sent his men. They took my son away, suddenly called him a prince. Dáin had never cared about his existence, but I guess after the death of his son he was too scared to lose his kingdom as well. And now Kíli is in the same situation as I once was, just that there is no one, who could get him out. I had Weig, but Kíli is completely alone."

Dís wiped at her eyes, taking a deep shuddering breath.

"There were some young noble dwarves, gaining his trust when he was most vulnerable. When he tried to run away, they knew and reported it to Dáin. I had fought until then, to be allowed to see him and by the time I was finally granted a short visit, we hadn't spoken for weeks. I have never taught my son the traditions or how to talk, how to eat, all the things nobility is so proud of. Everyone knew it, he stood out like a piece of coal among diamonds. I don't think Kíli has told me even half of what mockery and other cruelties he had to endure because of it during those weeks. And when he told me furthermore that Dáin intended to marry him off to Rosbart, the chieftain of a dwarven settlement in the Grey Mountains, I decided to act and insisted on a courtship feast."

This might have been the only way to save Kíli. The courtship feast was a tradition every dwarf realm honoured. It wasn't necessary; mates could find each other with or without it. But it was a great relief for those, who weren't happy with the choice of their parents or guardians. If they demanded a courtship feast, no one was allowed to deny them – at least if they hadn't acted dishonourable in a way that justified a refusal of the request – only if the dwarf didn't manage to find a mate during the courtship feast, they were married to the intended chosen by their family.

"Dáin didn't like me interfering, though. He had to honour our traditions, but he didn't want me to ruin even more of his plans and since then I am not allowed to see my son anymore. Following him on the streets, hidden by the crowd, is the only way I can be near him at all."

"You aren't worried that someone might spot you and report it?"

She sent a tired smile in his direction.

"Usually it is Dwalin escorting him. Dwalin and I are friends and I asked him to look after him. But he can't do much. He has fetched Kíli's bow once, let him shoot and allowed him to feel a bit like himself again. As you can guess, though, Dáin found out and stopped it. He doesn't trust Dwalin's loyalty anymore, when it comes to my son. That's probably the reason, why you are his guard now."

And if Fíli would've had any reason to doubt her until then, he wouldn't anymore now. He thought of Dwalin, ignoring her on the markets, while Fíli had wondered if the other guard truly hadn't noticed. He remembered Kíli demanding his bow, but wasn't handed it, because it wasn't deemed proper for an omega to use a weapon. Dwalin was always kind, never losing his temper, regardless how rude and cruel Kíli treated him, knowing the brunet's trouble.

He tried to imagine himself in Kíli's position, how it might feel to be ripped out of everything he knew, pressed into a role he couldn't fit into, all of his freedom taken from him. No knowledge of how this strange new world worked, in which he was supposed to function. Fíli understood now, why Kíli was so angry all the time. The anger was the only thing no one could take from him. They had taken his freedom, his family, his bow, but they couldn't take this and without the protection it offered furthermore, he could shatter under those terrible circumstances any time.

There wasn't anything Dís had done wrong, she had her reasons to believe this life behind her and that Kíli didn't need to know anything about it. Dáin, however, was different. The king knew Kíli was unfit for this position. He had taken everything from him, just to see a new heir for his kingdom created within a political marriage, an heir he could – in his view – be proud of, and ruined the life of a lad with it that had wanted to be nothing more than a toymaker.

A sudden surge of anger shot through his body. Fíli was furious. Furious with the stupid traditions of the Iron Hills, furious with Dáin's parents for raising him to believe they were worth more than other people. Furious with Thorin Stonehelm for dying, furious with the orcs for killing him, but most of all furious with Dáin himself, who cared more for riches than his nephew.

“I can’t help but blame myself for not teaching him… for choosing love, when a political marriage might have turned him into an alpha and spared him from everything. Weig says I have to let go, but I can’t, he will always be my little boy.”

Fíli frowned.

“He wants you to give up?”

“Weig doesn’t understand,” she sighed and shook her head sadly. “They have drifted apart over the years. When Kíli was little, he would always await his father eagerly, when it was time for him to return from his long shift in the mines. Sometimes, when he was working in the deepest parts, Weig was gone for a whole month. They would hunt together, when he returned, play or give Kíli one of those carved animals you have seen in his room. Kíli still loves them and feels attached to his father, but Weig… he has reached his limits years ago. The work is hard and when he returns he just wants to be left alone, there is barely room for his family anymore. I understand, in a way, he provided for us all those years. What I earn in the tavern could never cover everything, but I don’t like how it changes him, how he can barely stand Kíli’s joy. It’s not right and we spend most of our time arguing since Kíli was taken.”

Fíli had heard enough and judging by the light outside it was getting late. He had received his answers and would probably think of them for a long time. Right now it was time to get back. However, there was one thing he needed to do before he set out.

“Listen,” he began, meeting her reddened eyes with a serious expression, trying to ignore how close to tears reliving the last months had brought her. “I have to get back to Kíli’s chambers. But I want you to write him a letter, with everything you want to tell him. On my next free day I will fetch it and give it to him.”

“You would?” she whispered hopefully.

Thinking of the prince, sunken to the ground in a dark hall of the Iron Hills, sobbing and wishing nothing more than going home to his mother, Fíli nodded.

“He misses you,” he said softly.

A sob was drawn from her throat, although Fíli couldn’t tell if it was one of relief for his support or a sound of grief from wanting to be at the side of her son, but unable to.

“Thank you,” Dís replied with a quivering voice, wiping some of the tears away, which had found a way to escape from her lids. “But if you are seen here too often Dáin could become suspicious. I will deposit it at Bombur’s tavern.”

That sounded like a good and sensible plan. Dáin didn’t need to know Fíli knew the truth about the king's terrible actions. Going to a tavern would raise less attention than stepping into this part of the Iron Hills. Besides, Fíli had no intention of playing along after what he’d just learned. Pushing a lad, until he acted like a cornered animal, wasn’t something Fíli would tolerate. He was raised with different values. It was his duty to protect Kíli and he was going to protect him from Dáin’s cruelty and the wish of failure for the omega.

Now that he understood why Kíli was the way he was, Fíli fumed with anger.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was early evening, when Fíli returned to the royal wings again. Catching one of the servants, always busy in this part of the mountain. The blond instructed to bring cutlery to the chambers of the prince. Dáin might not want Kíli to be successful, so he could be married off to an ally, but Fíli wouldn't just stay there and watch. It went against everything he believed and perhaps he wasn't able to make a difference for every omega here, but he could make a difference for Kíli.

Dwalin was already awaiting him, by the time the blond entered. Kíli, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

"Did you enjoy your day?" the other wanted to know, getting up from where he'd sat in an armchair sharpening his axes.

Fíli nodded, taking off his coat. "Yes, it was very educational."

"So you spent it in the library again," Dwalin snorted.

It wasn't a question, but an observation of what the alpha had gathered from the blond's words. Fíli didn't correct him. Dís might have mentioned Dwalin's involvement, considering his and Balin's secrecy in that matter, however, he couldn't say if it was wise to inform him of his knowledge. He could've tried to help Kíli sooner, had they told him the brunet's story right away. Instead Balin claimed Fíli needed to find out by himself and Dwalin hadn't said anything at all. Even if they felt sorry for Kíli, Dáin was their king and their loyalty belonged to him.

No, he couldn't take any risks.

"You seriously should get out of the Iron Hills more often. Breathe some fresh air, go hunting and train, before you forget everything you learned," Dwalin told him good-naturedly.

"Another day," Fíli replied with a smile, before he tackled a far more serious topic. "Are there already news about the incident with lord Orm?"

Dwalin sighed.

"Dáin thinks your actions were all that was necessary and that lord Orm's reputation shouldn't suffer just because of one _unfortunate incident that involved a great amount of ale_ ," the guard explained, putting the last part into quotation marks to underline Dáin's exact choice of words.

Fíli couldn't say what he'd expected. Definitely not much, but he still ended up disappointed, unable to believe that Orm's attempted sexual assault would stay without repercussion.

Screw his first decision of not taking any sides! He would see Kíli through his and ruin Dáin's ugly plans for him!

"I see. How is the prince?"

"He hasn't really left his room, except for quick trips to the bathroom."

Fíli nodded once more.

"You can leave, if you want. I will take it from here."

Dwalin didn't hesitate to take him up on that offer. The bald dwarf was out of the room right in time for the servant with the cutlery to arrive. He thanked the lad and put his plan into action.

Knocking at the door of the prince's room, he only received a grumbled reply that could function either as a yes or no. Fíli stepped inside, spotting Kíli on the bed, curled up under the blankets. The blond felt a wave of worry crush over him. How long would the other be able to go on in such a toxic environment, especially after what happened the other day?

Kíli looked up groggily, perhaps he was still feeling the cruel fingers of a hangover or it simply came from staying in bed for too long. Whatever it was, it didn't soothe his temper.

"What do you want?" he hissed with spite as soon as he realised, who had entered his room.

"Get up," Fíli told him completely unfazed. Kindness probably wouldn't get him very far, seeing the kind of behaviour the prince had adopted to cope.

"Get lost," was the only response, before the brunet sank back into the pillows.

Fíli was having none of it, walked up to the side of the bed and yanked the blanket from the omega's body. He sighed inwardly. Kíli was still wearing the clothes from yesterday.

"I said, ' _get up_ '," he repeated, sharper this time.

Blinking at him the omega held on to one of his pillows.

"And I told you to get lost!"

It didn't seem to work any other way. Grabbing the other by one of his upper arms, Fíli pulled a protesting Kíli first into a sitting position and finally dragged him out of bed. The brunet was struggling, but not trying to fight back, merely squirming and attempting to get away.

Coming to a halt at the laid table Kíli froze. Fíli let go of him, pulled one of the chairs back and gave the brunet a sign to take seat.

"What is this about?" Kíli demanded to know, but his voice was lacking the usual fierceness and was instead sounding a little scared. Just the sight of it silenced Fíli's doubts. He was doing the right thing.

"Sit down. I'm going to teach you, which cutlery to use for which course."

"No!" Kíli scoffed.

Fíli wasn't surprised. For someone, who had taught himself to refuse everything in a world he didn't understand, it was even a rather mild reaction.

"Sit down," he ordered him very slowly, meeting the prince's eyes. Kíli seemed to search his face for something betraying his seriousness. He wouldn't find it and the brunet noticed it was well and carefully sank down on the chair.

"Good," Fíli regarded it with a nod. "Let's begin."

 

 


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next dinner takes place.

 

 

Over the next hour he leaned over the prince, explaining to him what each piece of cutlery was used for. Informing him that watching what everyone else was doing and following along – for even in case the one mimicked was using the wrong cutlery, than at least he wouldn't be the only one doing it wrong – just wouldn't do. For there were certain occasions when the guests would wait for Kíli to open a dinner and they would only start eating after the prince had taken the first bite. Therefore no mistakes were allowed and Kíli had to be confident with using all those different cutlery.

Kíli listened to his explanation, at first he seemed wary of his intention, a reaction Fíli could understand very well, but with time his expression lit up and he nodded then and again, showing the blond that the prince was listening. And when Fíli tested him some time later, Kíli got half of it right. So they started again, the next dinner with one of the suitors was already tomorrow after all.

They stopped as the door opened and the servants served dinner. Fíli thanked them, now that the smell of food had hit his nose, the guard had realised how hungry he actually was, which wasn't that surprising, considering he'd last eaten at breakfast and the insipid biscuits Dís had served hardly counted.

"You did very good today. We will continue tomorrow. For the next dinner you will be prepared," Fíli told the prince with a smile, who was still sitting in front of a display of cutlery, looking as if he didn't quite know how to reply.

No insults, no angry features, just a boy in the gowns of a prince, overwhelmed by the life he'd been forced into. Fíli nodded to himself. Yes, helping him had been the right decision.

Of course old habits weren't that easy to get rid of and Kíli, who had spent the most part of his time as a prince with raging, couldn't just shut if off for good in the span of a day. They were back with the cutlery on the following morning and Kíli seemed to have reached his limits of sitting still and listening. He would mess up the purpose and was unable to remember one certain knife.

"I don't want to do this anymore!" Kíli exclaimed finally, slamming his fist onto the table and causing the cutlery to clatter.

"The next dinner is in a few hours, so we will continue until you get it right."

"I will never get it right! Who the hell does need that much cutlery anyway? A knife, a fork and a spoon, that's all you need. This is stupid!"

For once Fíli had to agree with him.

"But this isn't about what you think," Fíli told him sternly, long since realised that a relentless demeanour helped to get the brunet to do, what the alpha wanted. "This is about what Dáin and every noble dwarf thinks and if they believe cutlery to be a sign of modesty and honour, if used right, then they will pay close attention to you. And if they see you fail at such an ‘ _easy_ ’ task, they will deem you not worthy of their time."

Kíli had leaned back in his chair, lips pressed into a thin line and had folded his arms in front of his chest like a petulant child. Now that Fíli wasn't distracted by Kíli's behaviour, he noticed for the first time the conflicted expression on the brunet's features. He didn't want to play by their rules and Fíli truly understood him. He wouldn't like to do as they demanded as well, especially since Kíli received no reward at all for all his sacrifices, only a life that was so different from his old one and that felt like a punishment.

However, if the prince was able to find a good alpha, his situation could improve compared to this.

"Isn't it even Arik and his family you are seeing for dinner today?" Fíli wondered.

Kíli grimaced at that. Perhaps he was pondering what was more important, getting away from the cutlery or impressing the alpha and his family. Fíli wouldn't have to think long about it, the first date with Arik had went surprisingly well, better than with all of the other suitors, although this wasn't a guarantor for future success. Still, it was a sign of interest and interest could become love, Kíli shouldn't waste that chance, even if he chose a different alpha in the end, it would be a good exercise for other dinner meetings.

"If you want him to remain your suitor, you need to impress his family, they usually have a big influence in their children’s decisions and will advise them to meet you again or stop seeing you."

The corners of Kíli's mouth puckered up even more, if that was possible. But in the end he sighed, pointed at one of the knives.

"For the fish?", the brunet asked hopefully.

That was going to be an interesting evening, Fíli thought as he shook his head no and began explaining once again.

In the end they managed for Kíli to name the usage of the cutlery perfectly only once. The prince had looked proud, but Fíli doubted Kíli would remember all of it during the dinner. A good deal nervousness would come with choosing the right cutlery in front of such an unforgiving audience, he simply hoped it would start with an easy course, afterwards Kíli could observe and adjust.

When the brunet stepped out of his room, dressed in a dark blue tunic, Fíli stopped him.

"What?" Kíli hissed, the usual spite returned to his voice and the former polite atmosphere during their cutlery exercise already forgotten.

"Do you still have the necklace he bought you?" Fíli asked him completely unfazed.

He couldn't really fault the other for his anger anymore. Just because someone helped him once and tried to be nice, didn't mean they had no ulterior motive. Fíli recalled what Dís had told him, how young noble dwarves had gained Kíli's trust and betrayed him later on. The prince was probably carefully guarding his heart and it would take time to convince Kíli that Fíli was on his side.

"Yes. Why?" the brunet wondered suspiciously.

"Wearing gifts is a sign of appreciation and interest," he explained. He tried very hard not to tell him what to do, least of all ordering him. Kíli had the habit of disobeying out of defiance.

The brunet was silent, probably because he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of admitting Fíli was right, although it wasn't about this at all. But how should the prince know, if he didn’t trust his guard?

At last, though, he turned around, went back into his room and returned with the topaz dangling from his neck. No words passed between them as they headed to the dining hall

Arik's family turned out to be smaller than Terje's. He had a little alpha-brother and besides their parents no other family member joined them for dinner. So hopefully, even if Kíli did a mistake with the cutlery, no one would notice or the other dwarves might be better behaved, either way, things were already looking brighter than last time.

Dáin had once again excused himself, forcing his nephew to fend for himself a second time.  Fíli wasn't surprised and suspected the king assumed he would only see Kíli failing. He thought he knew the outcome and didn't need to be present, after all, his plans were going to work out and he avoided uncomfortable questions like this, for example, why no one had taught the brunet how to use the right cutlery. Although another possibility was that Dáin simply described it as a rebellious period. It wouldn't be far-fetched.

The atmosphere was jovial, before the dinner was served, the dwarves present chattering about this and that, while Fíli remained Kíli's silent shadow. Arik seemed pleased to spot the topaz hanging from the prince's neck, which caused this dinner to start off better than the last one.

At one point, though, dinner was ready and things got serious. Now that Fíli knew where to look, he saw the nervousness radiating from Kíli. His hands were hidden from the eyes of the others with the help of the table and the ornate table cloth, the guard, however, saw how tense they were, how Kíli picked at protruding flaps of skin and how he wiped his sweaty hands on his trousers. In that moment he reminded him so much of Frerin, his heart ached at the thought.

When their engagement had been announced, the king’s court had insisted on a dinner, to get to know the future prince's consort. They wanted to make sure, he was the right person to represent the kingdom alongside Fíli one day. They didn't even have to phrase it out loud, it was obvious by the way the invitation was voiced. Thorin had given them his blessing, but it was well known that, when the court wasn't approving of the intended, things could become difficult. It wasn't forbidden to marry even without the courts blessing, but it was a needlessly complicated procedure and neither Fíli, Frerin, nor Thorin intended to let it come this far. Therefore Fíli had done all in his power to prepare Frerin, but even though they had practised together, Frerin hadn't been any less nervous than without that knowledge.

Fíli couldn't imagine how Kíli had to feel right now, unprepared in so many matters, but always trying to appear confident in everything he was doing to increase his chances of winning an alpha, no less but his whole future at stake. He had to be scared to death.

This time the dinner was opened with baked potatoes, garnished by a creamy sauce, containing leek and bits of roasted chicken. Fíli noticed Kíli hesitating worriedly. It seemed like the prince wanted to wait for Arik's family to begin, but they had been obviously raised to the etiquette of the host taking the first bite and therefore waited for him to start. At least they weren't staring at him in anticipation, instead chattering on about how delicious the starter looked.

Fíli's gaze wandered between Kíli and his guests. The brunet was swallowing hard, a hint of fear in his too bright eyes. Eventually, before it was becoming salient, Kíli raised his hand, fingers going to the wrong knife.

The blond reacted immediately, coughing to disguise the kick he dealt to one of the chair legs. While Arik's family didn't give the sound much thought, praising their son's progress in training to Kíli, the brunet was far less subtle. Turning his head the prince looked at him, as if he was expecting Fíli to say something any second.

Cringing inwardly, he hoped the other dwarves would view it as an unconscious reflex and miss that he tried to help Kíli. Giving him a sign with his eyes, Fíli hoped to direct the brunet's attention towards the other knife, right next to the one he was about to reach for.

At first it didn't seem to work, Kíli staring at him in open confusion, but then, right when the blond was about to lose hope, recognition crept to the prince's features and his fingers purposefully enveloped the handle of the right piece of cutlery. It felt like a small eternity had passed, when Fíli exhaled a silent sigh of relief, while actually only heartbeats could've went by. No one had taken notice of their little interaction after all.

"You should see him shoot, he has such a talent," Arik's mother said, before taking a bite of the starter as well.

"You shoot?" Kíli asked with surprise.

It seemed like this information had captured his undivided attention.

"With the crossbow, yes. Although I prefer the bow, but there aren't so many occasions for me to go hunting."

The brunet visibly relaxed, when the talk turned to archery. He couldn't contribute much, knowing that omegas weren't allowed to train and perhaps he was still recalling the moment he hadn't been let into the armoury. The nervousness, though, seemed to melt away with every word Arik spoke and by the time the next course was served, Kíli reached for the right cutlery without hesitation.

Fíli was barely able to suppress a smile. Kíli's mind was elsewhere right now, completely lost in Arik's stories. It was pride, swelling in his chest at the sight. Kíli had learned well and where previously his own fear had hampered him, he now had no difficulties to remember Fíli's lesson.

In the end the dinner was a clear success. Arik was a sincere alpha and his family had taken a liking to Kíli. They were jovial and kind, not very different from Frerin's family. It always took a great pressure from the intended, if the kin of the suitor accepted them right from the beginning.

By the time they had to say good bye, Arik's parents and brother went ahead, giving them a bit of privacy. Fíli, as Kíli's guard, couldn't, although he kept a respectable distance. Near enough to act if need be, but not towering beside them like a shadow that would ruin their moment.

"Thank you for this wonderful evening. My parents love you already."

"I'm glad. They are amazing," Kíli replied with a smile.

"I really enjoy spending time with you. I can hardly wait until our next date and wish I could see you already tomorrow."

Fíli discreetly averted his eyes, as Arik leaned forward to kiss Kíli gently on the cheek, before they parted.

It was quiet on the way back to Kíli's chambers, neither of them daring to break the silence present in the empty hallways.

"Fíli?" Kíli said all of a sudden, by the time they'd almost reached the prince's chambers.

"Mh?" Fíli tried to sound as unconcerned as possible.

Another few steps passed in silence, a glance sideways informing him of the conflicted look on the brunet's features.

"Nevermind."

Fíli had half a mind to encourage the prince to go on, but suppressed the urge. Kíli wasn't trusting him, not yet at least, and as it took time for a hurt animal to obtain confidence, the same could be said for Kíli.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Fíli felt caught in a nightmare. He had dreamed of Frerin once again, dreamed he had survived, dreamed the funeral had never happened. He had awoken with his heart pounding furiously, almost painfully, in his chest. One of his hands was searching for a warm body, but only able to find cold sheets. It had felt so real... the sound of Frerin's voice, the gentleness of his touches, that realising it was just a dream hurt like a knife stabbing his chest with every painful heartbeat and agonising accuracy._

_Panting, he sat up. The bed and his nightgown were moist with sweat, sticking to his body uncomfortably. Slipping into a cloak and after lighting a lantern, Fíli left his chambers, ignoring the way the cold stone bit into his naked feet. He couldn't stand his rooms anymore. They felt wrong, charged with the ghosts of memories of a happy couple soon to be married. The silence was torturing him, mocking him with the reality that it was never going to leave his chambers now. For even though they hadn't always talked, had often enjoyed the other's presence quietly, just the knowledge that they were together had inspirited the chambers with a voice only they were able to hear. The voice of belonging and love, loudly embracing them even in quiet moments. Now the silence was only screaming, speaking of loss._

_Fíli wandered for a while through Erebor without rhyme or reason, no destination in mind. But something else seemed to lure him, taking his feet to a place he'd never wanted to visit again, but at which entrance he came to a halt. Blinking he stared into the dark, the stairs only illuminated by the light of his lantern appearing like they would lead him into an endless maw of blackness. The graves._

_Fíli swallowed hard, wanted to turn around. His body, however, seemed to have a different idea, wouldn't move anymore at the prince's will and instead guided him down the stairs. Slowly.... slowly..., through long hallways and down more and more stairs, until he stopped in front of one of the tombs._

_The light landed on the inscription. 'Here lies Frerin, Son of Frar, betrothed to Prince Fíli of Erebor.'_

_His legs, carrying him so bravely to this place, weren't able to bear his weight a second longer, giving out under him and causing him to sink onto hands and knees. Tears were burning behind his eyes, the grief in his heart stronger than ever, as Fíli let go of the lantern, pressing his hands to his mouth to muffle a sob._

_Frerin was dead and nothing was going to bring him back. He had left... left him alone to suffer in the darkness._

_"You promised," Fíli croaked. Losing his battle against the tears and staring through a blurry curtain at the eerie shape of the tomb. "You promised we would have our own little family. You promised you would help me with the burden of kingship. You promised to grow old with me!" he accused the tomb before another sob fought its way out of his throat._

_He had promised all those things and still he had went in there, helping others while knowing full well his own life would be at stake. Had he even thought of Fíli in all that time?_

_A sudden surge of anger swallowed the grief._

_"You promised! How could you leave just like that? How dare you! If you loved me so much, how could you leave me?!"_

_He slammed his fists against the stone, until skin burst at the intense impact, although he barely felt it, screaming his voice hoarse, blaming Frerin for his terrible kind heart._

_At last he collapsed beside the tomb, feeling drained and so very alone._

_"Why did you leave me?" Fíli asked again in a quivering voice. “Oh please, come back. Please," he sobbed. "I can't do this without you."_

_He sat there like this, close to Frerin's remains and cried and mourned, until his father found him in the early morning hours, having come to his chambers to check on him and finding them empty._

 

 


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli receives unexpected support.

 

 

The next day no date was scheduled, probably because it had once belonged to one of the less honourable alphas no longer part of the courtship feast. Fíli made good of this opportunity and dragged Kíli to the library. The prince was anything but thrilled, complained that he didn't want to go anywhere, – understandable, the brunet must feel judged whenever he left his chambers, – but Fíli remained persistent.

Getting the ordered books from Ori, the young scribe shot Kíli wary glances, causing the prince to hiss at him angrily. Fíli apologised for him, knowing that neither of them had done anything wrong, both victims of the prevalent circumstances. Ori seemed a lot more ready to compromise after the apology, while Kíli glared daggers at Fíli, when the guard led him to an empty part of the library.

Fíli wasn't the only one in need of learning the traditions of the Iron Hills and therefore shoved one of the books towards Kíli.

"What am I supposed to do with that?" the brunet asked, looking at him accusingly.

Fíli rolled his eyes. Yes, he wanted Kíli to be successful, to win against Dáin's dirty little game and yes, he understood Kíli's anger and why he wouldn't open up to him just like that, still, understanding him didn't mean his lack of cooperation and the angry staring had suddenly turned into a pleasant feature.

"Read it, of course. If you know what traditions you are dealing with, the easier it is to use them in your favour if necessary," Fíli explained.

Averting his eyes, Kíli furrowed his brow with resistance. Fíli tried to ignore the inner struggle and acted as if he was deeply absorbed in his own reading. It had to be so difficult, after months of trusting no one, of pushing everyone away, scared they might become a potential threat later, to let go if this wariness, to do what he was told to, because it was reasonable, without  losing his walls of protection at the same time.

Fíli wasn't able to tell if the way he was treating the whole issue was right, but he definitely didn't want to pressure Kíli. He could only assume that the omega believed him to be like everyone else. Just mentioning that he had talked to his mother was something Fíli wanted to avoid. If Kíli thought Fíli had known the whole story since the beginning of his duty, he wouldn't trust him just like that. Would perhaps think he was lying and trying to use his trust like the other people had done of whom Dís had informed him. No, he needed to be careful, needed to encourage Kíli without changing his ways too suddenly, in hopes that when he brought Kíli Dís' letter, he would finally see Fíli's intentions as what they were.

And it seemed to work for now at least, for Kíli enfolded his arms, pulled the book closer and began to read. Concentrating on his book now completely Fíli couldn't suppress the small smile creeping to his lips.

The next hours were spent in silence and Fíli felt a good deal smarter, knowing now the origins of some traditions. He still disagreed with the opinion that alphas were deemed worth more than betas and omegas, but that wasn't anything he could change on his own. If Dáin wanted these traditions to continue to exist, then they would, at the expense of Kíli and so many others. However, Fíli had also discovered loopholes for some of the Iron Hills customs. Even higher born omegas and women were allowed to learn how to fight. They didn't need to be a third or fourth child, like Balin had told him. They weren't allowed to ask to be trained, that much was true, but if it was offered to them by someone willing to teach them, refusing was deemed a great affront and therefore non-acceptable. Fíli wasn't very comfortable with the lack of choice they had even in this matter, but it was at least a small progress.

Kíli could learn. He was allowed. Which was probably why Dwalin had managed to let the prince shoot without worse consequences than being withdrawn from his position as Kíli's guard. So if Fíli would offer to train him, others weren't able to protest. Still, they would have to be sneaky, there was no guarantee Dáin wouldn't simply withdraw Fíli as well.

All those new information had given him food for thought. He would need some time to comprehend it and figure out, how he could use it to both of their benefit.

Leaning back in his chair his attention was brought to something else. While Fíli had finished his book, Kíli hadn't even read through the first third, although his book was much slimmer. The blond was able to his lips moving, finger slowly following every word. It had never occurred to him the prince might have difficulties with reading, it simply wouldn't fit with his view of the world, raised as a prince and taught such skills from a very young age and growing up in Erebor, where education wasn't hard to come by. Even miners knew the usefulness of writing and reading, when it came to protocolling, where which gems could be found and so on. But when he thought back of what he'd seen of Kíli's home and old room, then indeed, he couldn't remember seeing any books.

Dís must've taught him the basics, but without the resources for practise, reading and writing were rather scary. And with deciphering handwriting, the only way possible to fill books, the task of reading had to be ten times harder. Fíli felt a pang of sympathy for the brunet at the thought, but also a strange sense of pride, for even though it had to be far more difficult than he could ever imagine, Kíli didn't give up, reading word after word after word.

Fíli watched him for some time, noticing that the prince was always furrowing his brow if he couldn't decipher a word at the first or second try. The current one, however, seemed a terrible enemy. Kíli stared at it with a mixture of frustration and stubbornness, the glares weren't able to urge the word to surrender, though.

"If you need help, you can just ask," Fíli carefully addressed the brunet.

The prince's head jerked upwards, facing him with a furious expression.

"I don't need help! I know very well how to read!" Kíli snapped.

"I didn't say you couldn't, I just said it's okay to ask. There is nothing wrong with that," he explained calmly.

Once again he spotted the struggle on Kíli's features, an inner fight, pondering if it might hurt him in the future if he showed any kind of weakness right now. Fíli's anger at Dáin was only increased at that sight. Drilling a lad until he was constantly wary, causing him to question every kind gesture, was sick and unforgivable. And all of this just for a little bit of power, as if he, as the king, hadn't already plenty of it.

Eventually a yielding expression evolved on Kíli's face and he pushed the book towards Fíli, pointing at one of the words.

"What's this word?"

Leaning over the table to catch a glimpse at the word he noticed it be rather long, written in a squiggly handwriting.

"It says _arrangements_ ," a voice said before Fíli was able to answer, causing both, the prince and his guard, to turn around.

Ori was standing beside their table, arms laden with books, which he was obviously trying to put back into their shelves, when he'd noticed their conversation.

"I'm sorry, Master Sudri's handwriting is rather hard to decipher sometimes."

"No, it's fine! I can read it just fine, it's no big deal. It was just this one word," Kíli hurriedly explained.

Since he understood the reason behind the brunet strange behaviour, it pained Fíli to see him like this. Ori, with his knitted scarf and warm eyes, was probably the least threatening looking person under those mountains and still Kíli felt like protecting himself.

"Oh, then you are way better than me. I can't stand his handwriting for very long and always go for a copy written by someone, whose writing is less difficult to read."

"There are copies like that?" Kíli wondered quietly.

"Of course, let me get you one. I tell you, you won't ever want to read Sudri's books again! Just don't tell him, I said that," Ori said with a bright smile and before Kíli was able to protest, the young scribe had already left.

It didn't take long for him to return, handing the prince the copy and beaming proudly, when Kíli's barely noticeable thanks reached his ears. The library was quiet enough, though, so it wasn't lost on Fíli and the redhead. And indeed, this book was easier to read, even the blond glancing at it back to front could make out every word.

Kíli continued reading in it, where he'd stopped in the other one. At first glance it seemed like the prince was making good progress now.

"Fíli," Ori called him some time later. "I think I've found another book that could interest you. Do you want to have a look at it?"

The look on the scribes face indicated that he simply wanted to talk to him away from Kíli, thankfully the brunet was still busy with his book.

"I always thought he is simply cruel," Ori told him in a low voice, when Fíli joined him some metres away from the table. "But he is actually hurting, isn't he?"

"How did you-"

Fíli didn't think of himself as a very observant person, still he had noticed something wasn't right about Kíli's situation, but in the end it had taken Dís explaining everything, for the blond to notice what the prince's anger was related to. Ori, on the other hand, had only walked past one conversation and had the other figured out already.

"One of my brothers is a bit like him. He doesn't want us to see he is in pain and therefore lashes out, hoping we won't care then. But we do, of course, he is our brother, how could we not?"

Well, that certainly explained some things, but the scribe wasn't finished yet.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Fíli smiled.

"I think you already have."

Distancing Kíli's trouble from his own shortcomings and diverting them to the writer of the book, protecting him from feelings of shame and deficiency.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Since Fíli started helping him, Kíli was a lot more agreeable, occasionally there would still be words of spite and insults thrown around, but they weren't as frequent anymore as in the beginning. Or the blond had just become more forgiving, since knowing Kíli's story.

On his next free day, Fíli headed to the aviary, intending on finally sending another letter to his father. He knew Balin had kept the king of Erebor updated, but he could hardly believe how fast the last weeks had passed and that he hadn't even managed to write him again, let alone send a few lines. The guilt at this omission was gnawing at him. His father probably worried about him, recalling the state he had been in when leaving Erebor and the least he deserved was a letter every two weeks and Fíli hadn't even managed this.

Being Kíli's guard had turned out to be far more trying than expected, especially since it was only partly Kíli's fault. He hadn't as often thought of Frerin during the last couple of weeks as he had in Erebor, a knowledge that made him feel terrible whenever he got aware of it. Of course he wasn't forgetting him, just because he didn't think of him that often, but it still felt wrong, as if he shamed his betrothed’s memory with such behaviour.

After sending the letter with one of the many ravens, the world seemed a little better, even though his mind was still with Frerin.

His next destination was the tavern Dís worked at and where a letter for Kíli was supposed wait. The dwarrowdam had to be assigned for a shift in the evening, since Fíli wasn't able to spot her anywhere. Fíli decided that he could as well have lunch now that he was here and took a seat close to the bar.

The tavern was once again well-patronised and the omega and the dwarrowdam, whose braids indicated she was married to Bombur, were constantly busy with serving. Then and again even Bombur stepped out of the kitchen and brought a plate to a table. Fíli belonged to one of those lucky dwarves, although he knew in his case it was because of the folded piece of parchment the red-haired alpha handed to him discreetly. The blond thanked him, shoving the letter into an inside pocket of his coat, behind a set of knives so it would hopefully be safe even from pilferers.

The food was once again delicious and so he left a generous tip that was hopefully also going to act as a little compensation for the risk they were taking with passing on letters between Kíli and Dís. From what the brunet's mother had told him and the way Bofur had reacted, he could guess that they had a soft spot for the prince and were worried about him, defying the king was dangerous, however, and this was exactly what they were doing right now.

He had high hopes for a first decent conversation with Kíli, when he stepped out of the tavern and returned to the prince’s chambers. Dwalin seemed surprised to see him coming back so soon and truth be told, the other dwarf’s presence was something Fíli hadn’t considered.

“You are back so soon. Have you forgotten something?” Dwalin asked.

Fíli tried to shrug nonchalantly.

“Went out of things to do, so I figured I could just as well come back.”

Dwalin wasn’t buying it. If his expression wasn’t evidence enough, his folded arms left no room for speculations.

“Usually people find something to entertain themselves with, if it means staying away from Kíli.”

Of course, he would figure it out. The guard knew Kíli’s story and while there were others, who did as well, they usually treated the prince cruelly or with a good deal of disdain. So naturally there was only one explanation as to why Fíli suddenly didn’t mind Kíli’s company all of a sudden.

Yet, while Dwalin had tried to help Kíli in the past, the way he stared at him was rather unnerving.

“Oh, come on Dwalin,” he hissed, keeping his voice low. They were alone in the living area of the quarters, which meant Kíli was probably once again spending time in his room, but he didn’t really need to hear the discussion that would, beyond doubt, follow. Besides, if Kíli would be able to listen to them, people outside of the chambers might as well. Getting loud now would be a bad idea, even though Fíli wanted with the lack of understanding Dwalin offered him. “You were the one telling me Dáin didn’t make things easy for Kíli. Balin said he is a good lad at heart. Why would it be bad for me to know the truth? A truth you should’ve told me a long time ago!”

“And what would you have done with that knowledge?”

“Tried to help him, of course! Right from the start! Show him that he doesn’t need to be scared of me, that he can trust me!” Fíli replied, clenching his fists.

“See, and this is the problem,” Dwalin said with a sigh. “Don’t help him, Fíli.”

The blond was too stunned to react at first, could only stare in disbelief at the friend of father, while wondering if he’d heard correctly.

“What the hell, Dwalin?”

Enfolding his arms the half-bald man took a step towards him, as if to calm him.

“Don’t misunderstand. Kíli deserves so much better than what Dáin is doing to him. But what do you think will happen if you help him and the king realises what you are doing? What will happen if your true identity is revealed?”

Fíli grimaced.

“I know what you are hinting at. But it’s my doing and not that of my father, Dáin can’t-“

“Dáin isn’t who he once was. Since the death of his son he has become unpredictable. He will see your involvement as treason and Thorin as the initiator. You are a good lad, Fíli, but for your own safety you need to back down.”

He saw the sincere worry in Dwalin’s eyes directed at him. Thorin was Dwalin’s oldest friend. He and Balin were here to strengthen the bond between Erebor and the Iron Hills, just like Glóin was in Erebor, sent by Dáin. Peace and trading agreements both kingdoms benefited from had arisen from the strong alliance between Dáin and Fíli’s father. He imagined what it might do, saw greater poverty befall the Iron Hills. Saw a war approaching, hitting not only the dwarves but also the people of Dale.

But Dáin still had a court and if Fíli argued with the traditions, explaining what he did with the loopholes that gave the folk safety in so many fields… surely they would stop Dáin from doing anything rash? Yet, the ties between the kingdoms might never recover, regardless of peace or war following, if Fíli’s actions were discovered.

“I know you mean well, Dwalin,” he began to speak after moments of silence. “But I’m going to help Kíli.”

This wasn’t how he was raised. His father had taught him every dwarf…, _every life_ was valuable. Fíli thought of his own omega father. He hadn’t known him, but wondered how he would’ve acted. The way Thorin had always spoken of him, though, told the blond he would at least been disgusted by how the Iron Hills treated omegas, betas and women. He thought of Frerin, how he might’ve turned out in an environment such as this. Would his spirit have been broken by terrible laws? Would he have gone hungry all his life?

“Fíli, you can’t-“

“You will have to report me to Dáin, if you want me to stop,” Fíli knew it was a dangerous game he was playing right now. He could only hope the other’s loyalty wasn’t belonging to the kingdom he was hoping to save, but to the people living in it. “I’m not a child anymore. I can make my own decisions and I choose to help Kíli.”

Dwalin studied him intently, Fíli not once breaking eye contact, meeting the other’s gaze without fear.

“Promise me to be careful,” Dwalin demanded eventually, shoulders slumping in defeat.

It felt as if a string had been cut, relaxing his far too tense body and allowing him to breathe easily once again.

“I will,” he assured his father’s friend.

It would certainly be easier to work together, but Fíli didn’t want to push his luck. Dwalin had probably only agreed to keep his actions a secret, because he didn’t want to harm him or Erebor.

“So I guess you don’t need me around anymore?”

“There is something I need to talk about with Kíli,” he replied with a nod.

The alpha sighed once again, but accepted his decision and left Fíli to his duty. Cursing as soon as the door fell shut, the blond ruffled through his hair in frustration, ruining the braids in the process. He had been too careless. This couldn’t happen again, this time it was Dwalin, on whose loyalty he luckily could count. Others, though, might not be so understanding. But first things first.

Fíli pulled the letter from his pocket and headed to Kíli’s room. Knocking at his door he was immediately greeted with a very disgruntled: “What?!”

Kíli’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as he spotted Fíli. It seemed as if he’d been sitting on his bed for a while, if the rumpled sheets were anything to go by, but there were no utensils as a pastime scattered around. Almost as if Kíli had merely sat there to stare at the ceiling. It was the first time the blond truly wondered how the prince spent all his free time. The dates for the courtship feast aside, there weren’t any important meetings he had to attend. Training was forbidden and with his difficulties in reading he probably didn’t go for a book. Company wasn’t something he seemed to like either, rather requesting solitude to protect himself from potential threats. Life here had to be so dull and boring for him and above it hovered the promise of a terrible future. It was the right choice to tell Dwalin off.

“Here,” Fíli offered him the letter.

Kíli glanced at it, but made no move to reach for the piece of parchment.

“What is this?”

“It’s from your mother,” Fíli explained.

Every bit of colour drained from the prince’s features, if it was of shock or fear the blond couldn’t really tell. The letter was faster snatched from his fingers than the guard could react, still Kíli just pressed it to his chest, staring at Fíli with a mixture of horror and disbelief.

“Take all the time you need to read it,” he said, noticing the other trembling slightly. That was never a good sign. Fíli was aware that he did a poor job at explaining, but he wanted to defer possible questions until later. Kíli should read first, then he could ask. “But afterwards we should talk.”

Giving Kíli the privacy he deserved Fíli walked out of the room, took a seat in the living room and undid his unruly braids. His gaze wandered to the beads thoughtfully. Frerin would’ve agreed with his decision, wouldn’t he? He didn’t know why he asked himself that question, didn’t even know why the answer wouldn’t come to him in a heartbeat. Of course Frerin would agree.

He shook his head. Silly thoughts. Still, having someone’s support in this matter would be nice. Sure Dwalin wasn’t going to rat on him and Ori had been very eager to help after understanding part of Kíli’s struggles and of course there was Dís, but… they felt all so far away. All of a sudden Fíli felt very alone, probably a feeling the omega was long since used to. Sticking together seemed all the more important now. He could only hope it would work out after their conversation.

Reading the letter took its time. Fíli finished braiding his hair and then waited and waited and waited.

At last the door to Kíli’s room opened and the brunet joined him, his eyes bloodshot. Kíli had been crying. Fíli didn’t comment on it and tried to ignore that the brunet decided to lean against a wall in a safe distance, folding his arms in front of his chest as if in need of protection.

“I don’t trust you,” the prince began before Fíli could dispel the silence. “This letter doesn’t change anything.”

He sighed. Well, of course it would’ve been easy to convince him just like that. He still had to try, though.

“I didn’t know anything about your situation, when I came here.”

“Nonsense! Everyone working for Dáin knows,” Kíli growled, the familiar anger back in his voice, his hands holding on so tight to his folded arms, Fíli wouldn’t be surprised if they left bruises.

“But I’m not from here. I’m from Erebor-“

“Who are allies of the Iron Hills.”

“Yes, but-“

“Do you think me stupid? I know what you are trying to do! I’ve been there already! People pretending to be my friends, just so they could win Dáin’s favour. I’m sick of people like you!”

He had been hurt… so deeply hurt, trusting others was a luxury he didn’t allow himself anymore. Despite sounding still furious Fíli was now able to detect the anguish in the other’s features, a pain he couldn’t hide any longer beneath the mask of wrath.

“I had no idea, when I came here,” Fíli tried again, calmer this time, voice gentle and soft. “I thought you were just a spoilt, angry child, but I found your mother and she told me what happened and I chose to help you.”

Kíli shook his head forcefully, as if he wanted to block out the alpha’s words.

“Yes, Erebor and the Iron Hills are allies, but in Erebor we handle things differently. We don’t cast people out just because they want to marry someone they love. In Erebor it doesn’t matter who you are, alpha, beta, omega, woman, we are all equal. That’s how I was raised and just letting Dáin do this to you goes against everything I believe. And I will not stand here and watch you suffer, not if I can help it.”

The silence returned, strong and deafening. Kíli was shaking slightly, fingers still attempting to drill into his arms, lips forming a thin line and pressed himself against the wall, as if he hoped they could become one, as if it would offer some kind of protection. He looked utterly vulnerable.

“I don’t trust you,” the prince whispered at last.

Fíli nodded. Even though he had hoped for a different outcome, it was understandable.

“It’s all right. I will just have to show you then, that you can.”

 

 


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next date is due.

 

 

_Kíli had never been deemed attractive by dwarven standards. His body too slender, cheekbones too high, a beard that wouldn’t grow, regardless of how much he tried, never coming off with more than stubbles. But what he lacked on the outside, he made up for with his talents. He was a great hunter, sharing his kill with other dwarves, cheeks hollow with hunger, when he once again brought home more than they could eat without the fear of spoilage._

_His hands were talented as well, many dwarves eager to see a lad like him in their businesses. Kíli might never be beautiful, but he had been respected and loved among the little community of poor miners, smiths and toymakers. Perhaps life could be better, but the brunet couldn’t complain about much, was genuinely happy – a few things aside – and therefore didn’t dream of more._

_Until Thorin Stonehelm died and everything was turned upside down. He remembered fighting when the guards came, remembered his mother trying to push them off of him, remembered his father sitting at the table, face buried in his hands and accepting the king’s wish with defeat… far too fast in Kíli’s opinion._

_He was scared, but Balin and Dwalin were there. Kíli didn’t know the older of the brothers well, Dwalin, however, had sometimes trained with him, when Weig was working in the mine. He trusted Dwalin and Balin seemed nice enough. He hoped they would find a way to convince the king to drop the claim on him._

_Aida was his downfall. The noble lass approached him during the first week he spent in the royal wing. Up to this point he hadn’t been constantly guarded, only forbidden to leave the wing and while he wandered through the endless hallways he’d met her. She listened to him, reassured him, and gasped with shock at all the right places. She introduced him to her friends, who seemed equally enraged after hearing his story. Kíli truly believed they would help him._

_Instead, when he tried to run, they betrayed him. Not before making him belief he could actually do it, though. Aida helped him to reach the main gate and there they’d already waited for him. The lass snickered as if it was a game. Kíli was caught and trapped and punished._

_It didn’t end this day. He was still hurting from the harsh treatment after his attempted escape, when he met her and her friends on the hallway again. Later Dwalin told him they were the children of the court members, which was way they could roam the royal wings freely. That day, however, they laughed. Used all the information they had gained through him, to make fun of him. They mocked, pushed him around – all so much stronger then him, mostly trained alphas – insulted his parents and everything that meant something to him. He was punched, humiliated and left on the floor as a broken, bloody mess._

_The servants weren’t much different, facing him with spite and arrogance, obviously believing to be cut above him. The court stared at him as if he was an insect they would like to squelch, not hiding the fact that they saw his only worth in bearing an alpha heir. Dáin was loud and prone to anger. Although Kíli tried to keep his head low and act submissive it didn’t really help, made the mocking only worse. Every little bit of trust and kindness he offered was repaid with cruelty and laughter._

_The second time he tried to run failed as well and from that day on Dwalin became his bodyguard. When his mother was finally allowed to see him and found a way to save him from becoming the spouse of a chieftain in the Grey Mountains, something inside him snapped when she was made to leave again, this time with the promise of eternal separation._

_He became angry in a way he never had before and it scared the servants, who had mocked him not long ago. And he used that knowledge. Used it to punish them, to scare them and also realised that they obeyed him when he reminded them of his position._

_His anger transformed into his protection, gave him strength to hold on to, to even face Dáin and the court. In the beginning Dwalin supported him with pleasure, when he demanded the courts children to be punished, but his guard's eagerness died with the time and even the occasions he took Kíli outside, so he could shoot with his bow, couldn’t chase away the bitterness inside him at Dwalin’s emerging passivity._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Fíli bounced back easily, even after the first disappointment. He didn’t hold it against Kíli, after all, what he’d been through must’ve been pretty terrible and of course gaining his trust therefore would take time. For a second he’d wondered why Dís hadn’t mentioned his trustworthiness in her letter, but soon discarded that thought. Dís was smarter than just writing about his involvement in a piece of parchment that might fall into the wrong hands.

Kíli was less aggressive in the days following, though and accepted Fíli’s lectures about courtly behaviour. Perhaps he just made use of the good opportunity the alpha’s support provided, without intending on ever trusting him. But it was also possible that a part of the prince was ready to leave the loneliness behind and longed for a friend in this toxic environment.

A week passed like that, Fíli teaching and Kíli absorbing all those new information like a sponge. Although he wasn’t able to get everything right at the first try, the brunet’s willingness to learn helped him a great deal during the next dates with his suitors. Occasionally the prince would hiss at him with spite, but this was ceasing gradually. Now that some things were out in the open between them, Kíli didn’t seem to feel the need to push him away anymore, he’d made his position pretty clear already days ago.

Fíli was looking forward to Arik’s and Kíli’s next meeting. So far the alpha appeared like he genuinely cared for the prince. Needless to say, there were other kind suitors as well, but none of them so careful of the omega’s precarious situation. He was gentle and patient and spared his intended the crude jokes others were cracking in Kíli’s presence or boasting about their victory in skirmishes with orcs. They certainly were no bad dwarves per se, but they weren’t able to lure that soft smile to the brunet’s features that fit him so well.

Huh…

The guard halted in his thoughts.

When had he come to like Kíli’s rare smiles?

The courting day was supposed to take place on the training fields. Unlike the first time they had come here to meet Gunar, however, Fíli was confident that this wouldn’t be a date where an alpha wanted to brag about his strength, this simply wasn’t like the Arik they had gotten to meet so far.

Whatever the alpha had planned for this day, though, he was running late. The nervousness on Kíli’s features was unable to miss, probably coming with the memories of what happened the last time a suitor hadn’t shown up at this place. Fíli wasn’t too worried just now. Arik had given them no reason to assume he’d suddenly come to dislike the prince, something must’ve simply detained him.

To distract the brunet the guard gave him a hint to follow him, which the omega did without protesting. In a less occupied part of the field Fíli handed the prince one of his twin swords.

“Have you ever used a sword before?” Fíli asked at the unsure look Kíli cast at the blade. At least he had no trouble with holding a weapon, which a lot of beginners tended to have, but perhaps it was just his knack for archery to come in handy right now.

“A long time ago,” the prince replied eventually.

“Which is obviously far too long. Let’s train a bit, while we wait.”

It first it seemed like Kíli would decline, in the end, however, he took up a defensive stance. His footing looked good, but he had trouble to get the right grip at the sword. In that moment it became obvious that the prince was used to a two-handed sword and that Fíli’s one-handed one irritated him.

“Let’s begin with something easy, shall we? I attack and you parry.”

Attacking, as soon as the other consented with a nod, Fíli went for one of Kíli’s legs. The brunet’s reflexes were slow, since the alpha was going easy on him, though, he still had no trouble to avert the blow. The swords clashed together, Kíli’s left hand coming up to support the right around the unfamiliar hilt.

“Good,” Fíli praised him. As far as he knew the prince was mostly a hunter and not much of a swordsman and keeping his long inactivity in mind, he’d actually reacted pretty well. “Let’s do this again, this time I want you to attack me.”

Like that it continued for a while, both of them taking turns with offensive and defensive moves. What Kíli was lacking in strength, he compensated with his agility. His footwork was formidable and probably came from years of hunting. Avoiding sounds, careful steps without eyes leaving the prey, switching at a moment’s notice into a run to catch a flying animal, bringing himself in the right position to shoot without thinking… even months of inactivity couldn’t completely exterminate movements a body had perfected over years. Kíli had so much potential and could be a great warrior with the right training. It would be a shame allowing it to go to waste. On the other hand, though, Fíli was certain that quite a lot more dwarves with the same capabilities lived here, but who would never get the chance to try.

“I see you’ve already started without me,” Arik’s cheerful voice interrupted them, when the blond had just readied himself for another attack.

“I offered to teach him,” Fíli explained instantly. He couldn’t say if Arik was one of those people staying true to the traditions and therefore, just to play it safe, he hinted at a less common fact in the customs of the Iron Hills to protect the brunet from possible shame. “If we had to wait, we could as well make use of the time.”

“I apologise for my lateness, my younger brother had trouble with one of his tutors and was in need of a mediator,” Arik said, shooting Kíli an apologetic smile, before turning his attention back to Fíli. “Mind if I take over?” He patted the hilt of his own sword, resting at his belt.

Fíli shook his head and sheathed his sword.

“Not at all.”

Arik took his place and bowed to Kíli. Then they engaged in a friendly competition. The alpha seemed mindful of the brunet’s inexperience as they danced around each other, dealt blows, blocked, dodged and teased, then and again drawing a winded laugh from the other.

Fíli’s eyes followed the training dwarves attentively, ready to interfere if one of them would got carried away in their enthusiasm. Kíli tired a lot faster, his movements became sluggish with time, sweat was pouring from his brow and he messed up his footwork more often, but he seemed determined to go on, to show Arik that he could keep up with him. If this attitude wasn’t the honouring of strength the courtship feast demanded than Fíli couldn’t say what fit into this category.

Kíli charged towards Arik once again. This time something in the alpha’s demeanour had shifted. Fíli took a worried step forward, unable to tell what caused this sudden change. Arik evaded the blow and in a swift motion grabbed the prince’s arm, pulling him to his chest and capturing the omega’s lips in a heated kiss, swallowing his heavy breaths. Fíli watched in stunned silence as Kíli’s body relaxed in the other’s arms, hesitantly returning the kiss.

His heart was beating strangely fast at the sight. Bodies pressing together, sword hands in a strange angle to prevent them from hurting the other with a blade. It burned to see them like this, just watching and not being the one to hold… to hold… to hold Frerin.

Fíli shook his head. Cupping one of the beads he took a deep breath, pushing the feelings of hurt and loneliness away, straightened his shoulders and harrumphed loudly.

This seemed to pull the dwarves out of their trance. Breaking the kiss they met his stern expression sheepishly. Arik took a careful step back.

“Pardon!” the alpha coughed with embarrassment. “I couldn’t help it. You-,“ and with that he turned to Kíli, “you looked so happy and at ease, I just had to kiss you. I’m sorry for my inappropriate actions.”

“It’s not proper, Master Arik,” Fíli reminded him, reaping a glare by Kíli. “Please contain your desire the next time, in the interest of the courtship feast.”

“Of course!” the alpha was fast to agree. “I’m so very sorry.”

The rest of the date passed in appropriate modesty, even though the longing glances Kíli cast as his suitor made it pretty obvious that he wouldn’t mind being kissed again. In the meantime Fíli fought with the rekindled hurt of loss devouring his heart and the knowledge that, when everything of this was over, he would return to empty chambers, pregnant with the ghost of the past.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next dinner held a rather worrisome surprise. For when Fíli and Kíli reached the dining hall, Dáin was already there, chatting with the suitor and his family in such a cheerful way Fíli had never thought possible. It irritated the blond more than he was able to admit to himself. Over the last weeks Dáin hadn’t shown any interest in Kíli, let alone observing the etiquette in joining the meals as Kíli’s guardian. He briefly wondered if one of the servants might have informed the king about the success of the last dinner, which must’ve come as a shock for the king, considering he hadn’t ensured for his nephew to be prepared for anything considering courtly manners.

Kíli froze at the sight and needed a gently push from his guard to greet the guests. During the common small talk Dáin acted almost fatherly, whereas the prince lacked his smiles and enthusiasm, he usually hadn’t trouble displaying in the company of a suitor. Instead he was sullenly and quiet.

Of course the family of the courting alpha picked up on this behaviour, Fíli could already see the silent judgement they passed on him to one another with their gazes, about him not acknowledging their attendance with the right amount of rapture. Where Arik’s parents had adored Kíli, these dwarves had formed their opinion and it wasn’t good. Fíli was forced to watch, unable to guide Kíli without anyone noticing.

At least the repeated practise with the cutlery paid well. Despite the lack of any faux pas, though, it was obvious that Kíli’s continuing aloofness wasn’t very well received. Fíli couldn’t blame the prince. He had no real way of protecting himself should the king try to sabotage the dinner, without disparaging himself in the process and therefore remained careful and endured the glances, Dáin cast at him regularly during the dinner, with silence. Unfortunately Kíli had no chance of winning this cruel game. Standing up to Dáin would do more harm than good, but acting as submissive as he did right now didn’t help either, since it made him look like he wasn’t interested in the suitor and his family.

With a queasy feeling in his stomach Fíli realised that Dáin could easily sabotage the courtship feast whenever he wanted, just his presence was enough. The king had probably hoped Kíli’s inexperience would ruin his chances on its own, but then Fíli had decided to intervene.

However, the cruel game the king was playing wasn’t over just yet. This dinner was a setback, helping Fíli to learn and prepare the prince for the next one better.

 

 


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli accompanies Kíli to another date.

 

 

After the awful dinner another suitor retracted his desire to court Kíli. Eleven alphas were left with whom the prince met in the following weeks. Dáin was a constant component during the dinner now, only once had the king to attend urgent business and excused himself. In that time Fíli stayed true to his word to Kíli. He taught the brunet about nobility, how to coat even the cruellest insult into the sweetest words and watched proudly how the omega benefitted from it and drew a resentful frown to Dáin’s brow.

Kíli felt the change as well, the sudden control he had gained through Fíli’s lessons and stubbornness in dealing with him. He no longer needed his anger for protection, of course, he would still mess some things up and it wasn’t more than a crash course, since there was no way the prince could learn within a few month, what Fíli and other dwarves had all their lives, but the helplessness had reduced and with it the insults and hateful glares.

Sometimes Kíli would even crack jokes while Fíli was teaching him, easing the atmosphere and luring a bright smile to the blond’s features. It happened with increasing frequency the more time they spent together. The trust, slowly emerging, was still fragile and Kíli didn’t believe his intentions enough to give him a letter to Dís in return, but the dwarrowdam wrote to her son regularly and Fíli gladly delivered them. They were becoming friends and even though the alpha would’ve wished for the other’s distrust to cease, he couldn’t really blame him for holding on to it. Nevertheless, it hurt then and again, knowing that all his effort was tardy in rewarding.

Those feelings were all compensated with the glimpses at the real Kíli he was allowed to catch more and more often. He finally saw the dwarf Bofur, Bombur and Dís loved so much. His smiles carried something adorably contagious, so that Fíli couldn’t help but smile as well as soon as he spotted the corners of the other’s mouth rising. A good lad at heart, indeed.

During his free days Fíli went to the library, chatted with Ori and accepted an invitation to have tea with the scribe and his brother, Dori. A letter by his father arrived to which he answered much faster this time. He didn’t want to get used to avoiding Balin and Dwalin, at the moment, though, it felt like the only right choice. Balin had tried to give him the same lecture as Dwalin, just that the beta was a lot more obstinate, talking about the good of their kingdoms and what might happen if Fíli continued his selfish act. It went without saying that the blond had left at one point, ignoring the calls of his name.

He got it. He truly did. Balin was loyal to Thorin and Dáin and wanted what was best for both kingdoms. He didn’t want to see Kíli suffer, but he had weighed up the prince’s wellbeing against the one of their people and chosen the quantity, which also fell in line with the traditions of this place. Fíli couldn’t do it, valued the customs of his home and wasn’t able to abandon Kíli to misery just like that.

The fronts were hardened.

Kíli met Sindre a few days later, the dwarf with the red beard, who had received one of the first beads the prince had given away at the beginning of the courtship feast. So far he’d appeared like a decent alpha as well, planning small and lovely dates like Arik had done, whose last courting day wasn’t so far away either. Now that Kíli seemed to warm up to him and with Fíli constantly teaching him things, the time went by in a flash.

So far Kíli and Sindre had shared a Cider at the market before heading to the stables and riding some rams through the mountain. Then there was a dinner, which had went surprisingly well in Dáin’s presence and another day they had visited a tea shop. Although Fíli had to admit that not even the smell of the tea there had been able to compete with what Dori served his customers. Today their last date was set up, unless the brunet chose this alpha at the end of the courtship feast.

Sindre seemed like a good guy, there was no arguing against it, but after seeing the prince interact with all those different kind of alphas, gentle, enthusiastic, rude, silent and grumpy, Fíli sensed that Kíli had already come to a decision and it wasn’t in Sindre’s favour. However, a courtship feast was a courtship feast and couldn’t come to an end sooner. Every alpha deserved the same respect and the four honours of Mahal, whereas the fifth belonged only to the future betrothed, as it had naturalised with time.

Today the dwarves celebrated the festival of lights, a feast established after the dwarves had lost Khazad-dûm, it was a promise that there was always hope, even in dark times, for the expelled dwarves had found shelter, a warm meal and a new home among their kind. Thus the people here had been busy with decorating during the last week and now dozen of lampions illuminated the streets. There were booths serving drinks, food and little jewellery themed as the spirit of the festival. There was music, dancing and singing and among all the people, coming to celebrate this day that just wanted to have fun, the presence of the prince was ignored within their excitement, which allowed Kíli and his suitor to blend in without trouble.

“The atmosphere here is truly wonderful. In the parts of the Iron Hills where I live it’s always so crowded, I can barely enjoy the festival,” Sindre said as they watched a children’s pageant.

Dwarflings clothed in traditional costumes were walking with beautiful lampions down the street, singing an ancient song heavy with the longing for a safe place to stay, despite the high, clear voices. Some of them were so small their parents accompanied them, others old enough to hold a torch, instead of a lampion made of thin paper and dangling from a stick.

A smile adorned the prince’s features as he watched the smiling children, admiring the lampions while trying not to mess up the lyrics.

“Yes, it’s-,“ the brunet stopped mid-sentence, causing Fíli to follow his gaze were a young boy had stumbled over his little feet. His face distorted as the first sobs erupted from the small dwarfling, but his mother reacted fast, lifted him into her arms and soothed him with soundless words, smiling softly as she rocked him.

Fíli cast a worried glance at the brunet, knowing how much the omega had to miss his mother. One of his few allies besides Fíli. The urge to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly was barely resistible.

Kíli recovered fast, though, blinking away whatever memories might have bombarded him. “It’s lovely,” he continued before it became too conspicuous.

It was the first time Fíli truly realised that he’d started to admire Kíli. Since the revelation of his fate the blond had felt a good deal more sympathetic towards the prince, had begun to enjoy his company and value his smiles, which weren’t so rare anymore since their talk. To find the energy to endure everything he was confronted with and proceeding with this date as if the battle inside him didn’t exist, spoke of great strength and a worthy future consort. The dwarves courting him could count themselves lucky, if they were to be chosen by the prince.

They watched the pageant until it had passed by and afterwards strolled over the festival ground. It was already late and the date couldn’t continue for much longer, both Kíli and his suitor had appointments set up for the next day. The prince would meet another suitor, while Sindre had to oversee a delivery of goods for the great demanded tailor shop of his father.

Yet, the alpha stopped his intended at a little area that had been set up to act as a dance floor. A couple of dwarves were dancing to a merry song. Sindre’s eyes followed their movements for a second, ere he suddenly bowed to Kíli and offered his hand.

“May I have this dance?” he asked with a smile.

“Unfortunately I have to decline. I’m very sorry, but I don’t dance.”

Sindre looked disappointed, but Kíli’s gentle reply kept him from being offended.

Fíli waited until they had said goodbye and they lost sight of the suitor in the crowd, before turning his attention to Kíli.

“You don’t know how to dance, do you?” he wondered carefully.

A cautious glance was shot in his direction, as Kíli liked to do since they had stopped hating each other. Fíli assumed that it had something to do with the brunet not completely trusting him yet, but couldn’t be sure and if he asked, there probably wouldn’t follow an honest answer.

Eventually, though, the prince nodded.

“I mean,” he hurriedly added, “I know some dances, but… but I don’t think they are what _they_ want.”

“Mh,” Fíli mused.

This was truly a factor Fíli hadn’t thought of so far. Who knew how much more he was overlooking just because it felt naturally to him. Of course, it was impossible to teach Kíli everything he needed to know within barely two months, although that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to show him as much as possible.

“Come, let me show you,” he held his hand out to Kíli, just like Sindre had done mere minutes ago.

The way the prince stared at his hand indicated he was waiting for it to grow teeth and bite him, should he come too close.

"We can try it another day," Fíli relented. "I just think it would be easier with music."

Kíli nictitated and took a deep breath. The guard noticed how he swallowed hard. But at last the prince reached for his hand this time. He didn't hesitate, gently leading him to the dance floor.

There was a bit confusion on Kíli's part, since he couldn't decide where to put his hands. Fíli didn't comment on it, simply tapped against his shoulder and intertwining the fingers of the other hand with his own.  The brunet understood the hint and nervously positioned himself opposite to Fíli. The hand Fíli was holding was sweating. He also thought to feel it trembling.

"Don't worry," he told him softly over the sounds of music. "I will lead, you just follow my steps. It will be alright."

Even though Kíli nodded, he didn't look the least reassured. Determination settled deep inside the alpha. He would chase that fear away, show him that he didn't need to be scared, that it wasn't as bad as he seemed to believe. Taking the first step he let his body slowly fall into the rhythm, pulling the brunet gently along.

"Try to watch my feet," he advised the prince, as the other stumbled along at the first steps.

Kíli nodded, his gaze dropping downwards and brow turning into an intense frown. And with time, what started as clumsy movements and a far too stiff body, slowly melted into flowing steps and muscles relaxing. Kíli seemed to be a natural and didn't need much to understand what he was doing. Fíli hadn't seen any instruments in the brunet's room when he'd visited Dís, but suddenly had no doubts that Kíli knew how to play at least one. His sense of rhythm was formidable.

His dance partner noticed it as well, gaining confidence with every twist and smooth movement, causing their bodies to move as one. It was the first time the prince didn't have any troubles with learning something useful for his current position, he just watched and followed Fíli's example and soon chose to meet blue eyes.

Breath hitching, at the bright smile, Fíli could've sworn his heart missed a beat. This wasn't the careful or soft smile Kíli's usually displayed. This one was wide, reached his eyes and made them sparkle in the light of the lanterns. There was no nervousness in his features, no anger, no fear, simply joy. Unable to suppress how much this sight pleased him, Fíli grinned.

Around them some of the other dancing dwarves glanced at them with surprise and perhaps it should worry him. But he didn't want to think what might happen if someone reported what they saw to Dáin. The people here finally saw a sight of the prince they hadn't known existed, which would hopefully gain him some respect and this was far more important than the king's reaction.

"Fíli," the brunet pulled him from his thoughts.

Looking at him expectantly, he waited for him to continue. Whatever it was, it seemed to be difficult to get the words out. Eventually, though, he heaved a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry." Fíli’s eyes widened with disbelief. Of all the things he had expected to hear, this hadn't been amongst them. "I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I thought...," he swallowed, "I thought you were like them... I thought," another painful bobbing of his larynx, "you were going to humiliate me like everyone has done before. I'm sorry I misjudged you."

It was hard to do something else but stare and comprehend that Kíli had just apologised to him, was opening up to him, truly trusting him. The nervous look on the other's features, though, urged him to shake off the first surprise.

"It's all right. I understand why you couldn't help it and am not mad at you. But if it helps, then I accept your apology," Fíli explained with a smile.

And it seemed to be the right thing to say, because relief flooded over Kíli's expression.

“I have to apologise as well. I treated you terribly.”

“Well, I kind of deserved it,” Kíli said sheepishly.

“Perhaps,” Fíli replied. “I’m still sorry, though.”

“All right, if it helps, then I accept your apology,” Kíli mimicked his words with a smirk, drawing a bright laugh from the blond’s throat.

Afterwards they silently followed the rhythm of the music until late at night, as long as the dwarves played music. They didn't care for the appointments on the next day. Just enjoyed the company of each other and joked about the dark circles around their eyes on the next morning.

 

 


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli has a surprise for Kíli.

 

 

Sindre resigned his position as a suitor in the courtship feast not much later, although neither Fíli nor Kíli could explain why. The evening at the festival of lights had appeared like it was going well. Perhaps Dáin had a finger in the pie? Whatever it was though, there were only ten suitors left now and Fíli grimaced at the thought. Now, with not even a month left until the day Kíli had to choose his betrothed, the alpha could only hope the feast wasn't sabotaged further.

For Kíli's sake he swallowed his worry and tried to be an encouraging presence at his side. It wouldn't surprise the blond, if the prince lived in a constant state of dread and if he could do something to soothe it, then he would gladly do so.

When he met with Ori and Dori to a cup of tea on his free day, he was already planning a little surprise. He wasn't able to forget the bright smile adorning Kíli's lips during the dance and he wanted to elicit it once more. Even though he'd been by now asked to eat in the same room with him, seeing him laugh freely was still a rare occasion. His smiles were careful, sometimes even burdened with the shadow of a life he'd been forced into.

What had begun as doing the right thing, had over the last weeks turned into an endeavour to make Kíli happy again. If someone would've told Fíli this was going to happen, on the day he'd met the brunet, he would've deemed them mad. Now that he'd come to know Kíli, however, Fíli was able to see what made Bofur so concerned and what was mentioned in Dís story. Kíli was kind and a very gentle soul and deserved better.

Luckily Ori and Dori seemed more than ready to help, when Fíli informed them of Dáin's treatment and Kíli's struggles. At first he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing, found himself even regretting it half-way through the story, despite Ori's helpfulness the other day. Every worry, though, was misplaced. Ori didn't look that surprised, Dori, on the other hand, pressed a hand to his mouth and blinked back tears.

They then told him about the middle brother, Nori, a thief. They knew he was trying to help them, but it came with a price, with injuries and long months in jail. The brothers had good reason to distrust Dáin. But what else were they to do? This was their home, the only they knew, and they weren’t in the possession of enough savings to make a fresh start somewhere else. The huge bid in Dori's shop was misleading, the business wasn't going well and without Ori's work as a librarian and a scribe, keeping in mind Nori's questionable income as well, they wouldn't manage to survive here at all. They saved already quite a lot money with Dori making all of their clothes himself.

It was good to have them as allies, given that Balin and Dwalin didn't want to help him. Fíli just regretted that he couldn't do anything for their situation, it seemed to be the least he should do, but he still maintained the role of a simple guard and even a prince wasn't able to change anything, if he wasn't an alpha and heir to the local throne.

The brothers didn't mind, were glad to help and together they began to work on two plans. One: give Kíli a few hours among people who loved him. Two: get his bow and let him shoot.

If he should be honest, the urge to simply kidnap Kíli and get him out of the Iron Hills grew with every passing day, but despite his initial words to Dwalin, Fíli was of course not trying to spark a war. Helping Kíli adjust was risky, although more or less justifiable through loopholes in the traditions and therefore relatively safe. Leaving the Iron Hills with him completely, on the other hand, would be viewed as an act of treason without doubt and no reasoning with himself that it wouldn't bring ruin to both kingdoms, could convince Fíli otherwise.

"Why can't you get a new quill on your own?" Kíli protested on the day it was finally time to put plan number one into action.

The prince wasn't in a good mood, because he'd been brought once again food he couldn't eat for lunch. This time Fíli had talked to the servant, forbidding them to serve fish in the prince's chambers ever again, but there hadn't been any time to order them to bring him something else or they would miss Kíli's surprise. Trudging with an empty stomach through the busy crowd occupying the halls, wouldn't be one of Fíli's favourite pastime either.

Fíli had considering going hungry as well, but Kíli said it was okay. He was the guard and it was probably important he was ready for action. Back then the omega sounded a little resigned, when Fíli urged him to leave his chambers though, his mood dropped severely and incited the angry bite to return to his words, the blond hadn't heard in a while.

"Because I need one and I'm not allowed to leave you without protection," he answered casually, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

Kíli huffed.

"Then why aren't you going on your free day?"

"Come on, it won't take long and then you can sulk in peace again."

"Haha," Kíli grumbled sarcastically.

The few dwarves they came a cross on a non-market day didn't acknowledged the prince presence at all. Fíli found himself briefly wondering how many people among nobility had actually managed to catch a glimpse at Kíli so far. The prince spent most of his time in the royal wing after all and during the few occasions he had left this part of the mountain, Fíli had always been with him, considering furthermore that the brunet's gowns might be noble, but other than that not showing his descent at all, it might be safe to assume that the majority didn't know who Kíli was. And wouldn't this be just like Dáin, to present Kíli to the folk once the courtship feast had ended, with the king reaching his goal of marrying him off to Rosbart? Or maybe it was simply depending on the domicile of the respective dwarves. People living near the royal wings might know more than those residing in a different part of the mountains?

Perhaps he should ask Kíli about it. Not right now, though, for they had reached Dori's shop.

Fíli was barely given the time to close the door behind them, before Kíli was engulfed in a hug. He could see him stiffen at the sudden contact, but the first shock and lack of understanding were dispelled very fast.

"Kíli!" Bofur exclaimed joyfully. He took a step back from the bewildered omega and examined him carefully. "Oh laddie, it's so good to see you!"

And when the toymaker embraced him a second time, Kíli returned it. His whole body was shaking as he buried his face at Bofur's shoulder. It was Fíli's sign to retreat to the back of the shop, where Dori and Ori were already waiting with tea, watching the scene with a smile.

Dori patted his back in a fatherly manner, eyes gleaming with tears. It was amazing, the happiness radiating from the old dwarves features. Despite the harsh treatment he had received by the prince, he wasn't holding it against him, acting far kinder and more forgiving than Fíli could ever hope to be. Of course, his view had changed after learning the truth, but that didn't excuse Kíli's behaviour, regardless how justified his anger was. Which was why Fíli still called him out on it then and again, when it hit people, who weren't to blame for Kíli's situation. Although such occasions had lessened, since he and the brunet had begun to get along.

"He is lucky to have a friend like you," Dori said and Fíli wasn't able to suppress the proud smile sneaking to his lips.

While he gave Kíli and Bofur the privacy they deserved – they had a lot to catch up, after all – he chatted with Ori and Dori, having come to enjoy their company immensely.

The traditions of the Iron Hills were still ridiculous in his eyes, now that the toxic environment had been removed, though, Fíli liked his stay here quite a bit. Friends such as these brothers and Kíli were the reason. The longer he thought about it, the more he had to admit he was going to miss the prince, when it was time for him to leave. It made his heart clench painfully, filling him with nausea. The only thing he could hope for was that in the end, the omega would've found a gentle alpha, treating him the way he deserved and who could chase away the bad memories of a time in Dáin's care.

Sometimes, though... sometimes this hope didn't sit well in his chest. It was a burning sensation he couldn't explain. He wanted Kíli to be happy and at the same time despised the thought of seeing him with another alpha.

It took a while, before the door to the shop opened once more. Immediately turning his head, Fíli noticed with a smile how Dís entered the building, her gaze finding Kíli in a heartbeat.

"Kíli."

Her voice couldn't have been more than a whisper, but the brunet heard. His head turning sharply.

"'Amad," he gasped and then he stormed towards her, almost stumbling in his hurry.

They were a blur as they fell into each other’s arms, both sobbing with relief and joy, the long months apart from the other against their will finally catching up with them in the brief safety of Dori's shop.

"My boy, oh my boy," she mumbled in a choked voice, pulling him even tighter, as if her embrace could heal the wounds in his soul and protect him from any harm waiting in the uncertain future. "Oh, how I've missed you."

Kíli's answer was a broken whimper, containing so much hurt it made Fíli's heart ache.

Swallowing hard, the blond averted his eyes, feeling like an intruder for watching their reunion.

Coughing slightly to get his emotions back under control, he gained Ori's and Dori's attention.

"What were you saying about the western gate?" he asked.

They had been discussing options about taking Kíli hunting. There might be some loopholes Fíli could use to their benefit, but he was pretty sure none of it would excuse the prince leaving the mountain during a courtship feast, regardless if there wasn't any date set up for the particular day or a guard at his side. So they had to think of something else. Smuggling him out for a little while was the only chance they had so far. It was risky, but Fíli would gladly hazard the consequences in return for his friend's happiness.

"The guards with the shift from morning to noon like to take stroll to the tavern at midday for an ale or two. That's how Nori gets in and out. The gate is unattended every day at that time."

“So you think we could sneak out that way?” Fíli mused.

“You have a window of about a few minutes while they order. They usually take a seat by the window so they can have a look at the gate, despite abandoning their post. If you are quick they won’t see you while getting in and out,” Dori explained, even though he pulled a face as he did so. Obviously he didn’t like the idea that much, but wasn’t going to deny them a day outside of the stone either.

Fíli probably would have to check it out on his next free day, see how much time it took, once the guard disappeared inside of the tavern. That shouldn’t be too difficult, though. The blond had received his fair share of tactical training and was able to see through a situation within few minutes at max. Watching and learning had always gone hand in hand, why should this time be different from all the others?

“I’m sure the prince will appreciate such a trip before the inevitable marriage. I don’t know how these noble alphas think, so it could be the last time he has such freedom, so don’t hesitate to ask if you want to know more… but… Fíli, how are you going to get his bow?” Ori wondered worriedly. “I don’t think it would be the same for a hunter to go hunting without their weapon of choice.”

“That will be the slightest problem. If I go there on my own, I don’t think they are going to stop me. I could always claim I wanted to destroy it in Kíli’s presence to trach him a lesson. The servants are what worries me. They will notice Kíli isn’t there when they bring the food.”

Fíli had no doubt they were loyal to Dáin, but would they report the prince’s absence? Would they even notice the difference between Kíli gone from his chambers to meet a suitor to leaving the mountain completely? Did they even know his schedule? Would they even care?

Those were question’s the alpha didn’t want to leave unaddressed, although he couldn’t come up with a solution either. He wouldn’t back down from his plans, regardless of what was going on, but he would feel a good deal more at ease, knowing he didn’t need to worry about them.

“Are you sure you want to-,“ Dori carefully began, but unable to come very far as Ori interrupted him.

“Use the opportunity to get back into the mountain unseen during the changing of guards! I know, it would be a short trip, but it won’t cause any suspicion, when the servants make the bed and see you have slept in them. They will assume you two were out in the city!”

Fíli blinked. This wasn’t what he’d had in mind, since that way they probably wouldn’t manage to get far away from the Iron Hills at all. On the other hand, though, it was better than not going at all and would silence the worry gnawing at his heart while filling it with doubt.

“That’s a great idea, Ori. Thank you!”

The redhead beamed at him, clearly proud and the alpha couldn’t help but wonder how rarely he must’ve been confronted with words of gratitude, to look so immensely proud right now. There seemed to be more wrong between the poor and the rich here than Fíli had realised so far.

They sat like that for some time afterwards, talking about Fíli’s life in Erebor and comparing it to Dori's and Ori’s experience of the Iron Hills. He told them about Frerin, when Dori confronted him with his observation of the beads. Speaking of the first time they had met awoke old memories, although the pain felt for the first time dulled, which usually didn't happened whenFíli talked about his betrothed, so it came as an unexpected surprise.

There wasn’t even guilt choking him at the thought. How should he feel guilty and sad right now, knowing he had brought people together that hadn’t seen each other in months and were happy to spent time together, even if it was a bittersweet meeting with the unpreventable goodbye approaching.

“Fíli?” Bofur’s voice interrupted their conversation, when it started to get late. “I fear we have to leave. Dís’ shift starts soon and I have to take care of Bombur’s children while he and his wife are working.”

This was completely understandable. Of course he would’ve liked Kíli to have some more time with his mother and the beta, but they probably had to return to the royal wing soon as well. Let alone Dori and Ori, who most likely had to prepare dinner very soon.

“You are a good lad, for doing this for us. Thank you.”

“Oh, you should thank Dori,” Fíli stopped him with the wave of his hand. “He was the one that closed his shop for the day, so you could talk undisturbed.”

There was a soft smile adorning Dori’s lips, when the blond met his eyes, before returning his gaze to Bofur.

“Still, it was very kind of you. They are in need of good people on their side, now even more so,” Bofur told him with a sigh.

Fíli frowned, not liking the undertone at all, shining out in the other’s words.

“What do you mean?”

“Promise me to eat a bit more,” Dís concerned voice drifted over to them, from where she was standing at the door to the shop, holding Kíli’s gaze. “You are thinner than the last time I saw you.”

“I will try,” the brunet promised her, hoarse and unable to suppress the little waver leaving his throat with every syllable.

Bofur followed his eyes with a regretful expression on his features.

“We will leave the Iron Hills soon. My brother, his wife, their children and I. They are going to close the tavern.”

Looking at him in disbelief, Fíli was barely able to comprehend what he’d just learned. Dís was going to lose her job and Kíli another part of his small support system. _He_ would leave with the knowledge that everything had become even worse for them. What would happen to Kíli’s family if they lost this income as well? Hoping for Kíli’s spouse to help them was something he would like to see, but couldn’t be sure that it was going to happen.

“What? Why?” he gasped.

“We have a cousin in Erebor. He was hurt during a skirmish with orcs and is still at the infirmary at the moment. They weren’t sure if he was going survive, but miraculously he did. He will never fully recover, though. He needs us. We are all he has left. Everything is arranged with king Thorin and we are going to leave in two weeks.”

It was completely understandable, it wasn’t helping Kíli and Dís, however.

“Does he know?” Fíli asked.

“Aye, we told him.”

Bad things seemed to come in form of an avalanche, overwhelming and pulling the rug out from under Kíli’s feet, leaving him carried off by Dáin’s plans and with less and less air to breathe. Finding a good alpha had been his only hope from the beginning, but now kind wasn’t enough. The person needed an ear for the prince’s worries and hold enough love for him to fight for the omega’s family as well.

The goodbye was short, probably to make it easier for Kíli and Dís. Still, the dwarrowdam stopped at Fíli’s side and hugged him briefly, whispering how grateful she was for his support and left afterwards.

The brunet headed over to him, looking sad and small and just the sight of him in such a state put Fíli’s heart in a vice-like grip and threatened to squeeze it until it burst. Then Kíli glanced at Dori and paled, for the first time realising where he was. Dori was just smiling kindly, but Fíli could see the inner struggle displaying on the prince’s features.

Eventually, though, Kíli swallowed, taking a deep breath only a second later.

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out, as if his courage was about to leave him, if he said it any other way. “I was terrible to you and I… I…,” Kíli’s voice broke, the emotions on his face only moments away from crushing him.

“It’s fine, laddie,” Dori was quick to reassure him. “The king is really putting you through something, isn’t he?”

Unable to reply as he looked, the prince simply nodded, but still seemed deeply ashamed of his behaviour, especially after noticing that Dori was on his side and had just helped him to reunite him with Dís, even if it wasn’t for longer than a few hours.

They had to head back not much later. Kíli was quiet, staring at the way in front of his feet, hair hiding his face like a curtain. It planted a sense of dread in Fíli’s stomach, causing him to wonder all of a sudden if this day had been the right decision after all. In the end, seeing Dís and Bofur probably turned going back to the impersonal chambers in a much crueller task. Freedom had waved at Kíli and he wasn’t allowed to embrace it.

But just when the prince’s silence and lack of eye contact was about to concern the blond greatly, Kíli suddenly turned to look at him. His expression open and raw, radiating so much trust at the same time, considering that the omega wasn’t hiding any of his feelings.

“Thank you, Fíli.”

Three simply words and still they managed to carry the weight of the world, full of empathy and appreciation.

 

 


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli has something to think about and Dáin executes a terrible plan.

 

 

_When Kíli saw Fíli for the first time he believed him to be like everyone else. Just a guard, loyal to Dáin, only there to ensure he wasn't going to escape. His bearing, speaking of nobility, had repelled Kíli. They were all the same, terrible people that wanted to keep him here against his will. He would fight him, try to push him away with his anger, until he got sick of his position and left._

_There was a brief moment of doubt on the day Fíli protected him from Dáin's wrath, but then he argued that Kíli had to look presentable. From that day on he was certain, the blond alpha was like everybody else, only caring for the omega’s looks and that he was going to accomplish his duty. Find an alpha during the feast, marry him, get himself fucked until he carried the next heir. It disgusted him. They all, but especially Fíli. As scared as he'd been when Dáin's hand had hit his cheek, in this moment he couldn't help but wish the guard hadn't interfered, had allowed Dáin to beat him bloody, for perhaps it would've offered Kíli an outlet, if Dáin killed him in his rage._

_It was the only time death as an escape crossed his mind. He didn't really want to die, not yet at least. Living in this environment for more than just a few months might change his perspective one day. Right now there wasn't any way he could do this to his mother, not while she was still fighting for him._

_With time, though, his first impression turned out to be false. Fíli became kinder, supported him, taught him what he needed to do so he wouldn't look like a fool to nobility. But that wasn't what made him like the blond in the end. It was his sincerity, the way he stood up to him, when Kíli was unnecessary cruel once again. Fíli helped him to let go of his anger, using more resources than simply teaching him. He was honest, but never unkindly so._

_Fíli was a true friend. Kíli's friends before all of this... well, they seemed to be too scared of Dáin to fight for him. He couldn't really blame them, in the world of the poor you did everything to survive and if that meant letting go of a friendship, then this was what happened. Fíli, on the other hand, didn't care about the consequences and sometimes the brunet wanted to cry tears of relief, thanking Mahal to have sent the guard to him._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Where are you going?" Kíli wondered, watching Fíli lacing his boots.

Dwalin should arrive in a couple of minutes and he had ambitious plans, strived to observe the change of guards, – finding out how much time they would have to slip through, – let alone fetching Kíli's bow on the way back. Fíli smiled at his friend.

"What do you think about a hunting trip?"

Kíli's face fell.

"Well..., it sounds nice... I... ah... I hope you have fun."

"Oh no, that's not what I meant!" Fíli hurriedly replied. "I thought we could go on a hunting trip together."

Staring at him, as if the other had lost his mind, Kíli didn't manage to get even one word out at first.

"What?" he gasped at last. "But I'm not allowed-"

"I'm going to watch the guards for a bit, find out if we have enough time to sneak out during the shift change. So what Dáin doesn’t know won’t hurt him," Fíli told him with a wink.

He shuffled awkwardly with his feet under Kíli's strong gaze and lack of reaction. Had it been a mistake to mention it?

"So, what do you say?" he asked hopefully.

This seemed to lure the brunet from his strange trance and urging a wobbly smile to his lips, before he nodded.

"I would love to. Thank you."

Smiling at the hoarse reply and the emotions audible in his voice, Fíli gave a little nod as a confirmation.

"Then that's what we are going to do. We will talk about it, when I return."

They chattered for a few more minutes, until Dwalin stepped inside. He frowned at them, obviously still not approving of their friendship, but at the same time, there was a softness in his eyes Fíli couldn't quite place.

Once he left the chamber, he headed straight towards the western gate, conjuring up the times Ori had named in regards of the change of guards. The gate was relatively small compared to the main entrance to the Iron Hills, entrusting no more than two guards with its watch. The men were positioned on a balcony over the huge iron gateway, observing the landscape beyond the stone.

Fíli watched them for a while, hidden by a column, and when the guards eventually turned around on schedule like Ori had assured him, probably because they read the time from the altitude of the sun, the blond began to count slowly. His eyes followed their movements until the next shift crossed them, keeping his gaze on the rested dwarves walking towards the gate.

Two minutes. If he and Kíli positioned themselves deftly enough, then this shouldn't be a hard task at all. Fíli smiled to himself, things were looking pretty good at the moment.

With this knowledge the blond went to fetch the prince's bow, which was as easy as he'd suspected. The dwarf guarding the armoury was deceived after only a few well-chosen words, causing Fíli to feel buoyant and confident. It almost was as if he was a young dwarf once more, thinking up pranks with Frerin and like nothing could hurt them. As fast as the thought came, though, the cheerfulness was already abating.

There it was again. The feeling that he shouldn't be allowed to be happy without his One, increased by the diminished pain he was feeling since he and Kíli had become friends. He didn't understand. Kíli wasn't replacing Frerin, he couldn't even if he tried. They were so different. Frerin calm, but always up for some fun, wise and at the same time silly with his jokes, strong in the forge, while being oh so gentle in the bedroom. Kíli on the other hand was funny, not wise as Frerin, but with a certain understanding of the world that wasn't stupid in the slightest. He was full of laughter, vibrating with energy and acted only calm if upset. And he had a temper that challenged Fíli, while Frerin had always been a supportive presence at his side.

Kíli prepared him in a different way for kingship. Kíli forced him to develop into a stronger being, whereas being with Frerin meant facing troubles together and overcome them as a team. Not that he believed Kíli wouldn't help him in the same way, but he still noticed that he'd changed for his own benefit during the last weeks, even then when Kíli and him weren't liking each other that much.

His next destination was the aviary, for Roäc had arrived with a letter for him, at the least the note one of the servants had brought him in the morning spoke of the raven carrying a message by Thorin for him. Looking for the envoy of his father didn't take long and soon Fíli faced the bird, clothed in a beautiful black plumage. A letter couldn't be spotted. It filled the alpha's heart with dread. They only forewent parchment when they needed to talk openly, every dwarf new among royalty knew about the secret code that was usually used to encrypt and so only the loyal ravens could be trusted with urgent and dangerous topics.

Fíli looked around, making sure no one was here. It seemed like they were alone, but one could never be careful enough. Luckily Roäc was smart and saw more than Fíli himself, if it wasn't safe to talk, the raven wouldn't.

"Greetings, Roäc, chief of ravens."

"Greetings, my prince."

The raven twitched with its head and hopped towards him, reducing the distance between them further.

"Why has my father sent you?" Fíli asked the bird silently.

"King Thorin is worried about your wellbeing. Mixed messages have reached him and he asks you to return, if Kíli's manners aren't tolerable. He promises to deal with Dáin's displeasure, should you beseech to return."

Oh... well, that was unexpected. It must've been Balin's and Fíli's letters, confusing the king of Erebor. While the blond had concealed his initial dislike of Kíli, Balin had probably been honest about the omega's behaviour. Fíli didn't believe Balin had been cruel in his words, rather matter-of-factly and honest.

Fíli wanted to avoid worrying his father, although he had to realise it had happened nonetheless, with withholding some important incidents from his letters. Of course it wasn't the first time Fíli was away on duty, but it was the first time after such a terrible incident had taken place in his life and he could understand the king's worry, despite feeling less and less like he needed such consideration the longer he stayed at Kíli's side. He was feeling surprisingly well, the change of scenery was doing him good, even though he was disagreeing with the traditions of this place.

"No, my father got this all wrong. Roäc," he addressed the raven, capturing its undivided attention. Black, clever eyes gazed at the blond's face, "tell my father that I had troubles in the beginning. But whatever Balin has told him about Kíli wasn't the real Kíli. He was hurting and had been wronged by Dáin and couldn't trust me in the beginning. He trusts me now and since then I was able to see a different side of him. He is kind and funny and even though he has been hurt so deeply, he isn't giving up, instead he is stubborn and fighting for himself. I can say with certainty, had he been allowed to become a toymaker, the children would've loved his designs. I saw only a few, but it was enough to understand how talented he is. He might not be the right person for the position of a prince, that's true, but the way he brings joy to others' hearts is his peerless skill. Like… his smiles are so contagious and it’s impossible not to laugh with him. Kíli is amazing and I wouldn't have you think any other way."

Roäc tilted his head, staring at Fíli intensely, when the blond finished. Frowning, he mimed the pose of the bird. Was there something wrong, with what he'd said?

"Prince Fíli has found his One?" the raven suddenly opened its beak.

"What?" he gasped. "No!"

Kíli wasn't his One, Frerin was his One. He'd loved his betrothed more than anything, it hadn't been just a fleeting sensation, dying as soon as he found someone else attractive. And just for the records, he didn't think Kíli attractive. Not at all! Besides, dwarves loved only once, why else should finding your One be such a treasured concept? No, he didn't love Kíli and his heart didn't skip a beat at the thought of Kíli's smile.

Roäc, though, simply nodded, as if not hearing Fíli's exclamation. The raven obviously had already made his mind.

"Yes, prince Fíli is in love. Voice gave him away."

"Wait! No, Roäc. I'm certainly not in love with Kíli. Dwarves can't love more than once. Frerin was my One. You remember my betrothed!"

How could the raven forget? They were usually a lot smarter and Roäc had met Frerin after all, had addressed him as Fíli's consort before a wedding could even take place. Why would he say these things? They felt like a knife to the blond's chest, as if he was betraying Frerin now that his intentions were misjudged. Kíli was his friend!

"I shall bring king Thorin the good news."

"No! Roäc, Kíli is just a friend, I don't love him!"

The bird only shook his head in what seemed to be a pitying and, at the same time, a chiding manner. Would his father doubt his love for Frerin, when he heard of the raven's deluded assumptions? Perhaps, though, Roäc's folk interpreted love differently and this was why the envoy wasn’t acting reasonable. If this was the case, then surely Thorin had to know about it.

For it was wrong. Frerin was his One, his only love and his friendship to Kíli wouldn't change it. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Try as he might, he wasn't able to stop Roäc's words from recurring to his thoughts. Every time he convinced himself that he wasn't feeling anything for Kíli than friendship, the raven's assumption would repeat in his head. Denying it had turned into a hard battle and Fíli couldn't say if he would win. Being with Kíli didn't really help to sort out his feelings. On the one hand he was his guard and couldn't leave him alone and on the other, he didn't want to.

The prince had spent more than enough time alone, since he was forced to live in the royal wings and as long as Kíli wanted, Fíli would be there for him. It didn't matter if he was simply staying at his side to protect him or if he was teaching him. Most of the time, though, they found themselves talking or playing chess. The brunet was surprisingly good at it, facing Fíli as worthy opponent.

It made for a busy schedule, for even when Kíli's days were free of any appointments, they would spend it together. Today, for example, they had agreed on training for a while, before another dinner in the evening, whereas tomorrow their hunting trip was supposed to take place, offering no real opportunity to fight Roäc's words.

"That was great! All right, try to attack me again and to get through my defence."

Kíli, even though panting and sweat glistening on his brow, where the brunet hair allowed a look at it, nodded. The grip around the hilt tightening as the prince began circling Fíli. His steps were careful this time, not the reckless charge the alpha could easily block. He tried to find a weak spot in his guard, while Fíli followed the brunet's movements with his eyes.

Then Kíli attacked, going for one of the blond's legs. A sidestep was enough to avoid it, which the omega seemed to have planned, for his next blow aimed at Fíli's arm. He wanted to block it, but it turned out to be a deceit. The blade moved in form of a curve, as Kíli changed its angle and if blond hadn't received years of training, he would've had trouble to protect himself from the sword. As it was though, their swords clashed together, sending little tremors through their hands and arms, coming with the force of the impact.

"Good job," Fíli praised him, enjoying the beaming smile adorning the other's lips at such a compliment.

With a few years more of training, Kíli could turn into an amazing fighter. He knew the basics, now he just needed the tactic and the right sword. He obviously favoured a two-handed weapon, making it impossible for Fíli's swords to fathom Kíli's true potential.

To prevent overdoing it, the alpha decided to finish their training for today, seeing as Kíli was completely out of breath. If the prince looked tired during the dinner and couldn't concentrate on his suitor and their family it would end in a disaster once again and Fíli had really no intentions of losing any more suitors for Kíli, the list had already decreased drastically as it was. Besides, they both would need a bath before facing nobility.

"Let's stop for today. Dáin and the others won't appreciate it, if we show up all smelly for the dinner." 

“Oh yes, you are right,” Kíli admitted, although there was a strange sense of dejection in his voice. If it was because they had to stop their training or Dáin’s presence waiting for the prince in the evening, Fíli couldn’t tell.

Taking the sword Kíli handed him, the blond sheathed both weapons and the two dwarves headed back to the royal wing.

“Soooo,” the brunet said eventually. “Are you going to join me?”

Fíli met his gaze, confused.

“I mean the bath,” the prince added, almost making the alpha choke on his breath.

“What?” Fíli exclaimed, not halting in his steps, but unable to quit staring at his friend.

He had to look quite stupid, how he walked along right beside him, eyes glued to the omega’s face and mouth slightly agape.

“Don’t you take communal baths in Erebor?” Kíli wondered.

Fíli had to tell himself that this question wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, for indeed, it was common at his home as well. Dwarves didn’t feel particular ashamed of their bodies and didn’t mind bathing together completely naked. There had been hunting trips, where the whole party stopped at a lake, stripped off their clothes and enjoyed the cool water. They would swim, dive into the water or wrestle, sometimes spicing it up with carrying one of their comrades on their shoulders and the pair that fell over first in their match would lose.

So there truly shouldn’t be any shame or hesitation, it wasn’t the first time he would see someone naked and definitely not going to be the last. Still, he found himself caught off guard, had never expected his friend to address him with such a question. And then there was furthermore what Roäc had said.

“No, we do that in Erebor as well,” he answered.

“So you are just being a prude?” the prince asked teasingly, nudging him playfully with his elbow.

“I’m definitely not prudish!” the blond stated in faked outrage.

“Then prove it,” Kíli demanded, sticking out his tongue.

Fíli shook his head. “You are such a child.”

“You love me for it!”

His heart seemed to miss a beat. Was Roäc perhaps right? Was he in love with Kíli? It was impossible to deny that they had grown close very fast, but just because he was getting along well with the omega didn’t mean he’d automatically fallen in love with him at the same time. After all, friendship was simply a different kind of love. The raven must’ve mistaken his friendship. Aye. That had to be it.

“Luckily for you, you are right,” Fíli said with a smirk.

In the end it was probably even the sensible decision to bath together. Fíli might’ve misjudged the time quite a bit and getting business done at one go would allow them to be on schedule for the dinner.

Yet, seeing Kíli naked had pretty much turned him into a jumbled mess. Kíli wasn’t broad but rather slender, not well-toned like other dwarves, – which might be related to long weeks of mainly inactivity, – but no less attractive. Fíli had to stop himself from following the droplets of water running down the brunet’s chest. Regardless how often he cursed himself in his mind to finally snap out of this creepy behaviour, it didn’t really work, instead his heart had decided to go for a run. At least he could hide more or less well, what was going on inside him.

Thank Mahal for Kíli, though. At one point the omega splashed water in his face and the strange spell was broken with the little fight that followed afterwards. The bathroom was a mess of puddles and they accidently drowned one of their towels in their fight, but luckily they didn’t have to clean it up, albeit the servants probably wouldn’t be amused. But it was their job, so there were no regrets on Fíli’s part.

Eventually they managed to behave like adults and got cleaned up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The dinner began uneventful. Kíli had developed his own way of dodging Dáin's malevolence and was therefore doing pretty well, at least until the main course was served.

Fíli had a hard time believing his eyes, as the servants brought a huge roasted fish and started to cut it into pieces, so they could serve. Kíli had to stare with similar shock at the plate, placed in front of him. They should've noticed what was about to happen, there were a certain knife and fork sitting beside the prince's plate, but they had both focussed their attention on Dáin, who was smiling and chatting as if nothing crucial had happened.

That the king could get so low in his foul game was even surprising Fíli and the blond was thinking this cruel dwarf capable of a lot. Kíli shot the guard a helpless glance, to which Fíli simply shook his head very lightly. By no means was the prince going to eat it!

Yes, the outcome of the courtship feast would decide over his future, but making himself sick, just for a successful night? His health was far more important than Dáin's intrigue. Speaking of Dáin, it took all of Fíli self-control to remain at Kíli's side, to only clench his fists behind his back, pressing his lips in a thin line to prevent himself from giving the king a piece of his mind.

Getting angry now wouldn't help Kíli, if all it would aggravate his situation, should it end with Fíli's dismissal as the prince’s guard. A replacement might not care for Kíli's situation. Oh, how he hated it to have no power here. In Erebor he would've never put up with something like that, but here his hands were tied, if he wanted to remain at Kíli's side.

"Why aren't you eating?" the king suddenly addressed Kíli. "It's truly delicious and you don't want to offend our guest, do you? After all, Ragnar has caught this carp specifically for this dinner."

Fíli bit on the insides of his cheeks until he could taste blood. Ragnar was the father of the suitor and now staring at Kíli expectantly. The prince on the other hand, wasn't able to tear his gaze away from Dáin, a prey watching its predator, terrified.

"No, of course not," Kíli said at last, voice sounding astonishingly steady for the terrible circumstances.

The prince skewered a piece of the fish on his fork and guided it to his lips. Fíli wanted to hiss his name in warning, wanted to knock the cutlery out of his hands, wanted to shake him so he would come to his senses. In the end he did neither, merely closed his eyes to save himself from the view.

"You are right uncle, it tastes amazing," Kíli's voice reached his ears. He didn't sound different so far, urging the blond to open his lids again. "Thank you for going through the effort of enhancing our dinner, it had to be a challenge to catch such a big fish."

The lord on the other side of the table beamed proudly, immediately beginning to speak in a long and drawn out tale about how he'd won against the fish. Meanwhile Fíli had to watch Kíli take another bite of the fish and another and another and another. Just the way the brunet forced himself to continue eating made his stomach churn painfully, but the guilt was worse. He should've stopped him regardless what it would mean for them. He didn't want to see Kíli suffer.

It didn't take long for the omega to start sweating, his complexion going pale, while his breath came in short, laborious gasps. Fíli watched him struggle to maintain his composure for about a minute, before the blond harrumphed loudly, silencing the ongoing conversation and drawing the attention to himself.

"Unfortunately prince Kíli and I will have to excuse ourselves already. The prince hasn't been feeling well all day, but since he was looking forward to meeting Leif and you this evening, he didn’t have the heart to cancel the dinner. But his discomfort is catching up with him and rest is in order."

Out of the corner of his eyes, he was able to see Leif's mother glancing at them, deeply moved by Kíli's alleged devotion to the courtship feast. Dáin, on the other hand, was frowning at him. Fíli wasn't done with his little ploy though, and turned to the prince. The brunet was looking at him in a mixture of shock, nausea and relief.

"Please, forgive me for my improper behaviour, my prince, but my duty is to ensure your wellbeing, so I couldn't keep silent any longer with a good conscience and will accept every punishment you deem fit."

Kíli barely managed an appropriate smile, let alone a proper farewell. However, it didn't matter, for Fíli had known how to play his cards and there was deep admiration for the prince shining in the eyes of the guests, safe for Dáin, of course. Who wouldn't love to hear that someone wanted to meet them so much, they ignored their own discomfort?

The way out of the dining hall seemed to be all Kíli could take. As soon as the doors fell shut behind him, the prince slumped against Fíli, wrapping his arms around his middle and groaning softly. Reacting instantly, the guard wound an arm around the brunet's back, holding him upright.

"Can you walk?" he wondered worriedly, noticing the furrows forming on his friend’s brow in obvious pain.

"Don'ow," Kíli panted, on instinct burying his face at Fíli's chest.

Without waiting for another word, he scooped the omega up into his arms, heart clenching at another groan leaving Kíli's lips. Walking as fast as possible with the weight in his arms, he tried to ignore the way hands were clutching at his tunic, while laboured breath ghosted over his neck.

He blanched, a sinking feelings settling in his stomach. Could Kíli die from this? Or was this just his body rejecting, what it didn't tolerate? Mahal, why had he allowed him to do this? He should've protected him. Hadn't he just said his duty was to ensure Kíli's wellbeing? Well, perhaps he would've offended another suitor, offering Dáin his desired triumph, but all of this would've been better than seeing his friend like this. Could he even call himself his friend after permitting this?

Shaking his head angrily, Fíli silenced the thoughts descending upon him. This wasn't important. He could feel guilty later. Right now he had to help Kíli.

"Is there anything I can do? What do you need?" he asked hurriedly by the time they reached the chambers.

"Bathroom," Kíli answered through clenched teeth. "'think 'm going to b' sick."

Fíli did as he was told, carrying the brunet to the bathroom, arriving there not one second too soon as Kíli suddenly pushed against him, wiggling out of his hold to lean over the privy, right in time for the first heave to rattle through his body. The blond was at his side just a second later, gently pulling his hair out of the omega's face and began to rub his back reassuringly. The tunic was wet with sweat, sticking uncomfortably to his skin as Kíli's muscles tensed under the force of nausea.

It didn’t seem to stop at all after it had begun. Sometimes Kíli would lean back and Fíli hoped it was finally over, just for the prince to groan again and vomit once more. One of the brunet’s arms was now constantly wound around his middle, probably because the pain was barely bearable.

He seemed to be sweaty everywhere and that certainly wasn’t improving his state. At one point Fíli got up, used a ribbon to tie Kíli’s hair into a messy bun, so he could occasionally cool the omega’s brow and nape with a wet cloth.

“Do you want to get out of your tunic?” Fíli asked him hurriedly during one of the breaks between throwing up.

Kíli nodded sluggishly, breathing hard and looking overall completely exhausted and still his complexion hinted that his body wasn’t done just yet with punishing him for eating something he shouldn’t have.

“All right, let me do this for you,” he told him gently.

While Kíli was leaning his temple against the stone of the privy, Fíli carefully undid the laces of the tunic and helped him out of it, along with the layers of clothing beneath it. He swallowed with difficulty, once he caught a look at Kíli’s exposed skin. An angry red rash had spread over his back, appearing tender and painful.

“Is there something that helps against the rash? Cooling perhaps?” Fíli asked.

Right now he was seriously playing with the thought of getting up, walk to Dáin’s chambers and kill that bastard in his sleep. Of course he hadn’t forced Kíli to eat or Fíli to stand by and watch, but it had been his intention and the both of them, in their desire to allow Kíli success during the dinner, had disregarded the possible outcome. They had willingly walked into his disgusting trap.

“Aye,” Kíli panted, his deep breathing indicating another attack of nausea was coming, “an’ ointment.”

Fíli wasn’t assuming Kíli had any ointment lying around in his room and he didn’t feel like leaving the prince just to get some, not with him in such a condition, but at least he could help with the cooling. When Kíli bent once again over the privy – could there even be anything left in his stomach now besides bile or was his body simply so irritated that it couldn’t stop now? – he imbued a towel, wrung it out and cautiously placed it on Kíli’s shivering back.

“Fíli?” a voice suddenly called his name.

On reflex his head turned to the door, leading to the living area. What was Balin doing here at such a late hour? Massaging Kíli’s nape gently for a few seconds, he addressed him:

“I will be right back. I will see what he wants and send him away.”

Kíli was either too busy with the sickness overwhelming him or simply didn’t care, for he didn’t give the blond a sign he’d heard him.

Balin was waiting for him on the other side of the door, Kíli’s gagging noises even reaching this part of the chambers. The old dwarf looked truly concerned, although Fíli wasn’t sparing him any sympathy, not after their last conversation.

“I heard what happened. How is he?”

“What does it sound like?” Fíli snapped.

Balin sighed deeply. “Fíli-“

“Don’t ‘ _Fíli_ ” me! What did you expect? Dáin is a damn maniac and I can’t believe you are still supporting this nonsense!”

“I’m trying to help him in my own way.”

“How? In turning a blind eye to it?”

Fíli couldn’t hear any of it. He was angry and just wanted to smash something. Kíli was Dáin’s freaking nephew! Even if he hadn’t grown up here, he should’ve been taught what he needed instead of being a puppet in the king’s hand. Kíli hadn’t wronged Dáin in any way. If he wanted to be angry at Dís for defying their precious little traditions Fíli would almost be able to understand it. But Kíli? He had no part in this at all. It was unfair! It was cruel! It was sick! And Balin’s hypocrisy was only worsening it.

“I tried to keep Dáin busy, so he wouldn’t interfere with the courtship feast! He didn’t make it to the first dinners, because I planned his schedule and made sure he couldn’t attend anything regarding Kíli. But then the king learned that Kíli was suddenly doing well, it got him suspicious and he couldn’t be swayed anymore.”

This was ridiculous. Fíli was barely able to trust his own ears. Balin was truly trying to tell him that Fíli was to blame.

“Oh, so now you are saying it’s my fault?” he scoffed. “You are not helping Kíli in any way, Balin! You can talk yourself into believing it, but it won’t make it true. What good is keeping Dáin busy doing, when Kíli fails during every dinner, losing the respect of his suitors and every potential chance of getting married to someone besides Rosbart? You are not helping him, Balin. You know how you can help him right now? Go to a healer and get him an ointment against the rash he is suffering from. And if you can’t even do this, but would rather condemn him, then I seriously don’t want to see you anymore!”

Balin stared at him with wide eyes, shocked to the core. Never before had Fíli spoken like this with a man he’d always counted as one of his friends. Since he knew the truth about Kíli though, his view had shifted.

Fíli didn’t say another word, simply turned around and headed back into the bathroom, were Kíli had curled up beside the privy, still hugging his midsection in obvious pain. Whispering soothing words in the brunet’s hair Fíli urged him to uncurl a bit, so he could lean comfortably against the alpha.

For the next hour he stroked his friend’s hair. The nausea had finally abated, but the cramps seemed stronger than ever. Inwardly he cursed everyone he could think of, who had brought Kíli in this situation in the first place, even himself.

When it finally seemed like the worst was over and Kíli could catch some hours of sleep, the night had already melted into the early morning hours.

On the table in the living room was sitting a little box of ointment.

 

 


	17. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Kíli go on their hunting trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finished writing the last chapter of this story and only need to add an epilogue, so I thought to celebrate it, I could post another chapter. ^_^

 

 

Fíli wasn’t very sure about their planned hunting trip, after the ordeal that had been the last night. Kíli had been looking forward to it so much, but after suffering for hours on end, it seemed far more sensible to allow his friend to sleep and regain his strength. Still, Fíli could tell Kíli would be disappointed, so he wanted to let him decide. The omega needed this kind of freedom and should he want to go regardless of what happened, the blond would ensure as many breaks as possible, so the prince wouldn’t overdo it in his groggy state.

He chose to wake him as gently as possible. Kíli had curled up into a ball, deeply asleep when Fíli quietly snuck into his room. Sitting down on the bed, he gently began to stroke Kíli’s shoulder.

It took a while before Kíli's even breathing turned deeper, telling Fíli he was slowly returning to the world of wakefulness.

"Kíli," he called him softly.

"Mh?" the brunet sighed, not yet receptive.

"I wasn't sure if I should wake you."

"Do I have to get up?" his friend whined, burying his face into the pillows.

"You don't," Fíli explained gently. "But if we want to go hunting today, we have to leave soon."

This got the brunet's attention. Opening his tired eyes, framed by dark circles, he blinked owlishly at him.

"You look awful," Kíli croaked.

Fíli snorted.

"Look who is talking."

His friend had at least the decency to blush sheepishly, which strangely made him appear healthier, but it was probably only related to his otherwise still too pale skin.

"It's up to you," Fíli got back to topic. "If you rather want to sleep the whole day away, I would completely understand that."

But Kíli shook his head, struggling into a sitting position before fumbling with the blanket to cast it off his body.

"No. I want to go hunting. I was looking forward to it, since you mentioned it."

"Aye, I just thought because of yesterday-"

"No, I can handle it, really. Don't worry about me."

Fíli suppressed the urge to raise his brows in wariness. The prince didn't seem alright at all. However, he knew how much this day meant to him. It could be the last time he was offered such an opportunity during the courtship feast and afterwards no one could tell how the omega's life might change. Fíli would just have to make sure the other wasn't overdoing it.

"All right," he agreed, immediately watching Kíli relax visibly. "How is the rash? Do you want me to lotion your back before we eat breakfast?"

Grimacing, as if only then realising the uncomfortable spots on his skin hadn't receded, the brunet squirmed.

"I would really appreciate it. It itches terribly."

So that was what Fíli did. At some parts, like Kíli's arms, the rash seemed to cease already, whereas his back looked as irritated as on the last evening. He felt a pang of sympathy for the prince, spotting the places where he must've lost the battle and had scratched himself bloody. If it had already happened during Kíli's terrible ordeal Fíli wasn't able to tell, if so it had gone unnoticed by the blond guard.

While they waited for the ointment to seep in, they had a small breakfast. Afterwards they got dressed, with the alpha fetching his already packed bag, and left the royal wing, heading for the western gate. Just as Fíli had observed a few days ago, it was easy to slip outside during the change of guards. They hurried out of sight of the observation platform above the gate, finally alone, with nothing but the vastness of the wilderness in front of them.

The sight was beautiful, hills occupied by grasses stretching over the plain till the horizon. It was a bit brisk, dew glistening in the first warm rays of the sun kissing the earth. Even though dwarves were made to live beneath stone and preferred it to the world outside, this was nevertheless a sight to behold. Dwarves were great craftsman and they could recognise beauty, when they came across it, regardless if it met their beau ideal or not, most of the time though, his folk was pretty talented when it came to denial.

Fíli's eyes drifted to a forest, covering the slopes of the hills northwards. He waited before urging Kíli towards it. In bright daylight he seemed even paler than inside the mountains, but his smile shined brighter as well, as he inhaled the fresh air.

Once they reached the first trees it felt safe enough to hand Kíli the bow. The brunet seemed to be vibrating with energy and Fíli would've lied, had he claimed he wouldn’t have noticed the longing glances Kíli had cast at the weapon. Gentle finger brushed over the wood work, following the length of the limbs of the bow. He tested the tension of the string and gave a satisfied nod after some adjusting.

"So, show me what you can do," Fíli said, handing the other a quiver with arrows. It weren't Kíli's, but some he'd brought along after visiting the armoury as well, they were better than nothing, though.

"Name a target and I will," Kíli dared him with a confident smile.

Fíli chuckled, gaze wandering over their surroundings and stopping at a huge pine tree.

"Can you shoot the cones in the highest branches?"

Kíli studied the tree Fíli was pointing at for a few seconds, ere he fumbled for one of the arrows, smirking.

"Child’s play," he announced and drew the bow in one flowing motion.

This well-known sequence of movements, equalling an unconscious reflex, seemed to be only for show though, as if Kíli was trying to impress him. Fíli wasn't really surprised. After all the time he'd taught the omega, he must’ve been itching to show his own skills, finally no longer a passive participant but the initiator.

Kíli was calming his breathing now, eyes fixed on the pine cone, as he adjusted his aim three or four times about a few millimetres. He released the arrow while exhaling a breath and Fíli watched in awe, how the arrow buried itself deeply in the cone, causing it to break from the tree with the force of the shot.

Fíli jogged over to it, lifted the arrow connected to the pine cone and raised it like a trophy for Kíli to see.

"Told you!" the prince cheered.

After returning the arrow, the alpha reached out his hand in anticipation. "Can I?"

Kíli examined him in surprise.

"You shoot?"

"I am definitely not as good as you, but knowing how to use a bow belongs to the standard training in Erebor," he told him with a grin.

"Everyone in Erebor knows how to shoot?" His eyes went wide with disbelief.

"Well, not everyone. Learning to fight with an axe, a sword and a bow is part of the first years of training. Afterwards it's your decision, which weapon you want to favour. Some chose even the pike or a war hammer. It depends on personal preferences. Some don't like the bow and unlearn how to shoot pretty fast, but everyone knows what a useful weapon it is, even if they don't like to shoot themselves."

The way Kíli stared at him was equally amusing as it was sad. The brunet could barely believe what Fíli was telling him and it contained something utterly heartbreaking, knowing that Kíli would experience much more acceptance, had he simply be born in Erebor.

"I feel a bit rusty. How about a little competition?" Fíli suggested. This trip was supposed to create good memories, but the current sullen atmosphere put Fíli in anything but a hopeful mood.

At least it seemed like he'd said exactly the right thing, for Kíli soon displayed a confident smile.

"I hope you know that you won’t stand a chance."

Fíli laughed. "Well, I will at least try to be a worthy opponent."

During the first few shots they were dead even, however, once the targets got more difficult, Fíli slowly started to lose ground. Higher branches and the freshening wind where his downfall in the end.

"Didn't I say you would lose?" Kíli teased him, acting like a merciless imp now that he was in his element.

"I told you I was a bit rusty," Fíli defended himself. He truly needed to train more often with the bow, once he returned home. It was such a useful weapon, deserving way more attention and respect.

"You just don't want to admit that I have the keener eyesight."

Fíli shoved him playfully, savouring the opportunity of seeing Kíli so confident.

"How about you use that keen eyesight of yours to shoot us some dinner?"

"Sure, no problem at all."

In the end, it wasn't that easy. With their laughing and cheering they had pretty much scared any prey and had to crawl quietly through the thicket for a long while, before Kíli managed to shoot them a rabbit.

By the time they built a camp, the exhaustion of the last night was finally catching up with Kíli. All the adrenalin of getting out of the mountain, of the shooting competition and the following hunt had only muffled, but not dispelled it. Fíli let him sleep, curled up next to the fire, head pillowed on the blond's backpack. In the meantime the alpha gutted the rabbit and cooked it over the fire.

It was peaceful. The sounds of rustling leaves and the crackling of the fire keeping him company, while the delicious smell of their dinner grew stronger with the passing minutes. He wished this wouldn't be a fleeting moment, wished he could offer Kíli more days like that.

His gaze wandered to the sleeping figure next to him. Despite the exhaustion and the pale skin, he still looked adorable. With his hair flooding over his shoulders and the bag, the urge to run his fingers through the strands hit Fíli so suddenly he felt his right hand twitch. He knew how it would feel, that his hair wasn't as silky as it seemed and actually needed a wash after last night’s ordeal, but the light was doing its appearance a favour. Kíli didn't need it though. He was beautiful nonetheless. Fíli suddenly wondered how it would feel to kiss him. 

Turning his head sharply, gaze going to the fire, Fíli ruffled a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh. Roäc truly seemed to have confused him. He wasn't in love with Kíli. Being in love with Kíli would mean Frerin hadn't been his One and everything inside him rebelled against that thought. He would never shame Frerin’s memory like that. He was a dwarf, he loved only once and regardless what Roäc believed, it wouldn't change the truth. Kíli was his friend, no more and no less.

And still his stupid heart seemed to skip a beat, when Kíli beside him stirred.

"Oh... something smells good," the brunet mumbled, before groggily sitting up.

"We can eat in a minute," Fíli told him, feeling awkward all of a sudden. As if noticing for the first time the deep brown of Kíli's iris or the cute way he blinked and rubbed sleepy dust from his eyes, as well as the sleepy, grateful smile. The blond almost choked on the next breath.

"I'm sorry I didn't help," the prince apologised with a yawn.

"You caught it, I'm cooking it. It's called division of labour," Fíli replied with a wink, suppressing the desire to lean in and peck Kíli on the cheek.

This needed to stop! It had to be the alpha instincts, it couldn't be him. Fíli just needed a moment to control the animalistic part inside him – a part that had never made itself felt that strongly, a little voice inside his head reminded him. But this had to be the reason for the strange feelings inside him, because he certainly wasn't in love with Kíli. He wasn't in love. _He_ _wasn't!_

Kíli's following smile was a small piece of sunlight. Warm and bright and soothing and soft and so perfect for kissing.

...

Fíli was in love.

His mind felt blank for a second, unable to comprehend what it meant. He swallowed the realisation, locked it away as fast as it had hit him, preventing himself from analysing the situation. Not yet. Not here.

Therefore Fíli busied himself with evenly distributing the rabbit. Kíli's hunger seemed to have returned by the time he took the first bite, he moaned at the taste.

"You brought spices," the brunet noticed. "Mahal, you know everything about how to deal with nobility and you can cook, is there anything you can’t? It's delicious, Fíli! Thank you."

Fíli grinned proudly. "Glad I didn't mess up."

Kíli vigorously shook his head during another mouthful. "Not at all."

The rest of their lunch passed in comfortable silence. They burned the bones afterwards and then waited for the fire to die down.

"I'm going to miss you, once all of this is over," the prince murmured softly. He'd pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs and sighed, averting his eyes.

Fíli's stomach twisted at the thought. Going back to Erebor, continuing his princely duties, it felt so petty and wrong, knowing Kíli was forced into a marriage and stripped off his freedom. He wanted Kíli to be happy, to be able to do what he liked, but most of all, he didn't want to leave.

"I will miss you, too," Fíli admitted with a grimace, _more than Kíli knew_. "I will try to visit, though. As often as possible," he hurriedly added, partly to reassure Kíli, but mostly to reassure himself.

His friend still wouldn't meet his gaze, instead hunched his shoulders in obvious resignation.

"I'm not sure anyone would let you."

"They will have to, if they care for trading agreements," Fíli said grimly, realising too late what he'd just uttered.

Kíli finally returned his gaze, but the expression in his eyes was odd, something Fíli couldn't really place. The alpha sighed. Now that he'd let it slip, he could as well tell him the truth.

"I'm not a guard in Erebor, Kíli. My father is Thorin Oakenshield, king of Erebor and I'm his heir."

Dread filled the blond as he waited for a reaction, but the omega seemed too stunned to reply. At one point he opened his lips, inhaling as if to gather breath for an answer, but seemed to change his mind, closing his mouth and staring at the ground.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Dáin is so busy with being a greedy idiot he hasn't even realised. I didn't want anyone to know, I just wanted to be a face in the crowd, someone no one would treat differently."

"Why?" was the breathy question eventually leaving Kíli's lips.

"I lost someone I loved," his hand wandered instinctively to the beads braided into his hair. "My father urged me to come here. I was at a very dark place for a long time and he hoped... we both hoped getting out of Erebor would help me heal."

"That's why you know how to behave around nobility."

"Aye."

"So in Erebor, you truly treat each other as equals? Regardless how your people are born?" The sadness and desperation in Kíli's gaze nearly broke his heart. He nodded. Watching his friend swallow hard and close his lids in pain. "I wish I was born in Erebor."

Fíli was only able to ignore the trembles attacking Kíli's body for a few seconds, before he couldn't take the sight any longer and pulled him into a comforting embrace. The brunet accepted it willingly, clinging to the alpha like a lifeline. Here they were, two princes that couldn't be more different, but still hurting from the looming separation.

"You are my friend, Kíli. No matter what, I will find a way to visit you. I won't allow all of our efforts to go to waste," he promised, tears stinging behind his eyes.

If a part of Fíli might have feared Kíli would treat him differently after knowing his secret, it would be mistaken. True, the brunet was quiet on their way back mostly related to the circumstances catching up with him. Fíli could increase Kíli's chances of finding a kind and honourable betrothed, but he wasn’t able to offer safety and that thought gnawed at him, unforgivingly.

They managed to slip through the gates to get inside as easily as outside, all the while Fíli had to restrain himself to reach for Kíli’s hand. The prince was still a little pale and looked tense as he was returned to captivity. Perhaps the brief taste of freedom hadn’t been as kind as the blond had believed. He didn’t want to regret their trip, after all, before their conversation had turned to such a destructive direction they had both enjoyed themselves.

And the trouble of the day didn’t seem to leave them. Guards were waiting at the door of the princes chambers, a sight that made Fíli’s stomach constrict almost painfully, settling a thundering heartbeat into his chest.

“The king wants to see you,” one of them addressed Fíli.

Kíli shot him a worried glance, before suddenly squaring his shoulders and glaring at the man.

“He is on duty. Dáin will have to wait until his day off,” he told him off.

Instead of an answer the broad dwarf snarled, grabbing Kíli all of a sudden by the arm and dragging him into the chambers. Fíli was at his friend’s side in a heartbeat, loosening his grip of the other alpha and shoving him away. The guard stared at him, building a protective wall between Kíli and him, as if he couldn’t believe Fíli would dare to fight him.

“As he said,” he slowly began, “I’m on duty.”

“We are here to take over while you are with the king,” the second guard decided to intervene.

Carefully, trying to analyse the situation, Fíli put his bag down. Disobeying the king was out of question or he would raise suspicion, but he didn’t trust these dwarves either. One of them hadn’t even tried to talk when Kíli refused to let him go, and the other had relented far too late for his liking.

“I’m here to ensure prince Kíli’s safety, I’m sure you won’t have complicated my duty by the time I return?” he asked warningly.

“Of course,” the less aggressive one replied. “The prince has nothing to fear in our care as long as he stays inside his rooms.”

Fíli nodded, taking him up on his word, even though it wasn’t the most reassuring answer he’d hoped for. Casting a last comforting glance towards the brunet, he followed the call of the king.

Dáin was once again busy with signing documents, when Fíli entered his studies, although the king stopped immediately when he saw him. Dwalin and another dwarf were keeping guard. Fíli bowed as he came to a halt in front of the desk.

“Fíli, I’m glad you came as soon as you could,” he said. The blond returned the king’s stern gaze without fear as he was so obviously examined. “I called you because there have been rumours I heard through the grapevine.”

“Rumours, my king?” he responded calmly. He wasn’t scared of Dáin, didn’t even feel any respect towards him. The only thing that made him act in his presence like he’d always been taught to, was the thought of Thorin’s alliance and his fear of what might befall Kíli.

“You seem to be getting along quite well with my nephew, could this be related to Kíli’s sudden manners?”

A simple lie wouldn’t be good enough in such a situation, especially considering the close look Dáin was having at him. A part of the truth would be required, keeping it from the king would certainly only make matters worse if he trusted the sources of the so called _rumours_.

“I learned that Kíli hasn’t been part of royalty for very long and I assumed between the loss of the kingdom’s heir and the setting of the courtship feast there wasn’t enough time to teach him the basic knowledge of behaviour around nobility and therefore offered to teach him, so he wouldn’t reflect badly on you, my king.”

Dáin clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“That’s very,” a furrow formed between his brows, “kind of you.”

The king sounded as if he was chewing on something sour. It must’ve been the knowledge that Fíli had used a loophole in the Iron Hills’ traditions, preventing him from lecturing him. Or perhaps it was the blond’s connection to Erebor.

“I have to ask you to stop, though.”

“My king, with all due respect,” Fíli tried to choose his next words very carefully, aware that he was walking on a very thin line. “Suitors are unforgiving. How is he supposed to find one, without knowing how to behave around them?”

“He is an omega and doesn’t need such knowledge. I know that you handle these things differently in Erebor, but here we follow _our_ customs and with the way Thorin spoke of you in his letters, I thought you smart enough not to meddle with our traditions. Otherwise I would’ve never accepted your services.”

Dáin’s eyes were gleaming darkly, sending a shiver down his spine and causing Fíli’s heart to speed up with a sudden lurch of horror. It almost sounded like Dáin was going to send him away, to remove him from his duty, to force Kíli to fend for himself in Mahal knew what environment.

He opened his mouth to reply, if for an apology, explanation or other sort of ramble he didn’t even know, just something that wouldn’t separate him from his friend. But no sound passed his lips, for another voice cut through the thick silence.

“It was my fault.”

Both, Fíli and Dáin turned to Dwalin. Fíli could barely belief his words.

“Fíli came to me for advice. He was unsure how to proceed. I encouraged him to teach Kíli. I am deeply sorry to have misjudged the situation.”

He had half a mind to protest. It had never been in his intention to pull Dwalin into this after he’d made his aversion for Fíli’s decision known, let alone allow him to take the blame now. This had been all his doing, but Dwalin was looking at him with an expression that clearly said _don’t you dare to open your mouth now_ and so he didn’t.

Dáin's interest in Fíli deflagrated in the blink of an eye, his attention on no one but the captain of his guards.

“I see,” the king said coldly. “You may go, Fíli. Just stop what you have been teaching my nephew and we will forget about the matter.”

Fíli swallowed hard.

“Yes, my king.”

He felt nauseous as he left Dáin’s study. Dwalin was saving his hide in there, for something he hadn’t wanted to be involved with. Fíli’s legs were shaking so bad it was surprising they were still carrying him.

What had he done?

 

 


	18. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli's heart gets broken.

 

 

Kíli was awaiting him anxiously when Fíli returned, pale and queasy. What would happen to Dwalin now? Of course he didn’t regret helping Kíli, but he was blaming himself for allowing Dwalin to protect him, after he’d been against his interference in the first place.

“Are you all right?” the brunet asked him worriedly, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth while waiting for an answer.

Fíli swallowed hard.

“We will have to lay low for now. Dáin found out I am helping you and he was less than thrilled.”

“And?” Kíli pressed fearfully.

He had half a mind to lie, say that he’d simply been cautioned, however, it wouldn’t be right and make him no better than Dáin.

“Dwalin took the blame. That’s all I know for now,” he explained with a deep sigh. That a mostly good day had to end like this... He cursed Dáin silently, while he slipped out of his coat.

“Then you need to stop,” the brunet replied determinedly.

Turning around sharply, his coat still in his arms, Fíli stared at his friend in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t want you to get in trouble for me, Fíli. It’s not worth it.”

A torrent of ice seemed to shower him, as he spotted the resignation on the prince’s features. Without thinking he threw his coat to the ground, bridged what little distance separated them, reached for Kíli’s nape and pulled him close until their brows touched.

“Listen,” Fíli said fiercely. “Dáin is in the wrong here. What I have done in the past few weeks isn’t even rudimentarily what you deserve. You deserve to be in charge of your life again and I might not be able to give you that, but I won’t allow him to do as he pleases. He is working against his own laws, so there is no way I will give up now. We will be careful and I will only teach you, when we are completely alone, but we won’t go down easily, all right? We won’t let him win like this. Are you with me in this?”

Kíli’s eyes were shimmering moistly and even though it was impossible to miss how hard he fought against the tears, in the end one or two still escaped once he blinked. But he nodded against Fíli’s brow, causing the tension to drain from Fíli's body. Exhaling with relief the alpha took a step back.

“Good. You are my friend, Kíli, don’t forget this.”

The following hours went by quietly, they had dinner and went to bed early, but Fíli had trouble sleeping. He couldn’t stop his thoughts roaming, wondering if it was truly his loyalty to all his lessons that urged him to risk so much for Kíli or if it were the tendrils of love wriggling around his heart. Perhaps all of his actions came from selfishness and the thought scared him. Forced into a corner, unable to figure out his own motivation, questioning himself who he actually was right now, was making his head spin.

It wasn’t normal for dwarves to love more than once, at least that was the knowledge he’d grown up with. Was he some sort of freak? He felt ashamed of betraying Frerin’s love and trust. His betrothed deserved better, someone who wouldn’t soil his memory with the desire of kissing another man. It might be common for different races, but for dwarves it was an act of disgrace. How could Mahal create a dwarf like him?

Weeks ago Fíli wouldn’t have questioned his own judgement. In Erebor he knew his place, how the world worked, which duties he had to fulfil and which lessons to attend. He knew the name of his beloved and found security in the certainty that his father and his friends loved him. Here only one thing seemed to be clear. He had somehow managed to fall in love with Kíli, albeit it shouldn’t be possible. No one could give him the answers he longed for. After all, it wasn’t like he could ask Mahal himself.

But there had to be something wrong with him, how else could this new flame of love be explained, when it was supposed to be against the nature of his people? Were there other cases like him? How had they dealt with it? And if so, had anyone bothered with writing them down or had the affected dwarves hidden their shame?

Fíli knew only one, who could give him the answer. It would be humiliating to ask and he already feared it could cost the fragile friendship they had built. However, he couldn’t let those feelings fester before they got too strong to be controlled. If he understood what he was dealing with, he would hopefully be able to contain them. Why was this happening to him? First he had to lose Frerin and now he was attacked by feelings he shouldn’t have.

Everything in him seemed torn and ashamed, a small voice whispering cruelties into his ears, which he very well deserved as he knew, but wasn’t able to stand nevertheless.

Rubbing his hands over his face he got up. It seemed like he wouldn’t fall asleep anytime soon, so he could as well try to read a bit, to escape the screaming thoughts. At least his last day off was coming up soon, so hopefully he didn’t need to live with those constricted emotions for too long.

To his surprise it seemed like he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep, because he found Kíli in the living room. They examined each other briefly with surprise.

“Can’t sleep?” Fíli asked to dispel the awkward silence.

“My… my back itches. I can’t reach everything with the ointment.”

Fíli blanched.

“Mahal, Kíli. Why didn’t you say you needed help?”

Kíli avoided his eyes in clear embarrassment.

“Come on. Take your tunic off and let me do this for you. I can understand why you don’t like to ask for help, but you know you can trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know, I just thought after today-“

“Nothing has changed,” Fíli said softly, touching the other’s shoulder reassuringly.

After some prodding Kíli finally slipped out of his tunic, revealed his back, where a few areas more had been scratched raw. Fíli winced in sympathy.

“This might burn a bit now,” he warned Kíli.

“Everything is better than the itch,” the brunet responded.

The first touch made the omega cringe at the unexpected contact, but he soon sighed with relief, as the ointment began to soothe his irritated skin.

“How long will the rash stay?”

“A few days, a week at a max.”

Fíli hummed in understanding. He’d hoped for Kíli’s ordeal to be over much sooner, but a week was probably not so bad, at least if they didn’t forget to put the ointment on him.

The blond worked silently and conscientiously, leaving not one of the red wheals unoccupied.

“Fíli?” Kíli asked by the time the blond was almost finished.

“Mh?”

“I thought… well… there is this place in the Iron Hills I have never seen, but 'amad has told me stories about it. They are called the ‘ _Glittering Caves_ ’ and before she was cast out, she and 'adad would met there often. She said it’s the most beautiful place of the Iron Hills and I thought… perhaps we could visit them on your day off?”

Fíli grimaced. It sounded lovely, but there was urgent business he had to attend, before the guilt of falling in love with Kíli would crush him.

“I… I actually already have plans,” he replied, voice deprived of confidence.

“Oh,” the disappointment in this one sound made his chest constrict painfully.

“Perhaps we can go on another day?” Fíli offered instead.

He hated to see Kíli sad and as much as he liked spending time with him, this matter couldn’t wait – or maybe it did, but Fíli didn’t want to procrastinate.

“No, no it’s fine,” the prince tried to refuse. “It was just an idea.”

“Kíli-“

“No, Fíli. It’s fine, really. Just forget about it.”

But how could he, when it seemed to mean so much to him. Kíli’s whole body language showed him, though, that he wasn’t going to discuss it with him anymore and since Fíli was hurting enough as it was, he refrained from arguing. Sending both of them off to bed with a heavy heart.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kíli was getting dressed for his date with Arik on the next morning, when Dwalin entered the chambers. The way he appeared, shoulders not squared – which seemed to be the first time in his life – set a heavy lump in Fíli's throat.

"What did he say?" the blond demanded to know immediately, in lieu of a greeting.

"That I betrayed his trust again. That I have two weeks to sort everything out and have to leave the Iron Hills afterwards, to never return. A letter has already been sent to Thorin."

Dwalin sighed and lowered himself in one of the chairs, massaging his brow. It was the first time Fíli truly noticed the decades on the other’s features. He looked old and demoralized, not like the warrior that would tell him stories about great battles or smuggle him into a tavern for a tankard of ale, even though Fíli had been far too young to drink at the time. This was a man, who had fought and lived and lost and whose loyalty had been forsaken to protect Fíli.

"What?" the blond gasped. "He can't do that, can he?"

"He can and he did. He warned me after I helped Kíli the first time. I knew that he wouldn't let it pass so easily this time."

"If you knew, then why did you take the blame?"

There was no reason, really. If Dwalin had wanted to support him, he would've done so right from the beginning, instead of discouraging Fíli from helping Kíli.

"Because you were right."

Fíli blinked, staring at the other in disbelief. After all those warnings about a possible war... why?

"What has changed your mind?"

"I have seen Kíli happier in the few weeks you helped him, than I have seen him for months. I might not have known him as good as you, when all of this started, but I have visited Dís often enough to understand what a little rascal he is, never standing still, always moving and smiling..." He shook his head vigorously. "I wouldn't have hesitated for a second had it been you in his place. Now I will have to live with the knowledge that I was one of those that broke his spirit."

"Dwalin-"

"Don't try to argue. This is my burden to bear. I have come to the wrong conclusion and will accept the consequences."

Fíli had no idea how to reply. He didn't want to see him like this. Dwalin had always been strong and fearless. Seeing him like this now made his stomach twist with nausea. Fíli knew it was stupid, knew through his father far too well that no one could always be strong, but there was still this image of his childhood imprinted on his mind. Of uncle Dwalin, the greatest warrior, a man with coarse humour and a soft heart, hidden under confidence and strength. Fíli felt the image shaking under the sight in front of him.

He wasn't given the time to come up with reply, for the door to Kíli's room opened and the prince stepped into the living room. He stopped when he spotted Dwalin. They stared at each other for a couple of heartbeats, before the bald dwarf got up and walked over to Kíli.

Kíli took a reflexive step backwards and Dwalin froze, anguish visible on his features.

"Are you scared of me, laddie?" he asked softly.

The prince was avoiding his eyes. He looked helpless and small, his walls had long since crumbled in Fíli's presence and taken the anger with them.

"I was angry at you," Kíli began to whisper, "for not helping me, for supporting Dáin, for leaving me alone. I wished for so long you would go against his orders, maybe help me to escape. A part of me hated you."

Dwalin bent slightly, as if the brunet had physically hurt him.

"But I didn't think. I didn't understand what helping me would truly mean for you or Fíli or 'amad or anyone. I just wanted it to stop, but I didn't want any of you to suffer for my sake. I don't want that. You shouldn't have helped me."

"Oh, no," Dwalin breathed.

Not stopping this time, he engulfed Kíli in one of his strong and warm hugs.

"Don't think like that. We want to help you for the same reason you don't want us to. Don't take the blame for something you have no control over. It is Dáin and only him. You have done nothing wrong."

"Except insulting you," Kíli's voice was muffled at Dwalin's broad chest.

A choked laugh erupted from the other's throat.

"You had your reasons and I deserved it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, laddie. I never held it against you. I'm the one that has to apologise. I failed you."

Fíli felt like an intruder watching this scene displaying before his eyes, but he was also grateful for Dwalin's presence. Even though the guilt hadn't stopped gnawing at him completely, for letting Dwalin intervene, it was soothed at least to some extent by today's outcome.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Something wasn’t right. Fíli noticed it immediately, when Arik showed up and lacked his usually enthusiasm. Kíli seemed irritated and the blond couldn’t fault him, so far every date with the alpha had went fine and now, all of a sudden he acted reserved and kept a certain amount of distance to his intended.

The actual plan of the day, a little competition of who could find the most beautiful rock among a pile of scree near the mines, turned soon into a dull activity none found particularly easy to tackle. Kíli cast concerned glances at the suitor, before he went back of inspecting stones. Like that it continued for some time, until the brunet couldn’t take it anymore, threw the rock to the ground and faced Arik with only a hint of fear on his features.

“Have I done something to displease you, lord Arik?”

The alpha huffed.

“Are you taking me for a fool?”

Both, Fíli and Kíli stared at him in surprise, unable to connect his words to any reason. It angered the other alpha further, causing him to kick the pile of rocks with an upset frown.

“It seems like you are more interested in your guard, then in any of us,” Arik growled in frustration.

“That’s not true!” the prince hurriedly denied, eyes wide with shock.

But the suitor simply snorted and shook his head in disbelief.

“If it isn’t true, why would you dance with him but not with Sindre? I heard what happened, so you can stop lying,” Arik demanded furiously. “Is this just a game for you? Fooling those who hope for a future with you, while you tumble in the sheets with your bodyguard? I won’t accept such mockery.”

Fíli felt nauseous, cursing his own improvidence. He should’ve known that dancing out in the open with Kíli could turn into fuel for gossip. He knew better than that. It just had seemed like such a good opportunity, with the music and the crowd to blend in with, but he should’ve realised that a prince was never able to disappear among others just like that. Had his actions driven Sindre away? Had part of him perhaps done it on purpose? Had it truly been his desire to help Kíli or had jealousy led his actions?

“I am not interested in my guard, at all!” Kíli blurted out so fast, it cut deeply into Fíli’s chest. Not a second of hesitation, of course.

Even though he hadn’t wanted the brunet to fall in love with him, to experience an emotion being stoked Fíli shouldn’t have, it still hurt hearing him admit he wasn’t returning his feelings. No insult or terrible behaviour Kíli had displayed during the first weeks could in any way compete to the cruelty of this moment. He had to fold his arms behind his back to hide the trembling of his hands, his mask about to crumble. Fíli wasn’t able to say how he managed to hold himself together.

“For Mahal’s sake, quit those games Kíli. I don’t want to hear it!” Arik groaned with frustration.

“But I’m telling the truth! I’m-“ The prince’s gaze wandered to the blond, desperation and utter helplessness practically screaming at Fíli through his expression.

He was pleading, begging Fíli to help him, to somehow solve this problem and here he was and didn’t want to, didn’t want to lose Kíli to another man. It was selfish and inappropriate and Fíli hated himself for these thoughts crossing his mind. Kíli wasn’t an object he could take. Kíli was his friend, a friend in need about to lose… the person he loved. Not once had Kíli cared for any of the other suitors withdrawing from the courtship feast. Arik’s displeasure and his looming rejection on the other hand, filled him with anguish and fear.

Fíli couldn’t stand seeing Kíli like this. He swallowed hard.

“Tell him the truth,” he forced from his lips, a twisted sense of pride overcoming him, as he noticed that his voice had barely croaked at all.

At first Kíli stared at him as if the blond had lost his mind, but when Fíli brought himself to nod encouragingly, the prince took a deep breath before turning back to Arik.

“I didn’t know how to dance and didn’t want to humiliate Sindre with my own shortcomings. Fíli offered to teach me.”

“You didn’t know how to dance?” Arik sounded as if he didn’t believe it.

Kíli swallowed with difficulty. “I don’t know how to act around nobility. I’ve never learned. The king never cared to teach me. What little I know is what Fíli taught me during the last weeks. I am inexperienced in so many areas, but please, believe me, I don’t take this feast lightly. It was my wish to find a betrothed this way.”

“What is with your parents? It should’ve been their duty to teach you,” Arik replied, confused.

“They didn’t have the resources. I was born in a banished line and have never been prepared to be a prince.”

They were both waiting anxiously for Arik’s reaction, who needed a moment to process everything Kíli had just entrusted him with.

“I didn’t notice something was amiss.”

“All thanks to Fíli, he taught me well,” Kíli praised him, the words sending bittersweet longing through Fíli’s veins.

Arik passed the little distance separating them, reaching for the omega’s hands and squeezing them reassuringly.

“You truly have the heart of a fighter, withstanding all those struggles the king forced you to endure. Thank you for telling me the truth.”

Fíli hovered in the distance afterwards. Tried to ignore how close the prince and Arik sat, talking so softly no word drifted to his ears. He knew he should intervene, when their lips met for a gentle kiss, when Kíli closed his eyes and allowed the alpha to pull him close, when it didn’t end after one kiss. How could he begrudge the prince his happiness after all the pain?

Averting his gaze Fíli felt his heart shatter.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can gladly announce that this story is waiting finished on my laptop. At the moment I'm working on a couple of side stories for this 'verse, for there are just some scenes that wouldn't fit in the narrative style the story is told in and some that won't be addressed in the story, but which I am tempted to explore. That said, it certainly won't be more than perhaps 7 little stories/chapters and when they are finished I want to say goodbye to this 'verse, unless there are things you want to see explored. If so, please let me know and I will try to include them, for once the side stories have ended, I'm most likely not going to write more in this 'verse.
> 
> So if there is anything you want to see, you have time until... let's say a week after the final chapter has been posted to tell me and I would try to put it into the following side story collection. :)


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli learns something about Ones he hadn't known before

 

 

The following days Fíli pretended as if nothing happened. Tried to smile and to be encouraging, while everything in him screamed for relief and no joy would reach his eyes. When Kíli smirked at him over a pretentious alpha attempting to show his strength in working in a forge bare-chested, which, of course, couldn’t have ended any other way than in burned chest hair caused by sparks, Fíli barely managed to raise the corners of his mouth in time to avoid raising suspicion.

He was putting all his hopes into his visit of the library and Ori’s help, hoping there was something wrong with him for having those feelings and that he could be cured. Fíli couldn’t say how long he was able to take the heartbreak and his own guilt at loving another person so deeply, when it should’ve only been Frerin.

A strange sense of unrest was torturing Fíli by the time he reached the library and spotted Ori handing out a book. Would he judge him? View him as a freak? Of course he didn't need to talk to Ori, he could just try to find the books he was looking for himself. However, he was aware that the redhead knew this place better than anyone else and would be able to soothe Fíli's frantic mind with just the right book, fetching it in just a couple of minutes, at least if there was something to soothe in the first place. If Fíli went on the search for intended books, it was very well possible that he wasn't going to find them today, considering the seize of the library and the cataloguing he still didn't completely understand.

Then again, Ori was one of his few friends in the Iron Hills, informed of Kíli's situation and even though the courtship feast was going to end in two days and Fíli's departure therefore not far away, he didn't want to lose this friendship nevertheless. Not because of some sort of weirdness dwarves shouldn't develop.

Frerin had been his One, there was no denying, but because of it those feelings shouldn't exist. He shouldn't have to fight this battle. He shouldn't feel like he'd betrayed his betrothed. And just standing here wasn't going to offer him any answers, he needed to ask for help, if he wanted to understand what was going on, if he hoped to solve this problem. Taking a deep breath, imagining inhaling a good amount of courage, Fíli walked over to Ori.

The young scribe smiled brightly, once he noticed the blond and hurried towards him to greet him.

"Fíli! It's great to see you," the light in his eyes dimmed a little, once he shot a glance over Fíli's shoulder and wasn't able to spot Kíli. "Why isn't Kíli with you?"

"It's my day off and we had different plans," he replied vaguely.

Ori, though, could not be fooled so easily. The dwarf knew of the fondness between them and that they barely spent time apart if it wasn't necessary, Fíli using all of his free time to teach the prince and prepare him for the interaction with his noble suitors.

"Is everything all right? Did something go wrong during your hunting trip?"

Fíli rubbed his brow with a sigh. Right... Ori had no idea that Fíli hadn't been careful enough. So he quietly told him the short version about the events of the recent days, drawing for the first time a curse from Ori's lips when he finished.

"If there is anything I can do-," the scribe started, but Fíli interrupted him.

"I appreciate it, Ori, really, but the courtship feast is almost over, there isn't much you and I can do now."

The other hummed in agreement, not sounding happy in the least.

"Well, any particular reason you are visiting me or did you just want to say hello?" Ori changed the subject and shot him a small smile.

Fíli was immediately yanked back into his inappropriate feelings, forcing him to glance around nervously. Needless to say, Ori realised something was wrong right away.

"Fíli?" he said gingerly.

"I need a book or anything, really. They can be written traditions or whatever this library has to offer," he babbled. Fíli felt as if he was a child again, about to confess a mishap. He hadn't struggled with this sense of insufficiency and shame for a long time and found it hard to continue.

Ori's expression of mild concern had turned into deep worry.

"Are there...," he swallowed hard, "are there any documents about dwarves loving more than... once?" Fíli almost choked on the last couple of words.

"You mean Mahal's gift?" Ori frowned.

"Gift?" he asked, unable to associate it rationally.

"Oh," the scribe gasped in understanding. "Oh! You don't know! Of course you don't know. I'm sorry, I read far too much and sometimes forget not everyone knows what I do."

"Ori, what are you talking about? Are there books about it or not?"

This wasn't making any sense, why would Ori know something about the dwarfish concept of Ones no one else did? Not that he wanted to offend the other, but this seemed made up out of thin air.

"That depends, how good his your Ancient Dwarvish?"

"Terrible, to put it mildly."

Fíli had always focussed on Khuzdul and Westron. There had been two years of Ancient Dwarvish, taught to him by an elderly scholar, unfortunately the lessons hadn't continued for long, other aspects of his education deemed more important, especially since there was barely any use for a dead language. Fíli assumed he might be still able to read it, but doubted he could remember the meaning of even one word.

His heart sank at the thought. Had he lost his only chance of understanding what was going on with him? The hopelessness must've been visible on his features, for Ori patted his left shoulder reassuringly.

"Well, in that case I will fetch the documents and you can ask me, what I can't remember I will simply translate for you."

"Don't you have to work?" Fíli wondered, while he was barely able to believe his ears.

"Nothing that can't wait," Ori appeased him and pulled Fíli towards a restricted area of the library.

Somehow Fíli was going to repay the redhead's kindness, he simply needed to figure out how. The decision was soon muffled by the sight stretching in front of him. The documents stored here in the dim light, probably to protect the ink on the old scrolls of parchment, had to be hundreds of years old, if they didn't date back to an even earlier age.

He couldn't help but envy Ori, as the young scribe purposefully led him to one of the shelves and reached for a set of scrolls. They took a seat at a table, where Ori very carefully began to unfurl the parchment, as to cause no damage to the script.

"Is there anything here you haven't read?" Fíli asked, staring at the glowing stone above them, spending a soft light, less bright than the crystals capturing the rays of the sun and transporting them into the mountains. Moonlight, the blond realised. He had heard of stones like that, able to save the different kinds of light, but had never seen one before.

Ori laughed softly.

"I wish that was true. It would take years to read everything and I can't take so many days off, besides, Ancient Dwarvish is more complex, but at the same time more interesting. There is so much to learn, it's hard to choose sometimes. The days of Durin the Deathless have always been fascinating, though," the young scribe explained.

Staring at the other with wide eyes, Fíli had trouble comprehending Ori’s remark. What he wanted to know was dated back to Durin the Deathless, the dwarf with the tenfold higher lifespan than any normal dwarf? The dwarf predicted to live _seven_ lives?

“Durin the Deathless?” he asked eventually, voice sounding as if there wasn’t enough air in his lung.

“The one and only,” Ori smirked. “Well then, you wanted to know about dwarves loving more than once. The answers are in this document. What I still remember is that it’s not uncommon to fall in love more than once.”

“But then why are we calling the person we fall in love _One_ , if that isn’t the case?” Fíli pressed immediately.

In connection with his protest the redhead began scanning the text for the right passage, lips soundlessly forming the words his pointer followed.

“Ah, here it is. _And it was said that Mahal wished the clans of his children to be as one and like Durin would reunite his people in bonding with every clan throughout his lives, Mahal offered the same gift to his children._ ” Ori leaned back slowly. “It’s basically saying Durin would marry once into every clan.”

Fíli folded his arms in concentration. Durin was reborn time and time again, keeping his memories of every life, therefore he also had to remember his _One_ , but he was still able to love again to bring the clans together. For dwarves like Fíli and Ori and all the other death meant the end, but if Mahal had given them the same gift as Durin…

“Does this mean every dwarf has seven potential Ones?” Fíli asked.

“That’s how I understand it as well,” Ori nodded. “One person in every of the seven clans. The scroll mentions at another point that Mahal wants to see the dwarves grow and this is one more prove, in my opinion. There are many dwarves dedicating their lives to their craft. There would be many lonely homes, if there was just that one person we could love so deeply.”

The scribe got a point. Dwarrowdams and dwarves, preferring their craft over love or simply not caring for marriage at all, were as common as the desire to bond. However, if there was truly only one for each member of their folk and if that person would furthermore decide against marriage, there should be a greater amount of unbonded men and women. More than one potential One sounded plausible and yet…

“But that doesn’t explain why we are talking about _Ones_ in the first place. And what about soulbonds?”

“Soulbonds are given by Mahal and don’t emerge on their own accord. When both parties declare their love for each other during the wedding ceremony and their love is true, Mahal will bind their souls together and they will truly become each other’s One.”

Ori stopped his explanations to look for another paragraph in the document.

“It says here that soulbonds aren’t created in arranged marriages, when no love exists between the parties. Mahal wouldn’t be as cruel as to bind two people together that might hate each other.”

A soulbond couldn’t be broken that much every dwarf knew, but what would this new realisation mean for second marriages if the first one was loveless and arranged and one partner had died? Having found and lost your One and intending to marry again as a result, on the other hand, wasn’t accepted among dwarves. Dwarves bonded for life, if it was their craft or a person didn’t matter, marrying again after the loss of their One was therefore deemed shameful and disrespectful, for it degraded the erstwhile promise of faithfulness and love. Their folk was stubborn in that matter like they were with everything.

What did this mean for Fíli now? His love for Frerin had been true, but his love for Kíli seemed to be the just as valid. Both of them belonged to his potential Ones. The knowledge made it easier to accept. There was nothing wrong with him, the conflict inside him wasn’t so easily to overcome, though. Frerin and he hadn’t been given the opportunity to declare their love to Mahal, to bond, but their togetherness had been a big part of his life.

The love for Kíli was a fragile thing, like a fledgling about to attempt to fly. Unexperienced in every sense of the world that was all Kíli, only knowing certain things, but not yet able to discover his true flaws, seeing the world that awaited him, wide and open and promising in its beauty. Bad times were not yet something to be regarded. It was dangerous. New and exciting, it muffled his senses, wanting to fly and refusing to stay in the nest.

But even though they were dulled, they still could spot a grown bird in the distance. Strong and wise and informed about the difficulties of love, a symbol of trust and belonging. Frerin.

Fíli was given the opportunity to stop the fledging from leaving the nest, stop it from growing into something he couldn’t control. He could keep his focus on Frerin, on a bird he was barely able to see at the horizon, flying in a distance he would never be able to bridge again, could keep familiarity and the safety through knowledge and experience. But even with his eyes turned to the horizon he could still hear the fledgling cheep, aware that if he turned away now, he would allow something beautiful to wither away, forbidding it to achieve its full potential.

Just the thought broke his heart. He wanted for those feelings to grow, especially now that his view had shifted. But he still felt like a terrible dwarf, even though he wasn’t shaming Frerin, the certainty that the man he’d loved for so many years had never been his One and would never be, burned like an unforgiving fire through his veins. This alone should’ve been enough to feel conflicted and torn, causing him to drown in despair. The worst, though, was that Kíli didn’t love him back. The prince’s heart belonged to Arik.

Had he known. Had he simply known it wasn’t wrong to love again, he might have made good of what little chance he was given to win Kíli’s heart. After all, it wasn’t forbidden to fill the gaps of withdrawn suitors as long as both sides were fine with such a decision and it would be possible to catch up with the dates. Now though, it was too late. His heart was breaking with understanding. Frerin was lost forever and Kíli would never return his feelings. In that moment, it was as if Frerin had died once again, pulling Kíli into the dark abyss with him and leaving Fíli so very alone.

What had he done to deserve this? To be denied happiness a second time? A happiness he wasn’t even allowed to enjoy to its fullest before it was taken from him.

A terrible pressure constricted his throat, while tears began to burn behind his eyes. He just wanted to love and to be loved in return, was that truly too much to ask? He shouldn’t have come here. Should’ve barricaded himself in his room after Frerin’s death. He wished he’d never met Kíli.

“Fíli,” Ori asked worriedly as the blond wiped the first tear away, ere it was able to run down his cheek. “Are you okay?”

Instead of an answer his lips wobbled dangerously. He whimpered, unable to suppress the sob sitting in his throat completely.

The next he knew were arms engulfing him in a warm hug and Fíli clung to the comfort they offered, crying helplessly in Ori’s arms.

“It’s Kíli, isn’t it?” the young scribe whispered into his hair. “You love him.”

He nodded, breath hitching.

“I didn’t know I was allowed to love a second time. I thought something was wrong with me. That I was shaming Frerin’s memory. But Kíli is a Longbeard and Frerin was a Broadbeam.”

As close as they were, Fíli was able to hear his friend swallow with difficulty.

“From what I’ve read it was forbidden to speak about it before dwarves bonded. Some were greedy and forgot Mahal’s gift was about love. They played with their beloveds, choosing the person with the greatest fortune and kept on the right side of the others, just in case. A law followed in hopes to stop the greed, but I guess instead Mahal’s gift fell into oblivion.”

Fíli didn’t care how reasonable such a decision had been. It wasn’t helping him in the slightest, didn’t soothe the ache in his heart nor the anguish devouring his soul.

“Are you… are you sure, though that Kíli doesn’t love you?”

“I’m sure,” he said, as his chest rattled with another sob.

Ori strengthened the hold around him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Fíli returned to his chambers, he felt tired and shattered. His eyes and pharynx hurt from crying and the skin on his cheeks seemed strechted too taut over his bones. Avoiding Kíli for the rest of the day was just as painful as being close to him, but he wasn’t trusting himself with hiding his emotions.

Of course this plan wasn’t working very well. The brunet soon realised something was wrong, knocked at his door and shyly asked if he was alright. When he couldn’t bring himself to answer, the door began to open slowly and Kíli peeked inside.

“Can I come in?”

He looked worried and hopeful at the same time. Despite everything in Fíli protesting against it, he couldn’t send Kíli away. It was the sweetest kind of torture one could inflict on oneself. He wanted Kíli as much at his side as he wanted to push him away. The omega hurried inside, once he saw Fíli nod.

Carefully, he took a seat beside the blond on the bed, examining him nervously.

“Are you all right? Has something happened while you were out?”

Fíli shook his head. Nothing had happened, nothing that hadn’t already harrowed him before he’d met with Ori.

“No, I’m just going to miss you when all of this is over.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Knowing Kíli would marry another alpha soon didn’t hurt any less than having to leave in a few days. He shouldn’t have gone to the library, should’ve enjoyed what little time they were given. Sure, Fíli had told the prince he would visit and he still intended to, but no one could really tell when they were going to see each other again.

Kíli laughed sadly.

“Now that the day comes closer I can’t stop thinking about that either. You are the only friend I got here.”

The guilt leaped at him all of a sudden, hasting his heartbeat and setting nausea into his stomach. He hadn’t even thought of how lonely this day without him must’ve been for Kíli. Would it continue for him like this, regardless what kind of alpha he chose in the end? Oh, how he wished to take him back to Erebor and give him the freedom he deserved. As it was, he only possessed the resources of the Iron Hills. It wasn’t much.

“Do you still want to see the Glittering Caves?” Fíli asked, remembering the way the brunet’s eyes had shone, as they were mentioned the first time.

The hopeful expression crossing Kíli’s features was all he needed as an answer.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Another sleepless night had passed, his haywire thoughts leaving Fíli not a minute of rest. He was exhausted by the time he had to get up and was regarded with a concerned glance by Kíli. The blond simply smiled reassuringly, ignoring the way the corners of his mouth wanted to protest against this movement. Perhaps he hadn’t managed to sleep, but after hours of regret and rekindled tears he had understood that torturing himself wouldn’t work. Of course understanding something didn’t automatically mean he could implement it.

However, Fíli would rather have Kíli as a friend than never seeing him again, would rather see him happy instead of never have met him. What Fíli felt wasn’t important, he just longed for the brunet’s smile to return, wanted to gaze at him while the expression on his face changed from happy, to cheeky, to gratefulness, gentleness, warmth, adoration, pride, hope. No craftsmanship would ever manage to compete with what wave of emotion one look at Kíli unleashed deep within him.

And so Fíli tried to lock up his feelings behind an inner wall, in hopes of hiding them from his friend. Using there looming farewell as an explanation for his melancholic mood. Kíli’s life was about to change immensely once again, many difficulties in need of surmounting ahead of him. The least he needed was to deal with Fíli’s troubles. Besides, after losing Frerin, Fíli should be capable of handling it by himself. The thought wasn’t able of bolster him up.  

The last date of the courtship feast went by smoothly and the prince and his guard headed towards the Glittering Caves afterwards. It took some time of asking for directions before the finally reached the place Kíli had requested to see.

As soon as he set a foot into the caves, he knew immediately why Kíli’s mother used to meet her husband here. The dim lighting made it hard to see beyond shadows. There were no lanterns nor crystals illuminating the wide caves, there was no need and it certainly would’ve destroyed the atmosphere of this place. At such an early time of the day, they were completely alone with the luminous stones. In every corner of the caves rocks were protruding or hanging in form of stalactite from the ceiling. Purple on black, green on red, yellow on blue, it was glowing everywhere, soft and bright, little dots against wide spots. It felt as if these Caves had inherited a small piece of enchantment that couldn’t be found anywhere else.

Wandering through the caves together, they stared at every glowing stone in fascination. The shape of Kíli’s finger would brush over the rough rocks, ere he would rub his fingers together, as if he could capture a part of luminescence that way. There seemed to be so much still to learn about this world. Glowing rocks… He was a dwarf, knew about smithing and the features of Mithril, but had never dared to think stone like this might exist, stone that wasn’t glittering in daylight because of hidden wealth. Here it appeared as if the light came from deep within it.

Despite the turmoil of the last days and his confusing emotions, Fíli felt strangely at peace.

“Can I ask you something?” Kíli asked softly. He was quiet but there was still a slight echo, carrying his voice through the wide caves.

“Of course, what do you want to know?” Fíli replied easily.

He wasn’t able to see his friend’s face in the scarce light, but assumed whatever it was he wanted to say would be a serious question.

“It’s about the one you lost.”

As on reflex, Fíli’s right hand reached for the bead in his hair.

“What about him?” he croaked, the familiar feeling of a too tight throat choking him. Fíli might be able to admit his love for Kíli, but Frerin’s loss would always hurt. His first love, the man he’d intended to spent the rest of his life with.

“You are wearing the beads he forged for you, don’t you?”

“Aye.”

It was silent for a couple of heartbeats, giving Fíli the time to regain his composure.

“What happened to him?”

He inhaled deeply, then opened his lips to speak.

“Frerin worked in the forges by the mines. That’s what he wanted to be all his life, an extraordinary smith and he was on the right track. But then, about a year ago, there was an accident in the mines. Some miners ventured into an instable part of the mines. They thought they knew better than my father’s experts, thought they could boost the profit, thought if they were careful nothing would happen. They were wrong. The part of the mine collapsed, burying not only them, but the dwarves that tried to stop them. Frerin was one of the first at the scene of the accident. He had always been brave and far too kind. He helped as many out as he could, but he didn’t get out himself. He lost his life trying to save others. It took days until we had the place secured enough to retrieve his body.”

He brought his hand to his cheek to wipe the tear away, having fallen without him noticing.

“I’m so sorry, Fíli,” Kíli breathed, obviously lost for words.

Fíli could hardly fault him. There had been no words to describe the pain tearing his chest apart either, once the knowledge had sunken in for the first time.

“I miss him every day,” Fíli admitted. “He was everything I ever wanted. We had made so many plans, thinking we had all the time in the world, but… life is short and cruel. You would’ve liked him, he was calm, but always up for some fun. We would’ve made a great team, the three of us,” Fíli laughed softly, realising how true it was.

“Tell me about him. What was he like?”

And Fíli did. He talked about how they met, about Frerin’s likes and dislikes, some of the trouble they had gotten themselves into, about their journey to Dale and Mirkwood, told Kíli some of the terrible jokes Frerin deemed funny and about which Fíli only managed to laugh, because Frerin had such a unique way of telling them. He spoke of stargazing in summer nights and huddling up in front of the fire on the coldest days of winter. Fíli was barely able to stop after he’d began and warmth flooded his chest the longer he went on, not only because of Frerin, but because a part of the pain slowly melted away by talking about him.

Almost like healing.

 

 


	20. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the courtship feast is close and Kíli chooses Arik.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hit me after this chapter! *ducks*

 

 

_Kíli didn’t know when it started. When his heart began to beat faster in Fíli’s presence, when every touch, every smile, every word of praise would sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. He just knew that he noticed when Fíli was holding him close, while he writhed with cramps, coming from his stupid decision of eating the fish, regardless of the feared outcome._

_In retrospective falling love with Fíli seemed like the most natural thing. He stood by his side, ignoring the risks he was taking to help Kíli. If the omega acted cruel without reason Fíli stopped him. The blond wasn’t just his guard, he was his teacher, his companion, his dear friend. He encouraged, soothed, worried, helped, made him laugh. Kíli had become a better person because of him._

_The first thrill at recognising his feelings didn’t last for long, though. Perhaps he wasn’t as smart as others and hadn’t a great knowledge of the world of nobility, but he knew what the beads in Fíli’s hair meant. They spoke either of a spouse or a betrothed. Fíli had already found his One. There was no reason to hope, the alpha would never fall in love with him._

_There was that tiny spark of hope in the beginning. Kíli loathed himself for the wicked wish of winning Fíli over. The beads might belong to a betrothed, but engagements could be terminated. Kíli was a terrible dwarf, wanting to ruin something beautiful, while Fíli looked at him with such fondness. When he thought back at it now, he wasn’t sure if he truly would’ve tried anything._

_It didn’t matter anyway. The moment Fíli had spoken about losing someone dear to him and watching how his hand wandered to the beads, Kíli had understood. Fíli had lost his spouse. It was only accepted for married dwarves to wear the beads of their dead lovers. In that moment his heart had broken for Fíli. He wanted to soothe him, heal the pain in his heart, but he couldn’t do any of that without fearing to blurt out his secret. Fíli had done already too much for him, the least he should have to worry was about Kíli’s feelings._

_Arik’s words about his interest in Fíli had scared him. Fíli couldn’t know. What if he lost his friend? What if Fíli would change his way of treating him, because Kíli’s love for him made him uncomfortable? What if he changed his mind about visiting him?_

_Therefore he had been quick to deny it, surprised how easily the lie slipped past his lips. The relief of being able to keep his secret had almost caused his knees to relent. He liked Arik well enough, had accepted his embrace and kisses, but the tingling of their first kiss hadn’t accompanied the following ones. Instead it had felt wrong, the warmth he longed for lacking, the gentle brush of lips awakening no desire for more inside him. Forbidding himself to protest, he had returned the kiss nonetheless and accepted everything Arik offered him, this was a courtship feast, after all. He was supposed to find a mate and Arik was the one he could imagine building a life with, perhaps not in love, but friendship would do well enough._

_Visiting the Glittering Caves a few days later seemed like the worst mistake he’d ever done. It was a romantic place couples liked to stop by and Kíli had suggested going there in a moment of recklessness and thoughtlessness. Hearing Fíli talk about his One showed him quite plainly that he’d never stood a chance with him. Sure, Kíli was the one asking about him, but he’d simply needed to know and who said curiosity was naturally a good thing?_

_After listening to Fíli talk about Frerin for hours Kíli had made up his mind. Tomorrow he was going to promise himself to Arik._

****

 

* * *

 

 

 

Fíli waited in his room, while Kíli informed Arik about his decision. He couldn't be there to see it and thanked whoever had made the rule of privacy for such a crucial point in the courtship feast.

It had been a wonderful day yesterday, spending time with the prince in the Glittering Caves and finally talking about all the things he and Frerin used to do and which he hadn't dared to utter after his death. Why he hadn't done it before was beyond him, perhaps it had been the dim light of the caves, protecting him from pitying glances or Kíli was simply the only person that felt right. After all, the brunet hadn't tried to soothe him, to reassure him, to cheer him up, instead he'd asked a couple of questions and otherwise let Fíli talk. And the blond felt liberated now, not anymore as if he was going to choke on that wave of emotions inside him. For the first time he thought he might be able to come to terms with Frerin's death.

Then, however, Kíli informed him of his decision to marry Arik, by the time they had finished dinner, and what had been a great day so far, suddenly developed a bitter aftertaste. Fíli had troubles falling asleep yet again, turning from one side to another, but never getting comfortable. In his mind he saw their marriage, saw Kíli smile at Arik in that one certain way he wanted to have all to himself. Everything inside him was screaming to stop him, to tell him the truth, to beg Kíli to take him instead. But of course he didn't, he would never be able to put himself between the brunet and his happiness.

At least he wasn't forced to remain at the prince's side, while he promised himself to another. Sparing him from one more sight of pain, not that it would matter much in the long run, Fíli was grateful nevertheless.

When he heard a door close on the other side of the wall, indicating that Arik had left, Fíli took a deep breath, bracing himself for the joy radiating from his friend's features. What he saw instead, though, turned all the words, sitting on his tongue, to ash.

Kíli was sitting hunched over in a chair, hands buried in his unplaited hair, and crying openly. Recovering from the initial shock, Fíli hurried over to him, kneeling beside him in hopes to catch his gaze. Worry was twisting his stomach with nausea, his heart pounding so loud he was surprised it didn't echo from the walls.

"Kíli, what's going on? What happened?" he urged his friend to speak, unable to offer any help without knowing what was going on.

"He refused," Kíli choked out, after a heart-breaking set of sobs tried to rip his throat apart.

"What?" Fíli exclaimed in disbelief. "Why would he do this? You two got along so well?"

There was no reasonable explanation as to why the suitor should decline. Wasn't he part of the courtship feast to find his mate as well? And what was all of that talk about, then? About how he couldn't wait to meet Kíli again, about the kisses and the gentle treatment? There had to be a misunderstanding!

"I don't know," Kíli replied, his whole body trembling under the force of the tears. "Oh Mahal, I have to marry Rosbart." His despair seemed only to grow at this realisation, causing Fíli to get up with determination.

"I'm going to talk to Arik," Fíli informed him, if he hurried up, he could still catch him.

Kíli's only response was another sob.

He was out of the door in a couple of seconds. There was no relief inside him about Arik's rejection, only pain at seeing Kíli like this. Kíli loved him, deserved to be happy and Fíli would be damned if he simply allowed this guy to walk away, without even trying to change his mind. Had Dáin threatened the suitor? It seemed like the only comprehensible explanation as to why Arik shouldn't be overjoyed at the prospect of marrying Kíli.

Spotting Arik's dark head of hair as the other was about to leave the royal wing, Fíli ran to catch up with him.

"Lord Arik!" he called, causing the other to stop and look at him in surprise.

Reassured, Fíli noticed the otherwise empty hallway they both came to a stop at, giving him the opportunity to speak openly.

"Fíli? What can I do for you?"

"Why did you refuse to marry Kíli?" he demanded to know, not caring for any sorts of courtesies, his friend's suffering frame too prominent in his mind.

Arik stared at him as if he couldn't make any sense of Fíli's question.

"You don't know," he stated with realisation, causing the blond to frown and drawing a chiding smile to Arik’s lips. Fíli wasn't able to tell if it was addressed at him or the lord himself. "Mahal and here I was, thinking you were involved."

When the other started to chuckle, Fíli became irritated.

"Involved in what?" he snapped, already tired of Arik's not quite expressive phrases.

"Oh, use your head," the other alpha huffed, obviously annoyed by Fíli's lack of comprehension. "Who would want an uneducated omega like him? Perhaps if he was pretty, but there is truly nothing appealing about a beardless mongrel."

Fíli could barely belief the sneered words. This wasn't the man declaring his affection for the prince, this seemed to be a completely different dwarf. Had all of this been a sham, a game to win Kíli's heart just to dump him later? Hadn't his friend been through enough already? Did someone really have to play with his feelings on top of everything else?

Fists clenching with suppressed anger, Fíli hissed: "Why?"

"Why?" the other surveyed him as if it should be obvious. "I guess because Dáin pays well."

"Dáin," the blond repeated, the frown on his brow deepening with the disgust attempting to devour him.

"Well of course, did you truly think Dáin would just give everything he has left to an omega like him, to see it ruined by the first available alpha seducing him? The king is smarter than that and if this boy was my nephew, I would've done the same."

This was a new level of malice Fíli hadn't even thought Dáin capable of. Did he have no honour? He tore Kíli from his old life, treated him with nothing but cruelty, offered him to the derision of his people and now didn't even back off from sabotaging the traditions he'd sworn to respect.

This man... this mad bastard!

"How many were bribed?" Fíli growled.

Arik shrugged nonchalantly. "A third of the suitors? What does it matter?"

So it was safe to assume every dwarf leaving the courtship feast had been an honest man, perhaps they had moronic values, but every one of them was a better person than the dwarves involved in this charade – except Orm, of course, there was no excuse for such a vile alpha. After all, why should they have withdrawn from the feast if Dáin paid them so well? The knowledge felt like a blow to the stomach.

"Don't look like that. It was just a bit of acting, omegas like that lovey-dovey nonsense and it all worked out so well."

Fíli's wrath merely increased, noticing that Arik assumed he supported those actions and was simply displeased, because he hadn't been privy.

"No need for bad blood. I got my gold, Dáin gets what he wants and everyone his happy."

"Except Kíli."

Arik snorted.

"He doesn't need to be happy. He just needs to lie on his back, spread his legs and do what he was born for."

His fist collided with Arik's nose before the alpha was able to blink. The force of the blow threw him off his feet, while a satisfying throbbing pulsed through Fíli's hand, in the cadence of his rapid breaths.

"You will pay for that," Arik groaned, still writhing on the ground and holding his bleeding nose. Fíli hoped it was broken.

"I can’t wait for it." He just needed a reason, a kick or a badly aimed punch, even an insult would do. Anything to beat that despicable mind-set out of his head.

The other, though, was smarter than that, staggering a bit once he got up – Fíli’s chest swelled with satisfaction at the sight – and ran off instead. Fíli glared at him until his shape disappeared in the distance, shaking his throbbing hand, regarding the blood sluggishly oozing from where the skin of his knuckles had burst with a sense of pride.

This mountain seemed to be filled with imbeciles and Fíli would gladly give all of them a taste of what they deserved, if it would just help with the irrepressible anger burning inside him.

He took his time returning to Kíli’s chambers, trying to calm himself on the way and faced with the question what they were going to do. What he’d hoped to be a simple misunderstanding had turned into the biggest intrigue he could think of. There was no saving Kíli. He would be forced into an arranged marriage, with a man who would treat him like an object. Fíli had heard a little about the settlements in the Grey Mountains. They indulged in polygamy, whereas every other clan condemned it, going against their beliefs. Therefore it wouldn’t surprise Fíli if Kíli ended up being the fifth or sixth spouse of Rosbart. He assumed Dáin didn’t care about it, as long as he deemed the alpha marrying Kíli experienced at ruling, and a chieftain of the Grey Mountains had to fit the mould pretty well.

Fíli had to stop at one point, the urge to hit the wall barely resistible. This couldn’t be happening. Their efforts were going to be wasted, their fight in vain. He knew a way to help Kíli, but didn’t want to save him from a loveless marriage with coaxing him into another. Right now he couldn’t even tell if it was a good idea to tell the prince the truth about Arik. He was suffering enough as it was, did he truly need to know he had been deceived once again?

On the other hand, perhaps Kíli would never love him, but spending the rest of his life with a friend was certainly a kinder future than he could otherwise hope for. Perhaps the brunet would refuse as soon as he mentioned it, however, a choice was the least Fíli could offer him.

Kíli’s eyes met his without hope, when he entered the living room, apparently already expecting that Fíli wouldn’t manage to change Arik’s mind. Every doubt of mentioning his thoughts evaporated at Kíli’s defeated expression.

“He won’t come back,” the brunet uttered in resignation.

“No, he won’t,” Fíli agreed, deciding to keep Arik’s true nature to himself for now.

“Balin has turned the other’s down, before sending Arik to me.”

Fíli hurried at his side, as he noticed Kíli’s quivering chin. It appeared as if the omega hadn’t shed all his tears yet, which didn’t surprise Fíli, there certainly weren’t enough tears to wash away all the pain inflicted on him during the last months.

“I have a suggestion,” he began carefully, pulling a chair over to take a seat opposite to the prince.

His friend met his gaze quizzically.

“You don’t have to agree, if you don’t want to, but please think about it before refusing right away.” Inhaling deeply he tried to dispel the nervous trembles from his limbs. “Marry me.”

“What?” he blurted out, his eyes going comically wide.

“I know I couldn’t give you what you want, but… but I don’t want our efforts to be wasted. And certainly there is worse than living in a marriage with a friend.”

“But… the courtship feast, we… I mean, you-” he stammered, unable to finish his sentence.

“It is allowed to take the place of another as long as we honour Mahal as the traditions require. We trained together, had dinner, visited the Glittering Caves, went hunting and danced at the festival of lights among other activities. We have done everything we need, the only thing missing is your approvement. Will you accept me as your suitor, Kíli?”

During his speech he had reached for one of the brunet’s hands, stroking the skin reassuringly. Even though Kíli didn’t pull away, his features didn’t look convinced. Instead there was worry and indecision radiating so openly from his eyes it made Fíli’s chest constrict. He knew rejection might await him and yet he wasn’t feeling prepared for it in the slightest. Of course, promising himself to a loveless marriage wasn’t a turn he’d ever imagined his life might take, but he would take the possible pain ten times over surrendering Kíli to a brute of the Grey Mountains.

“Your father-” the prince began to protest.

“-will understand,” Fíli finished the sentence.

“Are you sure?” Kíli pressed furthermore, every new question causing the blond’s hope to wane a little more. “Marriages like that-“

“They aren’t ideal,” he interrupted his friend again, begging to find a way or the right words to help Kíli understand his intentions. “I don’t do this, because I’m your guard or because I pity you. You are my friend and if I can help it somehow, then I won’t see a friend of mine suffer. If you can’t imagine accepting me as your suitor, I understand and won’t hold it against you.”

Sending pleading glances to the other he waited. Kíli eyes darted to and fro, not focussing on anything while he seemed to process everything Fíli had just told him. The guard was sweating in his thin tunic, awaiting his friend’s answer with an equal amount of fear and anticipation.

Eventually Kíli swallowed hard and nodded sharply.

“Okay,” he croaked, his bloodshot eyes shimmering moistly, turning them into an even angrier red.

A wave of relief rolled over Fíli. It was a small win, never able to contain the victory he actually longed for, but it was more than he’d hoped for not long ago. He was given the opportunity to get Kíli out of the Iron Hills, offer him chances he deserved and got to spend the rest of his life with him, if they managed to overcome the next hurdles. The blond only regretted that love would never bind them together.

Nevertheless, he smiled encouragingly, since Kíli was looking as torn as he felt, despite his acceptance.

“All right,” Fíli breathed softly. “I guess we will have to look for a forge immediately. We will need the beads to interchange by tomorrow, just in case Dáin will cause trouble.”

And Fíli was sure that the king wouldn’t accept the choice of his nephew just like that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... umm... would you believe me if I told you that it was always planned that Arik was bribed? I don't know what it is with me and characters like Arik. Perhaps because I've met people like him a little too often in my life, wrapping you around their little finger, when you just want to trust someone and let go of your walls, just so they can stab you in the back when it's the most convenient for them.
> 
> I hope revealing what I planned right from the beginning with Arik doesn't come across as lazy writing or something, because as mentioned, he is a character that developed from personal experience.


	21. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Kíli announce their engagement to Dáin and the court.

 

 

Finding a forge willing to let them make the beads overnight wasn’t that hard. Omega or not, Kíli was the prince and the success of the courtship feast was taken very seriously by dwarves that didn’t know about Dáin’s intrigue. Fíli still paid for the material to make things easier and the two dwarves set to work.

They worked together on a mould after discussing the design, crafted it from stone, smelted silver and cast it in the same mould, waited for it to cool, heated it again until it became soft enough to meld back and front side and cut the silver until it gleamed, ready to be engraved. It took multiple attempts until they found their rhythm, weren’t too hectic and gave the silver enough time to adjust to all those steps, so that by the time they were finished both of them were sweaty and completely exhausted after a hard, sleepless night. Fíli even more so, considering all his lack of sleep his worrying about his feelings for Kíli had caused.

But despite the tiredness, he was still able to smile. They had managed in time, with honouring the craftsmanship they had fulfilled all steps necessary for an intended and a suitor in a courtship feast. The laws would barely give a handle to the king. The last date took usually place after both parties had promised themselves to each other in the presence of their parents and guardians or in this case, the king and his court. Waiting though, would certainly end in Dáin not accepting Fíli’s admission to the courtship feast and the blond wasn’t in the mood of risking anything.

Therefore he smiled, while they braided the beads in the other’s hair, feeling finally less hopeless looking at Kíli’s future.

A quick bath and a few bites for breakfast were all they managed before a guard turned up to escort them to the ceremonial hall, where Dáin would announce the result of the courtship feast to his court, the suitors and their families. Fíli took a deep breath, silencing the new sense of anger seething through him at the thought of seeing Arik and all those other bastards playing so readily with Kíli’s life. The exhaustion nestling within his bones seemed to help, holding on to wrath felt like more effort than it was worth.

The guard noticed the beads in their hair almost instantly, but didn’t address his observation, simply chaperoning them to the hall, where three months ago the feast had been opened.  It was decorated in the same fashion as it had been in the beginning, red banners featuring Dáin’s crest, every little part of the hall making it no secret who ruled the Iron Hills, displaying the king’s power. Suddenly Fíli understood why Kíli had despised the decoration so much.

Even though Fíli was used to being stared at, he was a prince after all, entering the ceremonial hall was different nonetheless. Usually people looked at him with some sort of awe and respect, what he met in this moment was, to put it charitably, shock, in all objectivity however, they looked horror-stricken in their bewilderment. The only person seeming relatively calm was Balin, standing beside the king.

Dáin was waiting at the end of the hall, in the centre, members of the court and guards standing on his right and left. Even Dwalin was among them, a couple of days probably not yet enough to appoint another man as the captain of the guards. Yet Dáin’s lost trust in him was easily recognisable by the distance between them, seeing as the tattooed dwarf was positioned near the wall, too far away to cause any harm. Suitors and their families, on the other hand, were forming a path with the way they were positioned on both sides of the hall. They began to whisper as Fíli and Kíli walked up to the king.

Fíli barely paid them any mind, although, admittedly, he couldn’t help but smirk at the bruises covering Arik’s nose. That’s what a bastard like him deserved. His eyes were turned to the king almost the whole way, his steps not faltering, at least until his gaze landed on the small crowd among the suitors, honoured to stand closer to the king than the other dwarves.

Of course they were positioned depending on their wealth and influence. Therefore a tailor, regardless how popular his clothes, would always stand near the entrance to the hall, whereas a merchant was naturally going to line up closer to the king. Those people, though, were sticking out through their garments. Different fabric, different colour, different crests than what Fíli was used to in this realm. Fíli wasn’t able to suppress the sense of foreboding attacking him at the sight, filling him with dread and hastening his heartbeat.

Kíli didn’t seem to have noticed them, whilst his stiff posture revealed his discomfort, it didn’t seemed related to this certain group of people, but rather coming from the entirety of dwarves staring at him. Fíli wanted to take his hand, squeeze it reassuringly until his friend felt less alone and exposed, despite the blond at his side. Unfortunately they needed to be careful and Fíli couldn’t say which little gesture might be enough to topple the uncomfortable atmosphere surrounding them.

Dáin scowled at them as they came to a halt in front of him, disbelief and anger painting his face red, whereas Kíli seemed to shrink under his gaze. Fíli couldn't fault him, they were clearly outnumbered in this hall and if he wouldn't be busy with calculating his approach of the situation, he might've looked equally frightened as Kíli.

To avoid provoking the king even further, Fíli bowed.

"What's the meaning of this?" Dáin demanded to know.

"We are here to announce our engagement to the king of the Iron Hills and his court. We ask you, Dáin Ironfoot, to honour the courtship feast, like we honoured Mahal, and grant us your blessing."

This time Fíli didn't hesitate, reaching for the brunet's hand and intertwining their fingers, intending to leave no doubts to the present dwarves, watching the scene unfold, that they were serious. Dáin's eyes narrowed with disapproval.

"You have no claim here. You weren't part of the courtship feast."

"I am. As it is custom, the intended is allowed to accept another suitor if one or more drop out, as long as the traditions of the feast are accomplished. I admit, usually it is rarely made use of, but it doesn't change the fact that this possibility exists and is approved. Therefore prince Kíli accepted my wish to court him," Fíli argued, voice slightly raised to ensure his words reached the members of the court.

"This custom might be common in Erebor-," the king began his response, but Fíli was having none of it.

"As it is common in the Iron Hills! Ages ago our forefathers agreed on uniform terms for the courtship feast, so that in case a dwarf of a different realm wanted to court the intended, they wouldn't need to adjust themselves to unknown traditions. Are you implying that you, king Dáin of the Iron Hills, aren't paying our ancestors homage?"

It was a dangerous game he was playing right now. Implying a king acted dishonourable was never a smart decision and most often than not viewed as an act of treason. Right now, though, Dáin was surrounded by his court and the suitors and their family. If he wanted to save his own face, then he couldn't commit himself to anger, but had to follow the laws. Gossip was far more precarious than a little imputation rectifiable in a few seconds.

Besides, it wasn't as if Fíli was lying. Ever since dwarves could remember, courtships feasts were performed like this, it was a way of finding a mate secluded from the parental ideas. Of course, usually intended and parents had a good relationship and therefore worked together, it didn't change the fact, however, that every decision during the feast had to be made by the intended and suitor. No one could be forced to court someone they didn't want and neither had the intended to choose someone. The feast was characterised by the parties, searching for their mate, and no one was allowed to protest.

Sure, there were always some defying the traditions, attempting to break up the couple and with some they succeeded whereas others were too headstrong, but one thing they couldn't do, regardless how much they tried, forbidding them to bond.

The people in the hall whispered louder this time.

"The prince and I had dinner, trained together, visited the Glittering Caves, danced at the festival of lights and forged the beads together, we are wearing right now. As it is demanded we honoured Mahal. The courtship feast was a success and I ask the king of the Iron Hills to acknowledge it," Fíli met Dáin's gaze defiantly.

"Is this a joke?" an unknown voice made its presence felt.

Fíli glanced to the small group of dwarves, where a man had stepped forward. He had to be about Dáin's age, dark hair and beard streaked by silver. The beads holding his hair and beard spoke of many accomplishments. Leader, hunter, warrior, slayer of orcs and at least four spouses, if they could even be called like this and weren't simply whores for him, objects he could use whenever he pleased, but without any attachment. His clothes spoke of wealth and of the membership to people living in settlements located high in the mountains, exposed to coldness and icy gales.

If this wasn't enough to tell Fíli, who he was looking at, then the crest embossed into his jerkin was all the information he needed. Rosbart of the Grey Mountains.

Why was he already here? If he had come to claim his prize, shouldn't he have been informed after the courtship feast if his and Dáin's plans were still up to date? It should've taken him weeks to reach the Iron Hills, but here he was. The king must've truly trusted the bribed suitors. It seemed like he couldn't wait to get rid of Kíli.

Rosbart marched towards Dáin, a furious expression on his features. The hand in Fíli's began to tremble and Fíli gave it a light squeeze, hoping it would be enough reassurance for the moment.

"You won't stand by this mockery, will you?" he demanded to know with outrage. "We have a contract! Him in exchange for the first two alphas he bears!"

So this was it. Dáin didn't want to marry Kíli off, so his spouse could rule, but rather wanted to raise the next generation himself, with Rosbart available as heir in line to the throne, if something happened do Dáin before any birth could take place. Fíli felt sick with anger. This was even worse than he had thought.

The king coughed awkwardly, uncomfortable with the way things were progressing.

"Of course not. The performance of our arrangement has priority."

On instinct Fíli shoved Kíli behind him, as if shielding him from the eyes of the king could protect him.

"So you want to defy our Maker?" Fíli exclaimed, heart pounding so loud inside his chest, he was surprised the sound of it wasn't echoing from the halls, but drowned in the steadily growing murmuring.

Dáin glared at him.

"Certainly the traditions of your kingdom, of your _peopl_ e have to mean more than a contract, especially one that was signed weeks ago, when no one was able to tell if the courtship feast would be a success or not."

He was thinking so fast, trying to come up with arguments to stop Dáin from selling Kíli. But what could he do, if the king decided to defy his laws? There was nothing to stop him. Dáin was king and had to answer no one. He was mad, no longer listening to reason, no longer respecting his folk and Fíli was outnumbered and couldn't fight their way out of here. 

To his horror, Dáin smiled.

"The contract was signed today, after I was informed Kíli failed to find a mate, so the contract is valid."

"But the courtship feast wasn't over. A courtship feast doesn't end before you, as Kíli's guardian, announce the result!"

Fíli's eyes wandered to Dáin's court. The dwarves there looked more and more uncomfortable, the longer the discussion continued. Someone... someone had to see the illicitness of Dáin's actions! They couldn’t just stand by and allow this to happen!

The king gave one of his guards a nod, which instantly walked over to them, aiming for Kíli and not caring in the slightest that Fíli was shielding him.

It couldn't end like this. They hadn't fought so hard just to lose against a man that followed his own agenda and broke his own laws. Fíli's mind went completely blank. Lost... they had lost...

There was only one thing he could do. Draw his sword and fight them off as long as there was breath in his lungs. Surrendering without a fight was out of question.

"Stop!" Balin's voice suddenly echoed through the hall, silencing the jumbled murmuring and causing the guard to halt. Every gaze turned to Balin, who faced Dáin with an expression Fíli had never seen on his features before and therefore couldn't place. "He is right, my king," the king's advisor continued. "The courtship feast ends with the announcement and not a second earlier."

The amount of amazement Fíli had to be displaying had to equal the one of betrayal in Dáin's expression. If he thought, though, that Balin was magically on his side, Fíli was mistaken.

“Nevertheless,” Balin added before the king was able to make his displeasure known, "did the king have good reason to believe the feast had failed."

The beta ignored the glare Fíli sent into his direction. For a moment he'd thought Balin had changed, but he was still only rooting for peace and held no sympathy for the victims suffering in order to achieve it.

"So, which one outweighs the other?" a member of the court asked.

"None," Balin didn't hesitate to answer.

A sinking feeling lodged itself in Fíli's stomach as he watched the court initiating a brief, quiet discussion, while the other dwarves present had fallen silent to the tension, settled in the hall. Fíli swallowed hard, could almost sense the fear radiating from Kíli, still hidden behind him. What would this answer unleash? If none of their arrangements possessed the required emphasis to win, how was this day going to end? Would they rip the omega from his hand like they had already tried to order?

He couldn't lose Kíli. The brunet might not love him, but now that Fíli had him, he wouldn't give up without a fight. He didn't care what would happen to him in such a case, he couldn't stand by and watch.

But perhaps... perhaps the court would see reason. It was a desperate thought, considering that they followed the same laws as Dáin and didn't mind the terrible treatment of their prince, but maybe they hadn't succumbed to the same madness as Dáin and were more reasonable and valuing their traditions. Dáin certainly couldn't get away with it, without the support of his court, could he?

"What do you advise?"

The court eventually addressed Balin. At first Fíli was confused, wondering why they wouldn't make a decision on their own and informing the king of it. Then, however, he remembered that Balin was handling foreign affairs, among other things, for Dáin and with Rosbart and Fíli both being no citizens of the Iron Hills, it wasn't surprising they expected him to have a solution.

Meanwhile Dáin seemed to be fuming with anger, now that his plans weren't progressing the way he would've liked.

"Honouring Mahal should never be taken lightly," Balin said, catching Fíli's gaze and sending a silent apology his way. The blond alpha wasn't able to say if it belonged to the following words or Balin's lack of support during the last months and felt as if his heart was going to explode from the speed it latched onto at the uncertainty. "By all means, Erebor is an important ally, can we afford to lose them just because a decision was taken too lightly?"

"He is just a guard! Surely king Thorin would understand."

Fíli had to bite on the insides of his cheeks to refrain from snapping at them that his father wouldn't approve of anything they were doing right now!

"He isn't just a simple guard, he-," Balin began, and certainly there was no better time to reveal Fíli's identity – he would gladly take whatever the advisor came up with, as long as it was going to end this mess – but wasn't able to finish.

"I demand a duel!" Rosbart’s voice boomed through the hall. "Enough with these pointless discussions. Let’s decide this the practical way. I challenge you to a duel, laddie, unless you are too much of a coward to fight me."

"A duel isn't necessary," Balin tried to intervene. "The king and the court will decide what-"

"Either you honour our contract or I demand a duel! I won't accept less! I have not taken the long way to fetch what was promised to me to turn around like a beggar now."

At this point Fíli didn't care anymore what he had to do, the important thing was that Kíli could leave this dreadful place with him. The king had been strangely absent-minded during the whole argument, appearing almost helpless as the control of the situation was slipping from his grasp. Now, though, Dáin squared his shoulders, glaring at Fíli with the same disgust the blond held for the king.

"Let them duel. No one shall say I defy our traditions," Dáin sneered at Fíli.

By command of the king the guards spent the following minutes with ushering the dwarves to the walls of the hall, allowing Fíli and Rosbart a wide fighting range. Kíli averted his eyes, the uncertainty so visible in the way he chewed on his bottom lip, all the blond wanted to do was to wind his arms around him, hold him close and promise him everything was going to be all right. But now wasn't the time and it probably wasn't even his place. Despite being friends it was possible Kíli might not welcome such an intimate embrace.

"Don't think about it," he therefore only whispered. "I will fight and you won't stop me."

"I don't want you to get hurt," Kíli replied, returning his gaze hesitantly.

"And I can't see him take you, knowing he will treat you like an object he can use whenever he pleases." Fíli said softly, reaching for the brunet's nape to pull him closer, pressing their foreheads together in a comforting manner. "I will do my utmost not to get hurt. I promise you."

Kíli's exhaled a shaky breath, before he nodded against his brow.

"Once we are in Erebor, you won't have to worry anymore about being an omega. You will be able to go hunting, to train with your bow or sword or whatever weapon you want to use. Your parents are welcome to move to Erebor as well and you will see Bofur and Bombur again. It will be all right." It reminded them both of what they were fighting for. A brighter future, away from the Iron Hills.

They weren't given much time before they had to break away again. The guards, positioned between crowd and the middle of the hall, formed the fighting ring. Fíli headed determinedly towards Dwalin, the only dwarf he trusted with Kíli.

The bald dwarf patted the blond reassuringly on the back. "Rosbart is a brute, he relies on violent force. Try to be fast, exhaust him."

Fíli nodded, eyes turned to where Rosbart was already waiting.

"Dwalin," he hissed, pressing so close to him, the following words would be too quiet to reach Kíli, who seemed to be deep in thought anyway, but Fíli didn't want to take the risk. "Should I lose, you need to get him out of here. I don't care if it causes a war, you need to protect him."

Even though Dwalin had apologised, Fíli couldn't help but expect refusal, so when the other nodded gravely instead, a mixture of shock and relief shot through him.

"I promise."

"Thank you," Fíli exhaled a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding and with a last soothing squeeze to Kíli's hand, the blond entered the fighting range.

They bowed to each other, ere they drew their weapons, Fíli the twin swords and Rosbart a broadsword. The blond had expected him to use the axe, but the chieftain from the Grey Mountains seemed to follow a different tactic. In the end it didn't matter, when his opponent initiated the first attack, Fíli's attention belonged solely to the fight.

With a roar Rosbart lunged at him. The guard sidestepped the blow, remembering Dwalin's words and avoiding a battle of strength. But Rosbart was faster than his brawny shape let assume. Barely missing Fíli, he braked, using part of the force from the first attack to wheel around. His sword collided with Fíli's, a clashing sound echoing from the walls as the vibrations of the steel wandered up to the blond's upper arms.

Rosbart pressed, trying to use Fíli's own blades, still parrying his, to hurt him. He was smarter than that though, taking a step back while calculating how the strength of the other would change in that case. Fíli wasn't going to get himself into the match Rosbart obviously desired. He had no illusions about standing a chance in duel of pure force. The braid's indicated many victorious battles, while his build spoke of a well-trained dwarf.

But where Rosbart had his strength, Fíli had his agility. Experience against youth. Force versus tactic. Claim of ownership against love.

Fíli dodged another attack, before he initiated one of his own. His enemy needed to retreat as he realised he couldn't fend off both of Fíli's swords. Not using a shield in a fight with the blond was never a smart move, but Rosbart didn't look too concerned yet. The other dwarf simply changed his stance and went at him again, causing Fíli to leap to the side.

They began circling each other, eyes going to footwork and the blade in their opponent’s hand, searching for a weakness in their defence. Out of the corner of his eye Fíli noticed the gate to the ceremonial hall opening, but couldn't process its meaning, not when one inattentive moment could make the difference between life and death.

Rosbart's next attack consisted of another charge, when Fíli tried to sidestep once again though, the dwarf rammed his feet to the ground, stopping himself for a turn and rammed his shoulder into Fíli's chest. The air was pressed from his lung as he lost his footing and landed on his back. A second, not more was necessary, and although his breathing protested, Fíli had trained long enough to keep control over his body and rolled out of the way, ere Rosbart's blade could hit him, the time the other dwarf needed to strike out a heartbeat to slow.

With a safe distance between them, Fíli got back onto his feet, taking short, light breaths to suppress the irritation of his throat. He wasn't able to catch a long break through, for Rosbart went at him again. Their swords clashed together, again and again and again. The sound swelling, taking on a deafening nature the more often it rung out.

Attack. Parry. Feinting. Avoiding. Block.

They were both bleeding from minor wounds, clothes cut apart in those regions, when the sleepless nights began to take their toll on Fíli, when the first rush of adrenalin was ceasing and the hard work of a few hours prior tickled his consciousness. Fíli needed to end this fight.  _Fast._  Or worrying and lying awake for hours was going to defeat him. He couldn't let that happen, not when he and Rosbart seemed to be on a par.

It was a bold idea, using Rosbart's own tactic while he wasn't yet exhausted, but perhaps he was tired enough for it to work. And in the end, Fíli had no choice but to try or he would be the one to faint from exhaustion, his eyesight was already going fuzzy in irregular intervals, he couldn't wait any longer.

His swords painted a curve as Fíli began, attacking both of Rosbart's sides and pushing him backwards in his struggle to block. The blond's muscles burned from the strain, sweat running down his back and brow, while he relentlessly dealt blow after blow. His breathing had sped up, heartbeat pounding as hard against his ribcage as the clashing blades.

Fíli saw a hint of fear in Rosbart's gaze and knew he'd finally gained the upper hand, even though he was barely able to keep going with his volley of attacks. His enemy was slower now, hardly able to parry without retreating. The wall was coming closer with every stroke of the sword and once driven into a corner Fíli would win. Rosbart wouldn't be able to defend himself and would yield. Fíli only needed his body to hold on until then.

The dwarf tried to evade the next blow and the blond's foot shot forward. The kick caused the chieftain to lose his balance, stumbling backwards he crashed against a pillar, the crystalline lantern on it wobbled dangerously for a second, before falling to the ground, shattering into countless shards.

Fíli hovered over his opponent, one of his swords pointing threateningly at his back.

"Do you yield?" It was a duel, deaths weren't uncommon at such occasions, but Fíli had no desire to kill, he just wanted to take Kíli home with him and forget everything about this awful place.

Swaying slightly while waiting for Rosbart's answer, Fíli had to swallow hard, fearing for the nausea to overwhelm him otherwise. It had been a long time, since exhaustion had punished him with vomiting and the blond would prefer to avoid experiencing it, if possible.

"Do you yield?" Fíli asked again, louder this time.

Rosbart was still turning his back towards him, fingers loosely holding the hilt of his sword.

"Yes," the dwarf whispered, barely audible.

"Louder!" Fíli demanded. "Do you yield?!"

"I," the chieftain's other hand, curled around some of the shards. "-won't!"

Shards were flung at Fíli.

Raising his arms on reflex, he protected most of his face before they could cut his skin. But it left him open for Rosbart's next attack.

One of his swords slipped from his hand at an unexpected blow, the next one, aiming for his leg, Fíli hardly managed to deflect. He screamed as it sliced his thigh open. Warm blood gushing over his leg, down to his boots, turning the ground slippery as he tried to dodge and evade. The wound was bleeding profusely, his hurt leg no longer intending on following his command as Rosbart's fist slammed into his temple. The back of Fíli's head crashed into the wall behind him.

He didn't feel his body slip to the ground. Rather felt Rosbart's looming presence next to him than seeing him. Blackness crept over his vision, soothing the pain exploding in his head.

"Fíli!" Kíli's scream was the last thing he heard.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_It was warm, a soft breeze playing with his hair, while the grass tickled his nose. The songs of birds reached his ear, overwhelming him along with the smell of fresh, early summer air. He took a deep breath, enjoying the mixed scent of flowers and grasses hitting his nose. It spoke of life, the beauty of the world and Fíli stretched in the rays of sun._

_There was a chuckle right next to him. Fíli's eyes flew open in a heartbeat as everything came rushing back. The Iron Hills, Kíli, the fight. But it all seemed to fade at facing the person, sitting beside him._

_Fíli blinked with shock, not trusting his eyes._

_"Frerin?"_

 

 


	22. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of the duel are revealed.

 

 

_Frerin smiled at him in that warm way Fíli had loved the most, his gaze gentle and apologetic. Seeing him like this, his dark hair flowing over his shoulders, the braids, carrying Fíli’s beads, softly waving in the breeze made his heart ache with guilt and grief._

_Before he was able to apologise for falling in love with another, Frerin took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly._

_“Don’t,” Frerin whispered. “You love him, that’s wonderful, Fíli. You are allowed to be happy. I don’t want to see you wither away. I don’t want you to deny yourself joy.”_

_Fíli’s eyes went wide with surprise._

_“You know about him?”_

_Frerin nodded._

_“Of course, how could I not?”_

_Had Frerin been watching him all this time from the Halls of Mandos? Was this even possible? Fíli didn’t know much of the place they were supposed to go after their death and losing Frerin hadn’t really encouraged him to change that lack of knowledge either. Seeing him fall for another man though… how much it must’ve hurt him and still here he was, comforting him._

_A hand touched his cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone and Fíli couldn’t help but lean into it._

_“I miss you.”_

_“I know,” Frerin replied softly. “But you have Kíli now and I’m very happy for you.”_

_It was then that Fíli’s mind returned to the situation. Having Kíli? He was here with Frerin, was he not? This could only mean one thing._

_“But I don’t, do I?” he said, reaching for Frerin’s hand and carefully drawing it from his face. “I’m here with you, which means I’ve died. Rosbart killed me,” he added hoarsely._

_He had been ready to fight for Kíli, perhaps even to die for him, but the reality hit him as such a heavy blow, imagination could never compete with._

_Frerin shook his head. “Not yet.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

His lids seemed to carry the weight Erebor, as he slowly found his way back into the world. His arms were heavy, his head hurt and there was a burning coming from his leg, dulled by something that made his mind foggy, but Fíli couldn't tell what it might be. He felt terrible, just wanted to return to the warm meadow and curl up next to Frerin, forgetting that the pain even existed. But try as he might, now that he'd awoken he couldn't fall asleep, despite the pain he found himself in, floating in a strange mixture of tiredness and wakefulness.

His fingers began to stroke over the soft bedding, focussing on something else than the pain. The room smelled of all sorts of herbs, ointments and tinctures. Yes, definitely alive and someone had done their outmost to fix him up again. What made that Frerin, though? A dream? Or had he truly meet him. Fíli couldn't tell and didn't really feel like thinking about it. His mind wandered around, choosing one thing at the time to care about, which was why it mostly stayed with the texture of the blanket covering him.

At one point he must've made some sort of noise, perhaps because the burning in his leg turned more and more into an inferno the longer he was awake, since there was suddenly movement in the room. A hand propped him up, careful not to jostle his leg and pressed a cup to his lips.

"Here, drink. It will help with the pain."

It was then that Fíli realised how thirsty he was, swallowing the whole cup without resistance and not even particularly minding the taste of the concoction, which should tell him something about his condition. Before he could think too much about it, the pull of sleep regained its strength and carried him into blissful ignorance.

The next time he came around, Fíli finally felt like facing the struggle of opening his lids. As soon as he did, though, he wished he hadn't. Light stabbed into his eyes and the blond closed them with a groan.

"Shh," someone soothed him, fingers gliding through his hair and stroking him oh so gently.

Fíli whimpered. He felt lost in the heaviness of his body and his still foggy mind. Processing information seemed either to work not at all or so very slowly. It was frustrating, the thoughts slipping from him, before he could fully understand and voice them, giving way to other things. There seemed to be something he should say, ask, beg for. The moment with Frerin was his clearest memory right now – it was a memory, wasn't it? – but it wasn't what his heart desired. It was screaming for something, with its muffled voice however, Fíli was unable to understand it.

He slipped away again, to fingers not once disturbing their rhythm.

The third time it came all rushing back. Kíli. The fight. Being defeated. He sat up so fast, calling for his friend, that dizziness attacked him not a heartbeat later, causing him to sway in bed and almost landing sideways on the cushions. Someone caught him right in time, leaning him against the headboard, while he was still willing the world to stop spinning. Panting, he fought against the sudden nausea pressing on his stomach. Luckily it left him once his surroundings went back to motionlessness.

He blinked then, numbly examining the room. Fíli was in the Iron Hills, in his room of the princely chambers. Huh... He couldn't say why, but somehow he'd expected to wake up somewhere else.

"Fíli, are you with me?"

Sluggishly he turned his head, the first strength at the rush of adrenalin already drained from his body, leaving him again weak and lightheaded. His eyes widened as he realised, who was sitting beside him.

"'Adad?" he asked in disbelief. What was he doing here? Fíli hadn't received any message of him coming to the Iron Hills. "What-," he swallowed, his tongue felt as if it was glued to the roof of his mouth. "What are you doing here?"

Rather than offering an immediate answer, his father filled a cup with water. Fíli reached for it thankfully. With shaking hands he took a sip and another and another. Enjoying the invigorating feeling of the fresh water running through him, he didn't even care that Thorin had to steady the cup, so it wouldn't slip from his trembling fingers any moment.

"Are you in any pain? Your head? Your leg?" Thorin asked, after his son had finished.

Fíli frowned, allowing the cup to be taken from him. Trying to focus on any pain he might be in. There was none, aside from an uncomfortable throbbing in both regions, but it was manageable. Therefore he carefully shook his head, pleased when the movement didn’t make him dizzy again.

It was all Thorin needed to hear, before he engulfed him in a crushing hug, which the blond weakly returned. Resting his head against his father shoulder, he just savoured the feeling of drowning in fatherly love. It was good, finally getting rid of some of the responsibility, weighting on him during the last months. He usually didn't mind it much, but after the fear of Dáin finding out, of fighting against traditions he couldn't stand, it was nice to pass it on to someone, who was far more capable of dealing with it.

Only when his father pulled back did Fíli realise, how deeply his condition must've worried his father. Thorin was usually very good at hiding his true emotions, but the blond had long since gotten accustomed to reading what little hints he offered. Thorin's hair was less neat, probably not once braided anew since his arrival, because his hands tended to shake when he was scared for someone dear to him and his eyes framed by dark circles spoke of sleepless nights.

"I'm all right," Fíli said, lacking a better reply and smiled weakly.

Thorin returned it, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

"So," the blond said eventually, "you haven't answered my question."

Thorin sighed.

"When Roäc told me, you had fallen in love. I came as fast as I could. Hoping I could negotiate with Dáin, to give you a chance with his nephew. I expected it to be difficult because of the courtship feast, but what I saw when I arrived was worse than my nightmares."

Fíli swallowed hard.

"You should've told me, I was allowed to love again," he croaked, voice pressed with emotions.

He had struggled and suffered because of it and his father had known it was possible right from the beginning. For a while Fíli wanted to hand himself over to the belief that Thorin had no idea either, remembering what Ori had said about it being forgotten. But his father had come here. He had known.

"It would've been poor words after your loss. It wouldn't have healed the wound Frerin's death left," Thorin told him sorrowful.

"I deserved to know," Fíli snapped, frustrated tears blurring his vision.

"Aye, you are right. I'm sorry I refused you this."

If he had known sooner, he could've tried to court Kíli before he fell for Arik. He could've won his love, become more than a friend. Instead he'd lost Kíli two times, first to Arik and now to Rosbart. Men that wouldn't appreciate what a wonderful person he was, men that only saw him as an object, one using his kind heart, yearning for love, the other simply taking whatever he pleased.

"Does it matter now, though?" Thorin interrupted his thoughts, handing him a handkerchief to dry the tears. "You have him here with you."

"I," Fíli hesitated, hadn't Rosbart left with him right away? He couldn't say how long he was already lying in this bed, but judging by Thorin's appearance it had to be a few days at least. "Why is he still here?"

Thorin frowned briefly, ere understanding expanded on his features. "Of course," he murmured sharply as if to curse himself. "I'm sorry, Fíli." he added softly. "He's here, because Rosbart's unfair practises made him the loser of the duel."

Fíli furrowed his brow.

"And Dáin allowed it?" After everything the king of the Iron Hills had done, he just gave up like this? This didn't seem like this madman at all.

"I talked to him and made sure he will stay out of your business from now on. His embarrassment at not recognising you, along with my threat of ending our alliance, made him very cooperative. As soon as your leg is healed enough, you and Kíli will ride home to Erebor. He is safe."

The relief surging through him almost caused him to lose his balance once again. His friend was alright, he was still here, he wasn't on the way to the Grey Mountains... he was finally going to live the life he deserved, far away from Dáin's reach.

If only the thought of marrying him would fill him with the same happiness. It seemed, despite everything they had achieved, Kíli couldn't escape an unwanted marriage.

"He will be happy to learn you are finally awake. I will send him in," Thorin was already getting up from where he'd sat at Fíli's bedside, as the blond's hand shot forward, capturing his father's wrist in a vice-like grip.

"No, please. I can't see him right now. I need more time. I-" he choked on the next breath.

Offering himself to Kíli had been as much desired, as it was a spontaneous reaction. Under Dáin's looming threat and Kíli's possible future, he hadn't been given a moment to come to terms with what his future would be like. How was he supposed to see Kíli unhappy for the rest of his life? What if Kíli fell in love with another dwarf in Erebor and would come to hate Fíli for holding him captive in their marriage?

No...no... he couldn't... he needed time, more time than anyone was going to offer him.

"Fíli, you need to talk to him. He was worried for you. And you love him. Having him at your side will help you."

"No, it won't," Fíli pressed. "He doesn't love me, 'adad. He just accepted me, because we are friends and it saved him from Rosbart."

The lump in his throat hampered his breathing, filling it with sobs Fíli could barely suppress. He hoped his father wouldn't revoke his deal with Dáin. This cruel treatment wasn't Kíli's fault, if all Fíli was to blame for making such a fuss. Why couldn't he simply be happy? Kíli was safe, Kíli was his friend. Shouldn't he be overjoyed? Why were there tears burning his eyes. Mahal, he was pathetic.

"He loves you," Thorin stated sternly.

"No, he doesn't," Fíli denied.

"Yes, Fíli, he does," the king repeated, gently loosening Fíli's still far too hard grip around Thorin's wrist and squeezed his tense hand. "He was ready to die alongside you, saved your life and faced Rosbart, while I was stuck in the crowd. He sat with you, day and night and only isn't here right now, because Óin, Dís and I could convince him that he needs to stay healthy if he wants to help you and that he needs to sleep to assure it. I have seen him act around you and I can promise you, this lad is helplessly in love with you."

Fíli wasn't convinced, but decided to keep this thought to himself. Everything Thorin had told him didn't indicate a special bond. Every friend would've done the same, Fíli was sure of it. Sadly, his lack of argument put him exactly into the situation he'd wanted to avoid, for his father left the room and barely a minute later Kíli entered it.

He looked dishevelled and tired, but what caused Fíli's eye to widen with shock was the bruise on Kíli's face, spreading over his cheek in a mixture of black, purple and green.

"Fíli," the brunet breathed with relief.

"Mahal, what happened to you?" Fíli exclaimed.

Kíli took a seat at the bedside, before answering:

"It's no big deal. I tried to help you and Rosbart hit me."

"It is a big deal!" Fíli replied furiously. "He hurt you!"

"Not as bad as you," the omega responded and only then did Fíli spot the exhaustion of deep sorrow and days of worrying on his friend's features. His heart ached at the sight.

He snuck his hand into Kíli's, intertwining their fingers.

"Hey, I'm all right," Fíli soothed him.

A choked laugh escaped Kíli.

"You only say that because of all the concoctions Óin forced down your throat. He even had to do a drainage because of the wound secretion. It was awful, Fíli. You almost bled to death. I thought I'd lost you."

Kíli's eyes were open and raw, a completely different fear radiating from him, than all the others he'd experienced so far. The fear of losing a friend.

Fíli was able to pull the brunet into an embrace, surprising himself with the strength he possessed when it came to Kíli.

"I'm sorry I worried you. But I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

The man in his arms inhaled deeply, breath hitching at a sob, but it was only a fleeting moment. Fíli rubbed the shudders from his back and soon felt him relaxing against him.

"I heard your mother is here?" Fíli tried to change the subject to something lighter.

"Aye," Kíli breathed, snuggling into the hug. "Thorin demanded it. I think Dáin is scared of him, since you almost died."

That much about changing the subject...

And then Kíli suddenly shook his head, pushing away from him and the bed. Fíli watched with wide eyes, wondering what he'd done wrong to cause such a reaction. But Kíli was still shaking and the words stuck to the blond's throat.

"I'm sorry," Kíli said, taking a shaky breath and avoiding eye contact. "I shouldn't have... I can't... it's...," he stammered, before he sighed in frustration. Then, his friend glanced at him, swallowing hard, desperation lying in his gaze. "I'm sorry. You love Frerin and I feel awful for taking advantage of you. That's... that's... disgusting of me. It won't happen again, I'm sorry."

Right now his head seemed to work as slow as after awakening and Fíli found himself unable to process Kíli's words.

"Taking advantage of me? Kíli, what are you talking about?"

The brunet ducked his head in shame and Fíli wished his leg wasn't feeling so numb and that he could get up and pull Kíli back into his arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. But you were so... kind and you helped me and you didn't think less of me, regardless what happened. I couldn't help it."

"Kíli..."

"I'm sorry. I promise, I will try not to make things awkward between us."

"Kíli."

"I... we... we... could have separate rooms in Erebor, just as we have here... and-"

"Kíli!" Fíli snapped, finally able to stop Kíli's panicked stammering.

The brunet's mouth snapped shut, eyes wide and fearful, but Fíli wasn’t able to utter reassuring words with the realisation roaring through his thoughts.

"What did you just say?" he urged Kíli to repeat. He needed to hear it again, needed to make sure he hadn't misheard, needed to make sure it wasn't an imagination of his desperate mind, longing for his friend's love.

The other swallowed.

"I'm sorry," he said in a hoarse voice, pressing Fíli to shake his head urgently and almost causing the dizziness to return.

"No, not that." Capturing Kíli's gaze with his own, the blond licked his lips nervously. "Did you say you love me?"

A hesitant nod.

"But I thought you love Arik," Fíli argued. Memories of their kiss attacked him, seeing the alpha pull Kíli close, pressing their lips together, a brush becoming passionate, lids closing to enjoy the feeling. It all spoke of tenderness and affection. Why would Kíli fall in love with him, if he shared such moments with Arik and no other suitor?

"No," Kíli shook his head. His friend looked sad and resigned, as if every bit of fight had drained from him. "I knew I stood no chance with you and I thought if I married Arik I would at least have a friend, if love wasn't a possibility."

Fíli had to bite on the insides of his cheeks to prevent himself from blurting out the truth about the other alpha. But now wasn't the time, now something else was important, something Fíli was just about to comprehend. His heart wasn't yet beating furiously with happiness, just as the urge to smile was lacking. The confusion was keeping him captivated, but the fog felt as if it was only a few words away from being lifted, with the promise of catching a glimpse at the sun.

"I don't understand. When you were so hesitant about my offer to marry you, I thought it was because you didn't want to marry someone you didn't love."

Now it was Kíli's time to stare at him in confusion.

"Is this again something Erebor handles differently?" his friend asked bewildered. "Do you accept second marriages?"

"Second marriages?" Fíli wondered, but then it finally hit him.

Frerin's beads... he'd never taken the time to think about how people, who didn't know his and Frerin's history, might view it. Of course Kíli would've thought them bonded. After all, it was only allowed for married dwarves to continue wearing the beads of their dead lovers. Kíli couldn't have known Fíli was defying traditions with his desire to keep Frerin close, because Fíli hadn't told him. Kíli had seen the beads and heard of Frerin's death and put two and two together.

Fíli cursed himself. Kíli was in love with him and if Fíli had just been a little more open, they could've avoided all that heartbreak.

"Well…, the kind were a dwarves has lost their One and still takes another," Kíli explained, fidgeting with obvious discomfort.

With his head lowered, the blond's unseeing eyes were turned to the blanket in his lap. A tingling went through his body. Kíli loved him. The man Fíli was in love with returned his feelings. Slowly his gaze wandered back to the brunet, smiling warmly at him as he admired the long dark hair, his beautiful brown eyes, the stubbles that would someday grow into an impressive beard if Kíli didn't decide to shave for archery, his lean but strong frame... His appearance was so different to all of the other dwarves Fíli met so far, but this made him only more special. He was lucky to have someone like Kíli fall in love with him.

Fíli stretched his hand out, reaching for Kíli and waiting for him to take it. The look on the other's face still indicated slight concern, but Fíli's soft expression must've soothed the worst of it.

Pulling his friend next to him onto the bed, when their hands finally touched, Fíli began to speak.

"I'm sorry, Kíli. This is my entire fault. Frerin and I weren't married," he told him, rubbing circles in the brunet's skin with his thumb at the other blatant surprise. "I missed him and I wasn't able to let go of what little was left of him. I knew it wasn't accepted. But I kept wearing his beads anyway. To tell you the truth, Kíli...I've fallen in love with you a while ago. I believed your heart belonged to Arik and felt for some time like I was betraying Frerin. I needed time to come to terms with what I'm feeling. And I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner, but I'm going to kiss you now, if you allow me."

Unshed tears glistened in Kíli's eyes as he listened to Fíli's explanation. The blond waited patiently for his friend's answer. Eventually he received a cautious little nod.

Reaching for Kíli's head, Fíli gently placed his hand at the other's nape, pulling him carefully closer, before he tilted his head and captured Kíli's lips in their first kiss. Fíli tried to savour the sensation, memorising the softness of his love's lips and the warmth radiating from his skin. Fíli saw a blush creep to his cheeks, ere he closed his eyes to completely lose himself in the kiss.

He went slow, refraining from using his tongue at noticing Kíli's inexperience. Despite it the brunet wasn't passive, engaged happily in it and turning one kiss into two and more and more and still more. For so long had they nursed their assumed one-sided feelings, had attempted to silence the ache in their hearts, that they now couldn't stop. Making up for weeks of longing and offering the other a glimpse at the future that awaited them now that they had finally got together.

“I love you,” Kíli panted against his lips.

Fíli smiled into the following kiss, a giddy feeling bubbling up inside him, mixed with a happiness he hadn’t dared to hope to ever feel again.

“I love you, too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have actually written the scene where Kíli bolts to Fíli's rescue, but sadly the scene didn't fit into the narrative style of the story. If you want to read it, you can find it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7564306/chapters/17207407) (although I assume most of you already did).


	23. Epilogue

 

 

They barely spent a minute apart after their confession, which wasn’t that much of a difference to the weeks before, but now they would cuddle and kiss and enjoy the closeness of the other. Fíli didn’t see his father much while he recovered, the king of Erebor too busy with meetings with Dáin. Only Dís visited often and Fíli was able to see some of the pain drain from Kíli’s features. The alpha hadn’t even noticed it had been a constant part of the brunet’s speech, behaviour and body language until it slowly ceased. And Fíli was glad to see Kíli's shoulders finally relax by the time the blond's leg was healed enough and they left the Iron Hills.

Before their department, though, they returned to Kíli’s old home, packing his stuff and carefully storing away the toys. Fíli couldn’t help the warm feeling spreading through his chest at the thought of the omega one day making toys for their own child, although this was an idea he didn’t dwell on. He’d just learned of Kíli’s love and he certainly didn’t intend on sharing it any time soon.

During the few moments he shared with his father, Fíli told him of the Ri-brothers, mentioning his desire to improve their situation. He was glad when Thorin offered them jobs in Erebor, promising them to bear the costs of their move. Their kingdom was always in need of a trustworthy scribe in a higher position, Dori could open a tea shop, whereas there was the position of a spy in store for Nori, albeit only after he proved himself to the king. Someone with Nori’s knowledge of the darker parts of the society would be an asset regarding the inner security. Thankfully they agreed to the offer. It was a small repayment for the support Ori and Dori had provided Fíli with.

Just as the Ri-brothers, Kíli’s parents would follow them to Erebor as well, they simply needed a little time to sort everything out. Therefore another goodbye was in order. This time it was less tearful, certainly coming with the prospect of their reunion and continuing their lives in a better way.

To say Kíli was impressed, when he first spotted the gates of Erebor would’ve been the understatement of the current age. His eyes went wide and he stared at the massive gatekeepers, looking up as they headed inside in a way that seemed quite painful for the nape. The world of green marble fascinated him and Fíli felt pride swell in his chest. He could only hope that Erebor would turn out to be everything Kíli dreamed of.

Fíli had expected a strange sense of melancholy at stepping into the chambers that should’ve been his and Frerin’s and finding them empty. Instead a feeling of home engulfed him, allowing him to breathe freely, knowing that Kíli would stay with him from this day on. This place was no longer void of joy. It had created another voice and Fíli liked the soft song of a future it carried.

Even though Fíli ordered them dinner after the long journey and being aware that they should rather take a bath after the long days on the road, he couldn’t help but let himself fall onto the bed, reaching for Kíli’s hands and pulling him down with him. A surprised cry escaped the brunet, before a chuckle won over.

Their noses were barely the width of a palm apart when Fíli rolled onto his side, facing Kíli. Lying as close as this, his nose had no trouble catching Kíli’s unique scent. Since the first time he’d actually taken notice of it, Fíli had realised that he favoured a mixture of sweet and tangy. Frerin had been vanilla and hot stone. Kíli on the other hand smelled to him like cinnamon and the earth after a shower. It gave him a better understanding of the theory that every omega smelled different to every alpha. Kíli smelled right and he felt right. He was a strong, kind and hopefully soon a throughout confident being and Fíli loved every part of him.

Bridging their small distance Fíli made good of his position to steal a kiss. Kíli didn’t allow him to leave it just at that though, wound an arm around his neck and held him close to nip at his lips, before sneaking his tongue in the blond’s mouth. Fíli gladly returned the action.

Fíli loved the openness and eagerness Kíli displayed whenever they shared kisses and other signs of affection. There had been a brief moment, after he’d told his betrothed of Arik’s involvement in Dáin’s intrigue, when Kíli withdrew from him, the old horror of being used without realising it returning and even Fíli’s confession of love and weeks of support couldn’t protect him from irrational assumptions. It had hurt, but at the same time the blond couldn’t hold it against Kíli. Despite everything they had been through, they only knew each other for three months and it would take more time to form a trust that wasn’t going to shatter so easily. A calm conversation with Fíli and Dís a day later had soothed Kíli’s helpless panic. It couldn’t prevent the embarrassment attacking the omega afterwards, though.

This was much better. Kíli was at ease with him, making their closeness so much sweeter.

The food interrupted them in the end. The feeling of having Kíli all to himself was still so new to him, Fíli was reluctant to let him go, but his own growling stomach told him that eating wasn’t such a bad idea.

“So, the wedding will be in a month?” Kíli wondered, the way he was shoving the food around on his plate told Fíli there was something bothering him.

Swallowing the bite he’d just been chewing on, he nodded.

“Yes, my father will need a little time for the preparations, but since we claimed our desire to marry in a courtship feast, it needs to happen soon.”

“And your people…,” the brunet’s voice became hesitant, “when… when do they expect the first heir? Within the first year of marriage?”

Reaching over the table, Fíli laid one of his hands over Kíli’s, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Hey,” he said softly, urging his love to look at him. “They don’t expect anything. It is common to have the first child around the age of one hundred. And before that time no one will ask for it and to be honest, I don’t want a child right now. I want to get to know you, Kíli.”

Kíli gazed at him with surprise, the sight only confirming the significance of his words.

“We have met three months ago and spent the first with being terrible to each other. There is so much we don’t know about the other. There is nothing I want besides this right now. We have all the time in the world.”

His betrothed smiled contently, changing the angle of his hand to squeeze Fíli’s in return.

“I like that plan,” he admitted. “Thank you for saving me.”

To Fíli it didn’t feel like he’d saved Kíli, rather like they had saved each other.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, leaving kudos and comments, initiating discussions and being in general so enthusiastic about this story! I'm blown away by the response this story received and don't really know what to say, despite thank you so, so much for following Fíli and Kíli through their struggles!
> 
> The stories of this 'verse aren't completely over yet, as you have seen there is already a side story posted and a few more of those will follow. But I don't want the side stories to lie as an unfished story forever, so I will only write what I've already in mind for the side stories and afterwards leave this 'verse. If there is something you would like to see explored in the side stories, please let me know within the next few days, either here or on [tumblr](http://nelioe.tumblr.com/) and I would try to add it into the side stories.
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much for your support! :)


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